Funny things to not do at the Memorial (page 7)

OrphanCrow

Eat two cans of beans for lunch. You should be ready to pass some smelly ones by the time the memorial service starts.

James Mixon

Say out loud "Hail Mary full of Grace", make the sign of the cross and eat the bread.

cha ching

Hilarious! Nice to see you again. My sister & I had a good laugh! Thx for bumping ;-)

Anony Mous

Get a flashmob of about 100 people dispersed in the meeting. When the emblems pass, do a solemn, slow interpretive dance routine.

Get the above flashmob or even a smaller group of ~20 people to dress in their best suits, trickle in one by one and when asked, each one is a JW all from different parts of the country here on business or family emergency. All of you partake of the emblems. Each of them takes a sizable chunk of the bread and drinks a good chug from the glass of wine, see the elders scramble to get more bread and wine out. Typically there is 1 or 2 bottles of wine and like 4-6 big pieces of the crackers, make sure to partake enough but do it that they're out not even halfway through, make sure to signal the servants that you need some if the plate passes empty. Plus points if there is a liquor store nearby and you can get elders to go two or three times. Even better if the KH was assigned the circuit overseer or a Bethel speaker for that week and you catch the elders utterly unprepared in front of their bosses.

Get dressed in an Armani or other really nice suit, when people ask, tell them you are from NYC and were sent by the governing body. When pressed, whisper in that "we're preparing for the big day and monitoring to see who needs to be in line first for paradise in 2024, those that eat and drink kind of jump the line to prepare for the rest, there will be several months of waiting in the transition from the old world so we're making a list of who needs to go first". Make sure you partake of the emblems and write in a small book whenever you see a partaker.

Dress up as the Jesus in the JW books. Pretend you do not hear anything from anyone, talk quietly with big smiles to a single older person (kudos if you know it is someone who is actually "annointed"). When the elders come rebuke them with a loud, heavy voice and if male, promote the older person to presiding elder.

MissFit

Pete Zahut

Put a blotch of reddish makeup on your upper lip and wear a Label Pin that says " I have Herpes Simplex and I Partake"

rebel8

Wear a stuffed parrot on your shoulder and act totally nonchalant. Don't arrive early, or this may get you kicked out. When the bread is approaching you, say loudly, in a parrot voice, "Polly want a cracker!" Feed it to the stuffed animal.

Wear a big blue furry sweater. When the bread is approaching you, start singing the Cookie Monster song, "Cookie for me, cookie for you!"

rebel8

Picket outside with a sign that says, "GREAT CROWD LIVES MATTER".

Crazyguy

How about pulling out a big fat Easter egg a chocolate one and eat on it the whole time their blabbing about not eating the bread or wine.

Funny things to not do at the Memorial

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