OK I came from a very crazy family. Lots of abuse. My dad exposed himself to me from the age of three until I left home at 18. My dad did lots of gross things but that is not the jest of this post.
One of the things my dad did that I clearly remember was exposing himself in the elevator at work to woman twice and he almost got fired for it. My dad is dead now and denied that it happened and said it was all a set up. But I clearly remember him almost getting fired over it. I was just a kid about 7 or 8 years old. Why would I make that up? How could I make that up? The fighting between my mom and dad over it I clearly remember.
OK now to today. In my hall there were three child molesters, another long story. So I have been really upset with the elders not informing anyone, another long story.
So tonight I went by an older elders home to ask why the child molesters are allowed to do what they want including holding children etc in the hall.
This elder who is in his late 80's worked with my dad and held a job above my dad, he was from what he said best friends with the boss. My dad hated this elder but the elder say that he never knew it and thought my dad really life him. My dad wanted to kill this elder. My dad was crazy and wanted to kill many people including me. As a child I felt one day my dad might kill me and the whole family. When I mentioned that my dad exposed himself at work the elder said how do you know? I said my dad talked about it at home. The elder said no never happened. I said it clearly did happen the elder said no the boss would have told me. You are mistaken your dad never exposed himself at work. Then the elder said only you say it happened and only you say that your dad exposed himself to you but how do the rest of us know?
I was blown away. I am trying to not let it get me down. It is like this elder is saying that I am making all of this up. That I was never abused.
Before we moved into this hall I met with all the elders and told them that I was molested as a child and that my dad masturbated in front of me and that I needed to be away from child molesters. Now six and half years latter this elder said I was totally in the wrong to talk to the elders before we moved to the hall. I was a woman and as such I should have told my husband what to say and I should have just sat there while my husband related to the body my abuse because as a woman has no place to speak to elders. I was blown away. I told him my abuse was my pain and my husband could not and should not relate how I feel that as a woman I am not stupid. He said I never mentioned that my dad masturbated in front of me as a child that I just babbled about stupid things when I met with the elders and none of the elders understood why I was talking. I was so blown away. I said then why did one of the elders come to me and say I was brave for telling them my past. He just looked blank at me.
He than said our state is a none reporting state and the the elders do not have to tell anyone who a pedophile is in the hall. I said but you could tell parents he said yes but since it is not the law there is no reason to tell anyone. He said the "friends" would figure it out by the fact that the child molesters never say prayer.
I just looked at him and said you are kidding right. He was dead serious. I said would it not be loving to at least let the "friends" know you have a level 3 sex offender in the hall and a man who likes to put his penis in little girls mouths. He just repeated that we live in a none reporting state and the elders do not have to tell anyone.
OK I trying not to be down but did I did not make up my abuse. Why would I make it up about my dad?
I feel like I am going crazy in this religion. Help me to not feel so horrible right now.
Life is to short.