Are you so faded that Actives no longer encourage but respect you? (page 2)

HappyDad

I forgot to add! I got rid of my house a little over a year ago and am living in a townhouse apartment. None of them has ever tried to look me up. I'm sure if they wanted to, all they have to do is look in the phone book for my address.

HappyDad

undercover

My JW family occasionally tries to guilt me back, but the JW acquaintances that I see seem to be over my leaving...at least to the point that they don't see the need to try to 'encourage' me or anything.

But on the other hand...they don't really associate with me anymore either. I see a few through work contacts, through extended family and some live in the neighborhood but I don't socialize with them. I'm pretty much forgotten.

Some dubs that we were pretty close to had a daughter get married not long ago. I didn't know anything about it until the Memorial (the one meeting I will attend to appease family), when someone else told us about it. A small part of me was a little bitty bit upset that our so-called 'friends' didn't let us know, but after the initial disappointment I realized that this was actually a good thing...my fade was working so well that we weren't even an afterthought when it came to our one time friends joyous occasion.

Poztate

Respect..No Ignore ...yes But I am happy that way

Found Sheep

oh i get the shunning, the happy to see you don't talk about religion, and then the sad look missing you conversations.... but have not ever been asked to come back!!! I honestly don't think they want me back!!! and i am a ok with that!

OnTheWayOut

I'm not sure which of these comments already posted fits me better:

Scarred for Life: I'm so faded that I don't care what any JW thinks.

or

Scully: I didn't try to keep any JW friends, so they don't bother me with Encouragement™

I guess it's the first one because I have kept a friendship with the JW person who was considered my best friend. He used to encourage me and promised he would always be a good friend. After the encouragement died down, he admitted that he needs to be "on guard" about association. He said he would always be there for me if I needed him, but he rarely calls. Basically, I kept him as a friend who would (conditionally) always be there for me. After mostly losing him, I don't care what any JW thinks.

Quillsky

I think they envy my freedom a bit, even if it's a bit subliminal.

Palimpsest

This was my case until very recently. The only people who continued to nag me were within my family, but with the build-up to the Memorial this year, I started getting "shepherded" a bit by the elders (I even got a few CO voicemails). I haven't been to any type of meeting since the 2005 Memorial, so it's a bit odd. I'm avoiding them, though. :)

I think that, like others here, most of my old friends have given up on me. I was pretty public about pursuing higher education and cocurricular activities -- I kept ending up in the local papers for various accomplishments -- so I think everyone figured out that I wasn't coming back. There's this little part of me that really wants someone to reach out, other than the dreaded elders that are after me, because I'd like to know that I haven't been forgotten. But the rational 99% of my mind knows that a) those people never truly loved me anyway and b) I really love my life now and want to be left alone.

minimus

I don't think active JWs "respect" those who leave "The Truth".

cult classic

Wasanelder,

Yeah that seems to be the case with us. We left abruptly and without reservation. We were popular in our area and as word spread that we were no longer going, we just expected a barage of phone calls, visits, letters, etc...........Nothing so far (it's been a few years). We can only speculate that because of how "strong" we were in the truth that the witnesses figure we must really be done with it all.

I guess that's respect.....

Cult Classic

jwfacts

Even though I am not faded but d/f I still have contact with a number of JW's. They all steer as far away as possible from JW issues and no one ever asks if I am returning. I feel respected.

"I just think I'll wait till certain problems are fixed in the local congregation before I put myself back in that pot"

That is a fantastic excuse, as it really avoids any chance of them disfellowshipping you for apostasy. It makes you appear stumbled, which puts them in the bad position.

Are you so faded that Actives no longer encourage but respect you?

Share this