In the aftermath of the family intervention ambush, I got a phone call from my great uncle (never been a JW). He told me he'd heard about my wife reading my e-mail and taking it to the elders (although she didn't actually show them the e-mail, just reported its contents). Apparently, my grandmother told him about it. I don't know how she found out about that level of detail; I guess my father or someone must have told her, or maybe I did tell my non-JW [but very awesome] aunt about it and she passed it on. Apparently, they also heard about my brother's verbal abuse during the family assault that occurred one week ago.
My great uncle could see, as would be plain to anyone, that the way I was treated was very unchristian. Dare I say, the actions of my family "brought reproach on Jehovah's name". Ironic, ain't it? By seeming so righteous and self-assured, attacking when they should have been reasoning, readjusting, seeking to understand, they became the very things they accused me of being. They embarrassed the religion and themselves in front of our non-JW relatives, who will no doubt be very shocked to hear that my own family will be shunning me--my mom, brother, aunt, and two cousins, over a dozen people altogether counting the full families.
I didn't actually give a whole lot of thought to all of that, but it has certainly had an unexpected consequence. My immediate family has antagonized my extended family. It would be laughable if it weren't such a stupid thing to have a quarrel over, all things considered. I say it's stupid because most of the real issues at stake--beliefs like 1914, "this generation", the way the "Bible chronology" stuff was handled throughout this religion's history--have no bearing at all on being a Christian. But these very things resulted in my being expelled from the religion, somehow deemed unworthy of God's approval, or even my family's approval.
I think the fact that this religion is a cult has become more firmly impressed upon the minds of my extended family with all of this. I'm just disappointed that I didn't bother to learn about this stuff years ago. It would've been a much more interesting decade, rather than having a bunch of chaotic stuff crammed into a single year like I've done. I might have had more of a chance to learn about life outside the WT that way.
Anyway, probably it hasn't ingratiated my wife with my grandmother or extended family, but it's nobody's fault but the cult's, really. My wife is a good woman, but has been reduced to a state of complete dependence on the organization. Perhaps, as she used to remind me, if it weren't for the religion, we would never have met. But if it's a cult, and it is, you must understand that we don't owe it anything just because we met by means of it. Imagine Holocaust survivors saying, "If it wasn't for the Nazis, we would never have met." True, but they wouldn't wear swastikas or something out of 'gratitude', right? Just a bad situation that something good came out of.
Anyway, for me, I'm basically shunning my mom because, well, she's supposed to be shunning me. We have no business to take care of that can't be handled through my wife, since you're suddenly so interested in her now. My thought is, you want to be bound by these stupid rules? Fine. Be bound by them, then. You want to know what it is to be cold? I can be absolute zero from now on, since you sanctioned me getting barked at like a dog in your home by the other son you raised and turned into a company man.
Of course, it's not personal, really. Since it's an organization that's involved, it's business. Forms filed, announcements made, protocols obeyed. Done. |
But it's truly amazing that a 2,000-year-old book can cause this much trouble because somebody decided to go all Da Vinci Code on it back in 1879. I mean, at a certain point, you just have to step back and look at the absurdity of it all. I enjoy the Good Word as much as any Christian, but at some point, a long time ago, people just went off the deep end into extremism with it and took a lot of people along for the ride.
But I'm actually pleased that this is happening, because it creates awareness. It says, hey, these are the real fruits of what the Watchtower Society has created. A nice, shiny new apple that's rotten to the core, but determined to look as polished as possible.
My interest is not to present myself as more righteous in any way. I'm not. Ever since quillsky's post, I've been wondering if maybe I am a "self-absorbed cad" after all. I asked my wife if she thought I was doing enough for her and our daughter. "For you, you do good," she replied. She reminded me of how much "ripping and running" she asks me to do, sending me to the grocery store practically every night after work on behalf of the family, leading to me getting home pretty late in the evening and pretty tired. I figure, if there's one person who will be blunt with me about my failings, it's my wife. If I was entirely self-centered and a crap husband, she would be saying so.
Still, I'm just another person, trying to make it. I only point out the WT's flaws because it presents itself as being the "mountain of true worship", the "ark" of our times, "Jehovah's chariot", "the bride of Christ", etc. With such lofty terms applied to itself, I would think it's fair to expect something incredibly brilliant coming from its literature and deeds, rather than a framework that just...seems like the work of amateur con-artists, in hindsight.
Well, better go. Talk to you folks later.
