Top 10 Ways to Offend a Jehovah's Witness

by JimmyPage 36 Replies latest jw friends

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  Girlie

  When the time comes for singing one of the KM Melodies, in your loudest singing voice, start singing My Eye Is On The Sparrow.

  When passing out a WT and/or A at your door, simultaneously hand them a porno mag.

  During a dull public talk, when the brother trys to make a pivotal point and pauses for dramatic effect, do like they do in the churches and either yell, "Amen" or "Preach it, my brother!"

  If a JW sneezes, say "God bless you."

  When JW have their boring talent show night, bring your 8 ft. or higher poll with you and enlighten them with your talent for poll dancing.
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  four candles

  Never mind answering the door in undies,answer it naked after shouting 'I have a huge erection'.

  Streak around the hall on a Sunday.

  Invite all the hot sister sto the naturist day out.

  Have you noticed all mine involve nudity.....not sex......just nudity!!!
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  OnTheWayOut

  Tell them you'd love a home bible study...with that hot chick that came last time with the magazines. Works even better if you're a woman.

  That's great. "Tell her to wear that same tight skirt and sweater."
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  blondie

  Never mind answering the door in undies,answer it naked after shouting 'I have a huge erection'.

  JW sister: I've seen better today. That's nothing to shout about.
• 

  JimmyPage

  Give a Witness a statue of Buddha for their birthday.
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  maputo95

  JIMMY PAGE !!!! YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!
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  aquagirl

  Went to this years memorial,slightly baked.The speaker said something that wasnt even close to humorous but the whole congregation laughed a polite lil' chuckle.I roared,chokeing as if it were the funniest thing Id ever heard.Even the speaker stopped and stared at me for a sec..Later,a friend who was there,told e that he almost bit a hole clean thru his lip trying not to laugh at me..I heard,thru the infamous grapevine,that the speaker was offended..heheheheheheh..
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  Champion

  Show Love & tell them you won't partake in GOSSIP!
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  DT

  Hold you wife's hand during a prayer.

  Don't take notes at an assembly, but take notes at your judicial committee.

  Say something nice about the deceased at a JW funeral that is unrelated to "theocratic" activity.

  Cry at a JW funeral.

  Refer to your anniversary as the birthday of your marriage.

  Say forgive me fathers, for I have sinned, at your judicial committee.
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  dgp

  Marked.