by restrangled 31 Replies latest jw friends
I am asking this based on Sd-7's posts and am curious what you consider fair as far as house upkeep in the position you are in.
I was raised in the 60/70 decades from parents married in the 1950's so I seem to have a pretty old fashioned idea of what "housewife" means.
When I was working I had no tolerance for any slop habits, but since I'm home I don't require much.
So what are your ideals, how does your home operate?
r.
Well my wife works as I do. But thats about it.
Ok, here's my take. If a woman is at home (no job outside the home) then she should take care of the house. That might sound old fashion but for the 10 years I was at home with my kids, I took great pride in my home and kids and absolutely never expected anything out of my husband in the house. That didn't mean he didn't pitch in and do things though. And he isn't a slob either. For both parents working outside the home, then yeah, you have to divide some of that stuff up, it's just to hard on a mom/wife. But for a woman to be home all day, no job, and the house be a mess, I don't get it. You know , in the 50's, woman were at home with there kids and their house and their gardens and their sewing machines. Now I know times have changed but woman today consider those things a hobby or therapeutic now, they consider that down time! I work outside of the home part time, go to school part time and take care of a 13 year old daughter, but have never once complained about taking care of the house. I like it!
As for Sd-7's situation, no offense, but he needs to let her go for several different reasons. I don't know why he puts up with all of this crap.
I'm a stay at home Mom and the house is always clean(to the naked eye) and laundry done but supper may or may not be on the table..LOL.
My husband is used to the last minute text to pick up dinner.
But Hey!! I can't do it all:)
I clean, taxi the kids around and make sure they all have clean draws not to mention other important must do's.
He never complains..thankfully.
Well thanks for your input girls, I was afraid I was the only woman at home and nobody else dared answer.
I agree with both of you, I have worked outside the home on and off for years, raised two boys, and also helped my husband run his business...and still help once in a while. (Answer the phone, get all tax stuff ready and do all the banking)
Now I am at home, and my 22 year old son moved back home. I handle all things in the house. I use to do all the yard work, but I'm getting too tired to do that anymore so I have a yard guy for $25.00 a week. I still do all the weeding, and pool maintenance, and putting in new plants.
I love keeping the house "clean to the eye"....but I am aware of what needs attention. Yes, I too will call my husband and say...sorry, you have to pick up dinner tonight. That's maybe once a week, ok twice if I'm desperate!
I do all the shopping, laundry, and even take out all the garbage. I don't think these guys even know what day the trash guys come, but that's OK...I love being able to be home.
r.
I have a professional career, but I am currently a stay-home dad by choice.
I saw your post earlier Restrangled, from my phone and couldn't answer.
I was a stay at home mom for about 16 years, off and on. I would work some, part PART time mostly, save for 3 years while I was a single mom, where I worked a lot, parented, and partied <ahem>. Just recently I went "back to work" but I'm self employed, and trying harder to be self motivated.
I was never a very good housewife, but I rocked as a mom, I think....jury is still out on that one.
My husband is a neat freak, and would complain that things aren't to his standards, and then I'd push forth a huge effort, and then I'd slide again. It was hard work, as there are more than the average amount of kids, and a really huge house. Excuses I know.
Now our roles are reversed, he's not a working parent right now, and does the running and school stuff, and going to the store we do together because we enjoy it....if I'm busy he'd gladly go without me. He's understanding now how hard it is to do things around the house, be a parent, and make all ends meet, and has apologized for being so judgemental and critical. I tell him just be glad none of them are still breastfeeding, in diapers, and that he doesn't have to gestate!
It does mean a lot that he realizes what it takes, and has thanked me for allowing him to take this time being layed off to enjoy his kids and appreciate my role.
When I was single, I raised my youngest brother and sister. I raised them to take care of themselves. My sister has 3 kids all independent able to cook and clean. I married but children were not in the picture. We divide the home duties and we both work outside the home.
I was able to stay at home with the kids when they were small (before school age )and I did all the cooking cleaning , housework and yardwork . When the youngest went to school I went to work part-time . The kids and my husband learned to help out around the house (always had to tell them specifically what to do ,but they did it ) The three boys all learned how to cook ,clean and do laundry .
Now that evryone is grown (except my husband ) I am back to doing it all myself unless I am sick then my husband will clean or cook .
Best thing is that he has always cooked breakfast for us on Sunday mornings ,and still does for me ! coffee , pancakes ,sausage and eggs !
There is a lot going on in their household right now and I am not personally feeling the need to judge either one.
I have been a stay at home mom since my first. When she first arrived I was tired, tired, tired, tired, tired, tired all the time! I napped when she napped and nursed her what seem to be the rest of the time. Like their household we had 'additional' stressors complicating our relationship and like her I clung even harder to the 'troof'. She doesn't trust him, she is feeling betrayed, she doesn't know how to cope or deal with all of this because she never in her wildest dreams thought this could happen to her....... and yes to some extent she is 'hating' him for ruining her perfect JW life....... but I hated my husband for ruining things to and in time this too shall pass.
