Few brothers or sisters to choose from

dgp

On the basis of two previous threads (http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/191790/2/Ugly-Sisters, and
http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/191797/1/Ugly-brothers

a question popped into my mind. What did you people feel to know that your choices of mates were limited? Didn't that make you feel that marriage was something you would settle for? Did it ever make you, or anyone near you, think that it didn't really matter who you married?

I wonder how it would feel to know that, say, you don't really like any of three potential mates in your congregation, yet you are to marry one if you want a little action. And you'd better not make a mistake because that bond is FOREVER.

Thanks for any posts.

keyser soze

The problem with JW marriages, in general, is that they require only for the pair to have the same level of zeal. There is no other standard of compatibility required. As long as both mates are serving Jehovah, they need not have anything else in common. I knew so many couples where this was the case.

serenitynow!

Keyser that is true. I really did not feel that I was "spiritual enough" to get a good brother. I had a sister once tell me that I needed to be seen in the FS more.

dissed

Yeah Keysor, commonality was almost never the concern.

Your spiritual equal? - One nutcase of a Bethel Elder told a few of us that if we are interested in someone, we should check with the PO of her congregation. Even to the point of looking at her publisher cards for a history. (is that even possible?)

As he warned us, "Some of these sisters, you can't trust. They could be acting spiritual just to get you" Like we were some sort of prize.........lol

PSacramento

Jehovah created this and then said to the JW's, "you can't have it !!"

blondie

dissed, I know a sister who checked with the PO re a brother there and he recommended him. Later she found out he had been done time as a pedophile and wife abuser....!!!!!

garyneal

This is somewhat related to a thread I started a few months ago (Are Jehovah's Witness Men Good Catches?).

I remember my wife and sister-in-law lamenting on how if they could choose the best man for themselves, it would be a JW man.

Well, my sister-in-law is living the kind of life that presently would not merit her a JW man.

As for my wife, Cest La Vid. I would actually be that JW man if the witnesses weren't so wacky in their doctrines but I cannot in good conscious become one.

Scarred for life

Yes, I felt that any "suitable males" for dating were very limited. And I knew this from a young age. Probably about 13. I felt that if I wanted to get married I better start looking for somebody right then.

Yes, I felt that if I stayed a JW I would have to "settle" for someone that fit the criteria.

Yes, there was a feeling that it didn't really matter who you married as long as he was "strong in the Truth".

This was definitely one of the factors in my decision to get the hell out as a teenager. I saw no future for myself as a JW.

LittleSister

I don't think spirituality has much to do with it in our part of the world. If you wanted a decent looking JW husband you needed to be thin, pretty and giggle insanely plus never let slip that you had a mind of your own.

I often felt I was living in the world of Pride and Prejudice only there were no Mr Darcy's. I saw plenty of Charlotte Lucus's and Mr Coliins's though. For non Jane Austin fans these are women who would marry whoever asked them no matter how awful and had to make the best of it and obnoxious stupid men who felt they were in a buys market and that any sister was theirs for the asking.

bluecanary

If you wanted a decent looking JW husband you needed to be thin, pretty and giggle insanely plus never let slip that you had a mind of your own.

True dat. In fact, true everything in LittleSister's post. It was definitely a man's market. Girls in the areas I lived in usually outnumbered guys at least 3-1. Sometimes there were no young men in a congregation. Very often gorgeous 20 year old girls would marry gristly 40 year old men. The whole dating scene in the JWs made me . Overweight JW women can forget about marrying (and cry while nice-looking, decent worldly men ask for their phone numbers).

Few brothers or sisters to choose from

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