I need you help! When I was a child my dad exposed himself at work, but older elder just told me it never happened.

by life is to short 23 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • Heartbreaker
    Heartbreaker

    I think there is only so much one person can do. You say that you were abused, and I believe you. You say that all others deny it, and I believe you. You say that you haven't been in the bOrg in a year, and I believe you.

    When you say you are being reabused by the elders denying you, I think you are bringing it on yourself.

    You are a woman in your 40's who can move on. Your abuser is dead. You want the congregation you left to know about abusers you know. So you go to the elders? At what point in the history of your life have the elders EVER done the right thing in this situation? It's known that they will protect their own reputation, and the abuser, rather than the child and the community. OVER AND OVER they've shown this. Why in the world would you think that they would help?

    Or that they would confirm for you what you already know about your dad? Will it make it hurt less if that 80 year old elder admitted to having known your dad was such a selfish asshole? I doubt it.

    In my opinion, you are looking for something to do for others, or for others to verify something for you, so you can heal. It's the wrong way.

    Someone above recommended you use placards or flyers. In my opinion, doing something proactive to warn the innocent ones would make you different than those elders. The elders who know and don't warn. How are you different, knowing and not warning? Either warn those that matter, or leave it alone for your own sanity. There will always be, and have always been people who mistreat, abuse, manipulate and scar children. It will eat you up if you don't deal with your own hurt, and then if you can, help others to not be in that situation.

    I speak from experience.

  • wokeup1
    wokeup1

    I once had an employee steal thousands and thousands of dollars from me and than after he was convicted of a felony

    and served time he went to work for my biggest competitor. The damage he did was undeniable, for a year and a half

    I have told many people he victimized me and contiunes to. I now am at a point where I'm tired of hearing myself say this.

    It doesn't serve any purpose and keeps you locked to the past. Make the most of your life now. Live well, Love well, shine.

    You really don't need anyones validation of the abuse you went through as a child and spending alot of energy in that pursuit

    is also keeping that abuse alive. Free yourself, its time and YOU deserve it.

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    > He than said our state is a none reporting state and the the elders do not have to tell anyone who a pedophile is in the hall

    If these people have been convicted in a court of law, just go get the public records from the courts and pass them around to all of the JWs.

    You cannot be accused of slander if the person was convicted in a court of law.

  • life is to short
    life is to short

    Thanks everyone it all makes a lot of sense. I guess I wanted the people who knew me as a kid who I thought were my friends to care but that is not what Jehovah's Witnesses are about. I spent my whole life with these people and they wish I was dead. It is so hard to realize the sickness of this religion.

    It has only been really a year ago this month that I stopped going to the meetings. Yes I am going to pass out his court records and police records to everyone. I have both of them and boy did that ever piss off the elders that I got them.

    I have joined a support group and my fellow members have said that they will stand outside the KH and pass them out or maybe put them on the cars while the meeting is going on. I have told some of the members of the hall and they do not want to know. Other who know still allow their children around these men.

    I know I have to realize that I cannot stop child abuse from happening. It is just so sad to know that we have men who rape children in the hall and they go door to door.

    It just seems like there should be some law or something that would stop this. Why pick on the Catholics like everyone does with the Jehovah's Witnesses are so much worse. At least the Catholics do not send the priests door to door like we do. Yet no one really wants to know.

    I am just frustrated and I know hurt by this. I need to move on but it is hard to just forget about it. It is hard to realize that there is nothing I can do. There is nothing really I can do even passing out the court records and such will not make any difference to these people.

    Thanks again LITS

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    OK, you've taken an important step by staying away from the Kingdom Hall and letting go of The WATCHTOWER's control of your life, but the pedophile issue is clearly very important to you. For that reason I suggest that you find a group in your area - and if there isn't one, you can start one - to lobby your politicians to tighten up the reporting laws in your state. Besides the fact that by doing so you will be helping untold hundreds of victims, your activism in this effort will help you overcome the feeling that you are still a victim. You are a SURVIVOR, and you can make a difference.

    Think of how good you will feel when your state adopts mandatory reporting laws and you can know that you helped make this happen. Then you can tell Brother Old Elder to sit on a tack and spin.

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    The sooner you accept this fact, the better; the Watchtower cult expects submission even to the death. It doesn't care that you're dealing with abuse as a child or that you're trying to protect today's children from the same fate. What matters is that you're not submitting to its will. You are talking about things that should remain secret so as to protect the organization. And they're trying to make you think that you're crazy to stop you.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    Geez,

    i can only imagine the stress, but if it were me i think i would tell EVERYONE and then give em all the finger.

    perhaps its time to do something and accept the 'consequences' the elders dish out?

    I personaly could not stand to be in the company of hypocrits for a minute.

    oz

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Some info

    There are two kinds of rules regarding disclosing abuse to the authorities.

    The WTS only discusses the legal rules. It never discusses the ethical rule

    As part of my training as a counselor we, and all professionals especially those working with children, were instructed on the legal rules. If we witnessed or were told of an instance of abuse we were OBLIGATED BY LAW to report the abuse. Failing to do so could make us complicit in the abuse. I live in Canada where it is the law right across the country. (Can't believe they have states in the US where this isn't the law)

    The rest of the non-professional population (not doctors, teachers, counselors, lawyers, clergy, child care workers, etc.) have an ETHICAL or MORAL OBLIGATION to report even suspicions about children being abused. Then the professionals can investigate.

    I have walked past cars where children were left alone, listened to children scream next door, heard women being beaten by their spouses. Even if I wasn't a professional how could I live with myself and not say or do something? How would I feel if those children or those women were later found dead or been hospitalized and I did nothing? Just for my own conscience sake I would do something. Professionals are there to investigate. Call them and let them take it from there.

    A few years ago I heard the little boy next door scream and then heard a huge thud on the wall. I called the police immediately and they were there in minutes because I said a child about 3 yrs old was involved. It turned out the father and the boy were playing football in the house. The police verified it and came to let me know. About an hour later the father knocked on my door and thanked me. He said he would prefer someone taking action to protect his child rather than remain quiet while his child was being hurt. I was impressed then and still am.

    I've also called the police when a man was screaming at a woman to open the door so he could beat the crap out of her (they hauled him away in handcuffs) and another case where I could hear the screaming from across the street on my way home (They took him away in handcuffs too)

    Both my children have each called the authorities to help a friend who was being abused

    If a person decides to call the authorities here is what you need:

    1. a phone number for the authorities - police if it is an emergency, social services when it is not an emergency (usually in the front of your phone book)
      • if it is an emergency - an address or place where the abuse is happening
      • if it is not an emergency - name of victim(s), address, phone number of the victim if possible, and who you think is abusing them
    2. give them as much information as possible to help them in their investigation.
    3. your name will remain anonymous (the authorities cannot give out that information, However, it might be possible for the victims or accused to figure it out
    4. expect that the authorities may want to talk to you in person.

    LITS

    I'm sorry you didn't get the help you needed as a child. The elders haven't got a clue. They didn't years ago and they still don't. They want to hide behind "clergy privilege" but that does not apply in terms of child abuse - well in most places it doesn't apply. But even if the law does not specify whether to report or not our MORAL and ETHICAL values should tell us to help a child who is being abused.

    Even if you got no help in the past, if you have the info that I mentioned above and can help even one child then pick up the phone. You might be amazed how helping another victimized child soothes your own hurt inner child.

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    marking. Good info Lady Lee.

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    Terrible subject matter. Sorry, but the way this thread has developed the story does not ring true to my ear.

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