Hi again. I posted this part of the story earlier this week.
So we are at the point where my daughter has been taking in my lifestyle for 4 years since she I left the truth when she was just 4 years old. My son who is a couple of years younger thankfully seems to be immune to most of the indoctrination from the JW’s. He is in his own world most of the time & only really cares about football stickers & Wii games. Although I have no doubt that later on in his life the same situation would have arisen, for now I am referring to the experience with my daughter, aged 8.
So since I left the organisation I have been just the same old me as far as my daughter is concerned. Loving, kind & hardworking. I was determined when I left the JW’s that I wouldn’t give them any reason to gossip & bitch about me being immoral or sinful since I left the org. Although I have always liked a drink (even when I was a JW) and sometimes drink excessively at certain family occasions it is fairly obvious that I am no drunk or alcoholic.
I love my family & I work hard for every single penny we have. I do a physically demanding job, getting started at 5am & I return home about mid-day. I often spend a little time with my wife who is full time mum when I get home. Then we may do chores around the house before picking up the kids from school & doing their homework, preparing dinner etc. Life is busy yet very worthwhile. My family have been my main focuses since leaving the witnesses.
I apologise for 'talking myself up' here. I’m just trying to paint the picture of our family life. Along with my wife who is a superb mother, my daughter has good examples for parents, in my opinion. She is loved & well cared for & this shows because she is very settled at school & her reports are always exceptional.
But, she has been observing the fact that I am not a JW any longer & most recently she has become aware that I celebrate birthdays, new year etc with my family. The kids do not. My wife had taken them pretty regularly to all the meetings & took them out on the field service. Although I became increasingly concerned about the effect of JW teachings on my children I relented & allowed it, all the while observing any issues that may arise from their exposure to the ‘truth’. Occasionally my wife & I would argue about the appropriateness of the teachings on the mind of young kids & also other matters. It more often than not ended in an all out fight so for some time during 2009 I had said very little about it. For peace sake.
Then, last September my wife went away for a ‘girls weekend’ so I had the kids alone for the weekend. We had a great time together, just the 3 of us which was nice. One of the nights my daughter was looking rather sad. I asked her what was wrong & it gradually all came spilling out. During the time she was speaking she became extremely upset, breathless & hysterical.
This is the crux of what she said over & over again: “Daddy because you celebrate Christmas & birthdays the meetings tell me that Jehovah is going to kill you. In the paradise people that do these things won’t be there. And I love you daddy, I don’t want to be without you. Granny & Grandad too wont be there. (shouting at me now) You’ve got to STOP this daddy. I don’t want to be without you. Why can’t you come back to the meetings? Why is Jehovah going to do all this? What will you do on your own if you aren’t in the paradise daddy? I heard them say it at the big meeting. It said it will be coming soon. Oh daddy, daddy, I love you. What will you do? I can‘t be without my daddy”
It makes me sad to even think about the state that she was in that night. Normally when my baby girl is upset I can say the right things and she very quickly calms down. Not this time. I was helpless against the power of the drip feeding of this hideous religion. I couldn’t calm her down. This went on for around 20 minutes until eventually she tired herself out. Eventually I just cradled her in my arms & shushed her to sleep.
I cannot begin to tell you the range of emotions that I went through after my daughter was asleep. I went from sad to angry to bitter to hurt to rage. I was a mess.
The suspicion that I had had for a long time, that my daughter was being affected by what she was learning at those meetings was all true.
Obviously I needed to confront my wife. Thankfully she was away because this situation would have led to an explosive argument. So I had the time to think about how I would tackle it. As far as I was concerned, my kids would never see the inside of a kingdom hall again. But how do I go about getting my wife onside? How do I put it to her in a reasoned, logical manner? Every issue in the past had ended with us having to agree to differ. Surely this would be different though? This was the inner emotions of our firstborn baby girl. This was the sum total of my wife blindly taking them along to those meetings and exposing them to this mind rape every single week, for years. This is what it does folks. This is the result of ‘divine teaching.’
The questions that my daughter was entertaining in her mind should not be part of the thought processes of any single living person, never mind a 5, 6 or 7 year old. Fun, cakes, jelly, parties, the cinema, friends, lemonade, sweeties. This is what a child should be thinking about. Not the end of the world. Not her hard working, loving, caring father being killed by some invisible man on top of a big horse with a sword protruding from his mouth. It is disgusting. It is so disgusting that it still makes me angry. What these people done to my children is criminal.
The suspicion that I had had for a long time, that my daughter was being affected by what she was learning at those meetings was all true.Obviously I needed to confront my wife. Thankfully she was away because this situation would have led to an explosive argument. So I had the time to think about how I would tackle it. As far as I was concerned, my kids would never see the inside of a kingdom hall again. But how do I go about getting my wife onside? How do I put it to her in a reasoned, logical manner? Every issue in the past had ended with us having to agree to differ. Surely this would be different though? This was the inner emotions of our firstborn baby girl. This was the sum total of my wife blindly taking them along to those meetings and exposing them to this mind rape every single week, for years. This is what it does folks. This is the result of ‘divine teaching.’
The questions that my daughter was entertaining in her mind should not be part of the thought processes of any single living person, never mind a 5, 6 or 7 year old. Fun, cakes, jelly, parties, the cinema, friends, lemonade, sweeties. This is what a child should be thinking about. Not the end of the world. Not her hard working, loving, caring father being killed by some invisible man on top of a big horse with a sword protruding from his mouth. It is disgusting. It is so disgusting that it still makes me angry. What these people done to my children is criminal.
So what to do?
Then it began to dawn on me! The organisation is never wrong, is it? Somehow, could this issue be twisted & turned. The blame deflected away from ‘mother’. Oh yes it could! I was becoming so aware of our other discussions & how even through calm, reasoned argument, the organisation is found to be never at fault.
But surely my wife couldn’t argue with this? Action needed to be taken for the sanity of our kids. Right?
I’ll tell you the outcome in the final part III. It follows what is probably a predictable path but again shows the JW religion to be a cold, heartless & thoroughly indecent racket. It may shock you. It may not.
Best,
J