Serenity,
You are not alone!!!! I'm a little older than you are (42), but are stories are VERY similar. Only I was an elder.
I will drop you a PM so I don't write too much here....but just know that you're not alone. I too feel completely lost.....with waves of rage. I got a call yesterday that the third MS I've known killed himself. This is the third brother in the last year or two that has done this.
There is no justice in the organization.....its all about protecting their assets, etc. I'm so sorry you endured that........I too had a negligent father ...only now am I realizing the repurcussions....