by minimus 43 Replies latest jw friends
For me, I had doctrinal issues all along: The name Jehovah in the NT was first, later came the "thinking heart", stupid comments on evolution and age of the creative days, then the 1975 and refusal to man up to the false prophecy by the Watchtower - and, of course, I was close to the Dunlap brothers (and the Ray Franz issues) through that connection.
Plus, as I commented on Minimus' other thread about being happy after leaving - to be honest I was never really happy as a witness.
If you are a "thinker", it is IMPOSSIBLE to stay on as a JW and still believe the "truth". If you are intelligent, it is unrealistic to think you can ignore everything taught as being true.
Husband Besty made me question the 'Jesus Is Not Our Mediator' teaching. That led to www.jwfacts.com, freeminds.org and here.
So called 'friends' and 'family' reactions and subsequent actions confirmed something was terribly wrong. Elders hounding us, calling late into the night and Ray Franz's Crisis of Conscience were the last straws.
The rest is history.
This board, Freeminds and COC...
I had been inactive for years d/t severe depression, and had been thinking about returning so I could try to get married. Only thing is I didn't really want to go back. I started lurking on here, I found it when I googled for a 12 step like program for those raised in very religious closed groups.
My mind did not get free of the org until I was directed to read the study article about treasureing your place in the congregation. That helped me see that all this time I had been manipulated by the org.
Seeing the lives of friends at school and the lives of my non-JW cousins. Reading Animal Farm in school. The desire to go to college. I was in high school and I saw nothing in the future that I wanted with the JWs.
Also the hysteria leading up to 1975. I left in 1973. I didn't believe the hype. I wanted out. I thought they were all religious nut cases. I couldn't figure out how I was born into this.
MINIMUS- Although I had doubts inside of me for years about 1914 and the alleged " generation " theory- I never dared voice those doubts out loud to my JW relatives out of fear of reprisal. But in 2003 my epiphany came when I received unjust treatment and personal opinions as counsel from the elders in my congregation. The lights turned on - I picked up my books from my seat before a meeting- and walked out never to return 6 years ago.
It wasn't until 2007 when my wife joined this board that I really started doing a lot of research and reading to understand completely how I had been trapped by cult mind control. And learning that after leaving the cult - just supported that the decision I made to leave 4 years earlier was the right decision. Just gave me re-affirmation. Now - I am at peace
Doctrinal issues with "the generation" and then 607 and then the UN scandal. I always had some doubts/questions but like the good lil dubbie, I squelched them while waiting on Jehovah to brighten the light. And in some smaller ways - the constant "do more do more do more" mantra. I never felt good enough, no matter how hard I tried.
But I didn't just 'snap to' one day. It was over time. At first the generation change in 95 caused a ripple in the smooth pond. In fact I missed it at first...it was overhearing pioneers talking about it that made me go back and check it out closer. One question let to another..to another...to another. By the time I decided to research JWs on the Internet, I was already sure...but afraid...of what I'd find. Even then it took awhile to admit it to myself.
For me, it was finally getting up the courage to look up the "apostate" material online...an hour later and I was done with the whole thing.
The local library...and the internet. Yes, the internet is evil, my children. For within it, one finds that the Witnesses teach much bullshit. Books are the same...burn them! Burn them with holy fire!
That's where the first real seeds of doubt were planted with me about 15 years ago. I was never really into being a JW, because I was dragged in by my parents, particularly my mom (My dad is really lukewarm and has been for a decade or so), so I was probably more "susceptible" than some hard core Witnesses to non WTS sources of info.
