Are you a stay at home mom, working woman with or with out children or a combination of both? (page 3)

snowbird

I'm a working mama and g'ma.

My 20-year old college daughter has her own quarters at my house which she keeps immaculately clean.

My 15-year old g'son and 12-year old g'daughter live with me in the other part.

The g'son ran away from his mama and daddy; I've had the g'daughter since she was 4 months old.

They both can cook and do a pretty good job of cleaning - the g'son does much better than the g'daughter.

We get along pretty well together, all things considered.

Great thread, Restrangled.

Sylvia

Hi Girls. I have been married over 20 years and have always worked. When my kids were little, I only worked about 2-3 days a week and it was shifts. I would get up withe the kids get them off, clean and have dinner in the crock pot, have lunches done for the next day come home at 12mn and start it all again. When my schedule was like that I did absolutely everything all kids doctor appts, went on every school event, cleaned the house, maintained 2 acres and the car and was a good little JW. Now I work full time and then some and I need help. My husband does a lot more now. He gets the kids off in the morning (does a better job than I did). The boys mow the lawn. Car goes to the car wash. I am not quit as obsessive about the house, found out that the window washing police don't come if it's not done by memorial day. I find it so interesting that a woman could be an accomplished professional who works 80 hours a week, but the way the house looks is a reflection on her and no one else, jeez! NMKA

tec

Before kids, I worked as much as my husband, and we divided duties. Truth be told, he's a far better cook than I am. But since children, I've been a stay at home mom when we can afford it, and a part time working/full time mom when we can't afford it. My boys are 7 and 11. I take care of the house, all the school stuff, holidays, errands, etc. I don't mind doing all of it, as long as its appreciated. I know my husband works long and hard hours, and comes home physically exhausted, and I don't think it matters who is doing more... it matters who has the energy to do what.

But when I am working outside the home, then the housework and the cooking will slack.

However, being a mom is more important than all the rest, and I will let everything else slack before that stuff.

All this being said, when my kids were still babies/toddlers, I was exhausted all the time. I had little help from the hubbie, and our relationship was extremely strained by who did more. Especially since we were used to a two income family and splitting the chores. We were both young, but I always assumed that every relationship when through that phase while children were young.

Scully

I work full time, but my schedule is such that I work 12 hour shifts crammed together and get 4 days off in between my sets. I keep saying that it's like having a long weekend every other week, but it is quite exhausting. Because my shifts are a 9-day rotation, Mr Scully does the laundry on a consistent day every week. I'll throw in an extra load if needed in between.

When I am off, I do the bulk of the housework and cooking, plus taxiing everyone around to their appointments, etc. When I work day shift, I expect Mr Scully to take care of dinner (2 days out of 9) and I bring "leftovers" to work for my dinner; when I work nights I make dinner the first night, and then come home in the morning and put something in the slow cooker for my second night so that dinner is ready when I get up after sleeping all day. The bathrooms get cleaned thoroughly when I am off, but I clean the sinks and toilets every morning, every day. I clean my kitchen every evening (except for the 2 nights I work, and that is either up to Mr Scully or one of the teenagers. I have been known to pitch a fit when I get up at 5 am to get ready for work and find a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, after I cleaned the evening before.

My favorite appliance is my Roomba. It vacuums because I hate to lug around the stupid cannister vac. The only vacuuming I do now is the stairs.

palmtree67

We both work full-time.

I do almost all of the cooking, mostly because I enjoy it. We rarely eat out. He says thank you after every meal I cook.

He does most of the laundry and we share cleaning duties (although I probably do more cleaning than he does.)

He looks after all the banking, bills, and business crap.....I hate that stuff.

The important thing is: he never makes me feel like I HAVE to cook or clean. If I don't feel like cooking one night or just reading a book all Saturday, he never makes me feel guilty about it.

Ilovebirthdays

I stay at home. My husband usually works between 44 and 48 hours a week. I have one preschooler and one Kindergartner. I pretty much do all the cleaning and cooking. I think since I'm the one staying home I should bear the brunt of all the household chores. If my husband were the one who stayed home, then he should have to do them. He does small jobs around the house and cooks some meals. What I appreciate is the fact he takes the kids in the evening and plays with them, and is in charge of baths. I love my children to death, but by that point in the day, I'd rather have some peace and quiet while cleaning up after dinner than doing bath time. He also picks up the slack, chore-wise, if I'm sick. He does all the yardwork (I made it quite clear I don't do yardwork) and the bills, etc. I pretty much am in charge of the inside of the house, and running the non-paperwork household affairs.

The house is pretty clean. It has to be, we're trying to sell it, and you never know when to expect someone coming by to see it. (Although the housing market is soooo slow here, but that's another story.) I've found I just have to make myself keep up on the cleaning, and if I put in 1/2 hour to 45 minutes a day of cleaning, my house looks better than 99% of the houses we've looked at.

I think the important thing, is like palmtree67, he doesn't make me feel like it is my job to do all these things. When the kids and I decide to have a do nothing and play all day kind of day, he never makes me feel guilty for not doing much but playing with them all day. He is also appreciative of what I do, and we both know his going to work and being the boss is very stressful, etc. it isn't like staying at home all day with two small children is a walk in the park. I think we both respect what the other does and realize that some days are harder than others for both of us, and one of us always picks up the slack for the other when it has been a long day.

Mickey mouse

I work, my husband is a stay at home dad, although we're swapping that around later in the year.

restrangled

So many wonderful stories, thank you all!

I have to relay a story to DaCheech if he is still reading based on part of his response:

"my house is never more than 90% clean, for my children are slobs and there's always playdo or legos somewhere to trip on"

My house was loaded with loose legos, in the couches, under rugs, beds, pantry, corners, anywhere you could ever imagine. I always pulled them out of the vacuum or dustpan. I just kept a special spot to dump them. This went on for at least 15 years. After my youngest son left, I just collected them, including the ones he managed to keep together and put them in a huge heavy duty lawn bag out in the garage.

Several years later both sons decided to return home for awhile...(now in their 20's)

One of my fondest memories is of the day, when my older son, my husband and myself, just for kicks pulled out that bag of lego's and sorted them all into bins for my younger son who was at work at the time.

It took us many hours, but the entire time we were laughing and reminiscing of the times we spent together. When we finished at least $2000.00 worth of legos were sorted by colors, little men, castles, dragons, boats, etc. At least 10 bins worth to the brim. When my younger son arrived home he was astonished, and although he will never admit to this, we heard him sorting and putting together some of his favorites in his room. It put a smile on all of our hearts.

Those legos are now back out to the garage, still sorted, waiting for grandchildren to drop them into every crevice possible.

r.

DaCheech

restrangled, your advice is golden......... instead of yelling and/or throwing them, i will save in bins too

Magwitch

Restrangled this is a great thread....I love your lego story...

As you know I work full time and do not have a lot of time for housework. I do not have to cook much anymore since the girls turned Vegan a few years back. The house gets to looking like someone picked it up and shook it good, however it is the highschool hang out place and the neighborhood animal restaurant, so why spend my time cleaning? I will do that another time in my life.

Are you a stay at home mom, working woman with or with out children or a combination of both?