"Petrified" might be an overstatement, but I felt it. I started to think for myself and eventually felt free to examine the writings of historians and scholars and theologians at the library. But I was paranoid and kept no permanent notes on what I learned, and I resisted for a couple more years to look at so-called "apostate" information.
Finally, one day I realized that I google everything else- travel, research, trivia, etc. I should simply google Jehovah's Witnesses. Once I read some stuff at freeminds and jwfacts, I knew it was right to keep reading it.