If someone is benefitting from being in a cult, should we leave them there? (page 3)

THE GLADIATOR

You are being too generous.

A person may "clean up his life" by means of the JW's. But most likely the changes will be temporary. JW's have no maintenance program built into their system. That person is working toward a goal usually baptism. The person is flooded with love and support in his effort to clean up. Once he is baptized, all that love and support vanishes, he is all on his own. If he slips up, they kick him out, and here you have a relapsing addict with nowhere to turn.

So, I say, no, there really is no "benefit" to being in a cult, for any reason.

Michelle365

Very valid point Amber Rose. I agree. It's so hard to sit back and watch friends & family toil for this "religion" though. Some days I just want to BLAST them with info to get them out, but I know they are likely to flat out reject it.

mindmelda

I suppose you're speaking of forcible deprogramming from a cult, and well...only if a person's life is in danger, they're being sexually exploited or they're being encouraged to commit crimes would I want to be doing that.

dgp

Confuzzled, I think I know where you are coming from. I felt the same way sometime ago.

For your reference, I just can't resist typing here one of the opening paragraphs of Crisis of Conscience. Which, by the way, is a quote from a well-known magazine.

When persons are in great danger from a source that they do not suspect or are being misled by those they consider their friends, is it an unkindness to warn them? They may prefer not to believe the warning. They may even resent it. But, does that free one from the moral responsibility to give that warning?

The Watchtower, January 15, 1974.

I started this thread on the same issue:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/adult/186933/1/Whats-wrong-with-being-a-Jehovahs-witness

LeavingWT started this thread, on the basis of what people said about my own post:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/186964/1/To-Ex-JWs-Do-You-Regret-Learning-it-Was-a-Lie

This is a difficult thing to determine. Maybe it's best if they determine that by themselves. The problem is, they don't have the information, or they don't believe it, or they have reasons not to act on it. That, you can't know. And then, there's the selfish motivation of not losing the person you reveal the truth to. They can indeed resent what you tell them. If you're devoid of tact, you can spoil the person's chances to leave.

I don't know what it is like to be a Jehovah's witness. Nor will I ever know, thanks to the people who didn't hesitate to warn what would happen to me. They weren't addressing me personally, because they don't even know who I am and couldn't have imagined I existed. I thank them all the same.

I do know that I used to be terribly afraid of Hell. You know, Armageddon is really nothing compared to Catholic Hell. Jehovah will simply destroy you, while God Almighty will see to it that you suffer forever. Well, I am free of that belief now. I know that I will cease to exist when I die. There's no one to pray to if I were to be horribly sick, or maimed, or whatever. There's no loving guy above me checking that nothing will go wrong. However, that feels like freedom to me, and that's because I don't feel I would ever prefer a lie over the truth.

GoingGoingGone

Terry, I agree with what you wrote, except that I believe that even "genetic followers" can learn to think.

They have to be coaxed out of their safe place slowly, because moving too fast will send them scurrying back into their familiar world where everything is already decided for them. They have to be helped to understand that there is more than one way way to view any given subject, and that their way is ok. Really, it's ok. It's ok to have an opinion, it's ok to not agree with me, the world won't fall apart. No really, it won't.

It's an exhausting process, but if you're an exJW married to someone like this, I think it's worth trying.

Kids reaching their teens seem to be more willing to embrace the world, warts and all. Older people who have been JWs forever, on the other hand, may find the whole process of leaving too much to bear - even the "thinkers" among them.

GGG

Gayle

No one "benefits from being in a cult." Period. Did some quit smoking, quit drugs, quit being drunkards? Fine. They as an individual made a personal decision - no one other than the individual can do that. Thousands of people never in cults are making that decision world over also. But some in so doing change their addiction to the addiction of "self-righteousness." "Self-righteousness" is the worse sin. Just because they gave up a bad destructive habit doesn't make them better than 99% of the world now.

We leave them there in the cult. No one could have talked me out of it. Life and reality and time should get ones to re-think about that organization, its unloving ways, its double talk, its empty promises, its burdensome and suppressing demands, its unproductive works. I will always be happy to hear from someone there that is out or coming out. I have no desire to speak with anyone still there after all this time, thinking (?) they are happy with it.

My sister just heard through Facebook from a friend we knew way back in the '60s. She is married with husband and grown children, grandchildren and a sibling who have left JWs, but she hasn't. She is still satisfied and finds comfort with JWdom. How can anyone find comfort in a religion teaching that all her loved ones will be destroyed at Armageddon since they left JWs? I don't get it.

straightshooter

Sad to say that some are better off in the cult. They are happy and secure within that social network. They feel that what they do in the cong and the ministry is of value. They have a purpose. They also have a hope of living forever that comforts them through their physical aging.

Though they are being "used" by the cult, they have no idea of it. Nor do I think that many of them will ever want to see the cult as wrong.

Scully

Sure, why not? Let's all just exchange one form of insanity/addiction for another one, instead of actually improving ourselves.

dgp

Let's see this from a different angle. Say you're a JW. You have a worldly associate or whatever, someone who's not in and knows what kind of a trap you're in, and this person doesn't say a word. Say ten years later your eyes pop open, and this person tells you that he always knew the truth but never wanted to share it with you. I bet many a person would feel that they should have been given the chance to know the truth, and many a person would feel robbed of many precious years of existence. Some others would understand, yes. But more than one would regret the years spent in the dark.

If someone is benefitting from being in a cult, should we leave them there?

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