Are you so faded that Actives no longer encourage but respect you?

Wasanelder Once

I know it sounds strange but all the JW's I have contact with are no longer "encouraging" me to attend meetings. In fact not one of them invited me to the memorial even though we had dinner together at my house three nights before. I think I have them totally bamboozled with my reasoning why I don't attend. You know, the whole "I just think I'll wait till certain problems are fixed in the local congregation before I put myself back in that pot" sort of reasoning. This is pretty rare I suspect, or is it? How about any of you? I'm faded and not DF'd or DA'd. You? W.Once

LittleSister

We are in a similar situation not DF'd or DA'd, I think the JW friends we still have don't want to lose us as friends so they just don't talk religion with us anymore. This way they won’t hear anything they would have to report to the Borg and can still talk to us.

chickpea

that is precisely my circumstance

totally faded, missed 3 memorials, can hardly recall names
and yet i have been greeted and hugged in public venues
without a single "we miss you" blah blah...

granted i have not been invited to dinner, but in spite
of a very public profile as an advocate for LGBTQ, there
are some who go out of their way to be decent sorts,
along with the righteous over-much shunning by the
very ones whose company would drive me to suicide
in paradise

daniel-p

Interesting. Yes, I think I'm at that point. There is a point where you are no longer necessarily considered "spiritually weak" and you are given a degree of defference.

Scarred for life

I'm so faded that I don't care what any JW thinks.

Scully

I didn't try to keep any JW friends, so they don't bother me with Encouragement™, and I don't really give a rat's @$$ if they respect me or not.

AudeSapere

There is a point where you are no longer necessarily considered "spiritually weak" and you are given a degree of defference.

I think that point comes when you've already spoken you mind and asked the questions that they can't answer and enough time has passed that they realize that you have turned into a drug addict, you didn't start your own church, your life is actually better than before and you LOOK good and appear happy.

All that's left is acceptance that you know what you are doing - and it's actually working for you!

-Aude.

ldrnomo

It's been 3 years for us and no one bothers us about meetings. In fact no one even bothers us at all. It's nice.

LD

purplesofa

I just got this from a JW I reconnected with on facebook.

This is what I wrote him:

XXXXX, I don't know if I told you plainly, but I really am not a JW any longer, I no longer go to meetings and I have no desire anymore to be with organized religions.

I don't know how you will feel knowing this but i just wanted to tell you.

purps His response: Tis ok..purps I knew that. but thanks for thinking of me and being up front about it. I respect your choice, and so long as YOUR happy, isn't that what it's all about. I remember " purps" the person, and that's what draws me and keeps me interested.

edited to add:

This is what I wrote him in response

thanks, that means alot,
you can understand I have lost lots of JW friends.

As time has gone by I have become happier with my decision.

I miss many things about my association with JW's and the organization but I would not trade it for my life as it is now.

I wish we could go through our journey in life and not loose friendships but it's not possible once a JW to leave and continue
with those friendships, and I do miss them terribly.
I find that few people actually get to know the person
and friendships become to conditional.

Thanks for the friendship,
it means allot to me.

HappyDad

It's been ten years since I left. The last meeting I went to was Memorial 2003 out of a little guilt that crept in. Since then I've only run into three JW's from my old KH. The one female was a complete idiot. The other two (husband and wife) talked real nice about their kids and mine. No mention of all about JWism. I think they refrained because their daughter left the BS several years ago. She should be in her mid twenties now.

But there is one female who sends a letter about twice a year trying to "encourage" me. GAG GAG! She always talks about how her late husband and I were such good friends. I couldn't stand her husband. He didn't have all his marbles and always wanted to go in FS with me. I found a lot of excuses not to.

Today, if I would ever run into anyone, they would know without a doubt that I would never set foot in a KH again.

HappyDad

Are you so faded that Actives no longer encourage but respect you?

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