I wish I could just not give a Sh!t about being an XJW!

by cyberjesus 40 Replies latest jw friends

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  cyberjesus

  Well on the positive side I got my kids out And two cousins that are Dfd for other reasons now also took the red pill and one just applied for college! So I got 4 people out. This is like a freaking nightmare uh?

  Cantleave : Sorry about your Dad.. My Grandma passed away in mexico, She was like my mother. I couldnt go see her in her last days because I didnt have the money but I thought that if she died I would see her in the paradise... take that! I postponed it. Freaking brainwashed dub that I was
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  peaches

  cyberjesus,,,,,i so totally understand what you are saying....it is so completely awful...people who have not experienced it,,simply do not understand....nor can they comperhend the deep emotional agony....no words of wisdom cyberjesus,,,,i just hope that knowing that others care will ease your pain some what.....(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( cyberjesus ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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  no more kool aid

  Cyberjesus, we all get it. My husband and I have just given in to fact that we are going to be a messed up the rest of out lives. Our older kids will be a little messed up and the little ones will probably come out unscathed. So what are our choices? Had to get to kids out, you did the right thing! I have noticed some days are worse than others, this is a bad time of year because they are all on us about at least coming to the memorial. I didn't go (2nd year for me) so I am really getting the silent treatment. I hate to say this, but it is true for me, I think when the older generation is gone, it may get a little easier, I won't have anyone holding that old emotional noose around my neck anymore. In the meantime glad you are going back to school and dancing, stay positive for those kids. NMKA
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  cyberjesus

  Thanks guys. Typing and reading you does help!
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  millions now living are dead

  CyberJesus,

  I'm 4th Gen. I was only person to leave ever in my family. There was a point that I realized that I was brainwashed. This very fact really really sucks. So I told myself that I would make it a point of my life to heal ALL the damage done. To gain control of my mind. I was angry that my mind was so weak. The progression for me went this way:

  1) I read a sh*load of books. Religion, Philosophy, Science, etc. When I was done with that I...

  2) Went to a therapist and took meds for depression. When I was done with that I....

  3) Tried alternative things like Traditional Healing in South America and some New Age crap. Then I...

  4) Found something called Qigong and learned something called Internal Martial Arts from a genuinly pure teacher. It's the most fascinating thing I have ever encountered, and it works for me. I am slowly gaining control of my mind and emotions.

  What the Jehovah's Witnesses are doing is as old as dirt. It was called Black Magic in the olden days. You and your family have been fed on by a machine called the JW's. Save yourself first. Then you may be able to re-enter the Matrix and do some good. Try to be open to different things. However, realize you are in a weakened state and the vultures can sniff you out. Trust your gut.

  Mil
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  cyberjesus

  Qigong? That sounds interesting. Black Magic, Voodoo, Witchcraft, JWs... yeah pretty similar :-) But I think JWs are worst
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  Caligula1

  Anyone in Los Angeles CA (USA)

  Private message cyber Jesus your email and spot you can meet and talk, Mcdonalds is fine to have a 30 minute conversation. If more than one person responds that's even better. I don't think we need a formal meet-up all the time to get benefit from a face to face.

  cyberjesus

  It is good that you are taking affirmative steps for the depression. It is good that you are not suicidal. If those things change let us know.

  Randy Watters used to be in Lajoilla??? California. I don't know if he sees people anymore like he used to. You can try him. I'm not sure how far that is from Los Angeles. Also, I know his father was buried today in another state.......and that's one of the benefits of this board, we don't have to depend on just a few people to arrange face to face meets.

  Keep us posted.
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  Too Opinionated

  I so completely understand being in "Ex-JW Purgatory".

  A two-year plan administered by a professional would have been wonderful but I probably wouldn't have accepted the idea that I needed one. Toughed it out, and here I am, almost 10 years later, still having a hard time.

  Most therapists don't know anything about ex-jws and the repurcussions of leaving. Perhaps it would be therapeutic if ex-witnesses could be called by them for experiences, ideas, views, help, etc.
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  Caligula1

  Too Opinionated,

  I commend you for know your state.

  So what are your plans to get help? If any?
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  screwproof

  CyberJesus, its called fear. They have instilled it so very deep and so very hard inside us that we have a hard time with anything Jehovah witness. I am in the same situation right now and it is actually affecting my health. My husband told me that I have to get out and cut all ties with them so I can move on. How can I do that with all this brainwashing in my mind. They have a me so brainwashed and so indoctrinated that I have no idea how long it will be before I am free from them. I wish you all the luck in the world with freeing yourself from them and their hold. I know how hard it is.