My tale of woe

serenitynow!

Hi. I guess i should tell my story. I'm a born in. both parents are jw, they did the pioneer serve where the need is great thing. Father was an elder mom was a housewife.Neither went to college, father was a window washer. We were very poor, no insurance only have memories of going to a clinic a handful of times for immunizations, no other medical care. Father left the family, was having an affair with some pioneer tramp. He wouldnt pay child support, and things got even worse financially. He totally abandoned us, we did not even have a phone number for him. my mom had to in to work with no degree, no help and mental illness (undiagnosed) Dad resurfaced years later, not disfellowshipped, still no interest in seeing his children. meanwhile mom lost the house and got buried in debt. I've had depression since childhood and am on meds. I have had difficulty getting the brothers in my fathers hall to take his abandonment seriously. Also wrote new york about it, no response.

Lozhasleft

Thats a sad story ...big hugs to you..illustrates more casualties from following the org's advice....how sad for your mum to have to deal with all that too..are you all still witnesses?

Loz x

wobble

Depending on your position, as regards being DF'd or Da.d, and depending on what you want to achieve, I would threaten to tell the whole sorry story to the local Press where your Dad lives, the Elders will jump then.

I know some bleeding heart liberal types will tell you revenge is not good for you, but it will give you some kind of closure to know that the As***le is not getting off scot free.

All the best to you,

Wobble

cantleave

Serenity - what a dreadful story. I hope you can find support here.

MMXIV

I'm very sorry you have had to go through this. Very hard for your mum but tougher on kids because that's your start in life. I'm still amazed that being respectable and loving at the KH is considered far more important than what goes on behind closed doors in the family. Whitewashed graves springs to mind.

It doesn't sound like any possible outcome can compensate for what you have had to go through so don't be disappointed if you get continued lack of justice. There can be no real justice in this case.

best of luck

MMXIV

peaches

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( serenity now ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

AK - Jeff

So sorry. Another story showing the importance of 'putting Kingdom interests first', eh? Jw's are so blinded by this concept that they ignore important life governing principles [like raising your children in a responsible manner] without a thought.

Welcome. Thanx for sharing. Lean on us.

Jeff

James_Slash

So sorry to hear this story, but just another typical example of what mentality exists in the org.

If you are well liked, going to the meetings, putting hours in on field service then as far as the Elders are concerned then you are an 'asset' and deserving of praise - regardless if your conduct on the outside of the KH is questionable.

I wouldn't expect any justice from the Bethel.Without going into detail, but my Mother (still an active JW) wrote to them regarding a serious issue regarding slander and lying which was committed by a 'sister' in good standing. Instead of dealing with the issue in hand, they proceeded to tell my Mother that instead of focussing on what had happened, she needed to concentrate on improving her own spirituality and spending more time in prayer and service.

You have to remember that they are striving by all accounts to protect the name of the religion so they are not interested in peoples domestic problems. That may sound harsh, but that is the reality - especially if you have now left the org - as far as they are concerned you are a liar with an axe to grind, and that your Dad is an 'upstanding' member of the congregation.

serenitynow!

Thanks to all for responding. I have been inactive for years, but was bothered by my father's good standing in the congregation while making no attempt to repent by trying to make up for his mistakes with his children. I still believed in the org when I wrote the letter, so my expectations were different. Since becoming aware of what the religion really is, I am no longer confused as to why they don't want to discipline my father. At this point I feel like I can let the matter rest. The letter accomplished a few things I wanted to do- make my father aware of my feelings about what he did to us, and expose him to the BOE and org. When I still believed, I said "well I have not given the society the chance to make this right" so I wanted to make sure that they knew. Even though the letter was not a public one, like in the paper, it was several pages long, with alot of my raw feelings and horrible memories, it took me weeks to write and was emotionally draining. Anyone reading the letter knows this is not a good man. I made sure to emphasize that "even" by worldly standards, he is not a good person.

I'm not DF'd or DA'd so I will not be doing anything public, although I am tempted to take some danger tracts I read about and leave them in places if I am coerced to go to the DC. I am very angry with the org, and if hounded, i.e. threatened with JC, will DA, but I would prefer not to because I may lose extended family. I may lose them anyway, as I have not yet told them what I have discovered (that it's a cult), that I didn't go to the Memorial, and don't want to go to another meeting anyway. I will play it by ear. My mother and sister know. My sister shares alot of my feelings about the org, and respects my decisions, and will stick by me. My mom is unhappy with my decisions, preaches at me whenever possible, and calls me ignorant and stupid for not wanting to read the bible, and/or believe in god- yes, I dropped that bombshell on her recently. My mom will however associate with me anyway.

At this point I just want to build a life for myself, basically starting from scratch. I am very happy to have found this site, I have learned many valuable things.

White Dove

Does he owe for back child support? You can turn him in for being a deadbeat parent. The state would probably love to get their hands on him.

My tale of woe

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