by gutted 122 Replies latest jw experiences
P.S I just want to warn you that the vast majority of people on this board are atheist so after they finish love bombing you they'll start their normal routine of bible bashing and trying to convert you into an atheist. They like to take advantage of people like you who just found out the watchtower is false and try to use that to convince you the Bible is false.
Gutted......I forgot to warn you, some people will try to convert you into being an asshole.
Think About It
True that Think
Gutted......I forgot to warn you, some people will try to convert you into being an asshole.
LOL, duly noted.
So missed the meeting today to do some actual reading, feels odd.
Gutted ... a few months ago I was where you are at right now, so, I'm not much further ahead and am still experiencing confusion and anxiety about what to do next. My first few nights were sleepless, and I still wake up each morning wondering what to do next. It is literally like scales have fallen from my eyes and when I read the Bible and go to meetings I see things that I never saw before. As others have said, be careful what you say, don't think that everyone you know is going to want to know these things too, cuz they don't. I'm still trying to figure things out so can't offer much advice, just know that you aren't alone. I hope all goes well for you.
I agree wannabefree. Looking at my percpective just a day or two ago I would think the new information I have gained, without fully digesting or reading it, would make me an apostate, evil. Therefore there is no use to try to tell such things to friends or family, as it would only be a device used to push them further away due to the grasp of the WT.
The great thing is this information is readily available on the internet, and I hope and know more people will access it.
I remember the first meeting I missed on purpose with the intention of quitting. It was surreal. I dropped Egg (my daughter) off at the hall as she still wanted to be with her friends and then went to Michael's Crafts store and did some shopping.
I did something NORMAL! Something others do: SHOP! It was such a liberating experience to be normal for the first time in my life.
Gutted, take courage! Their are many people on this website who have and are still going through exactly what you have been experiencing. You might feel hopeless, and trapped, and very uncertain in different ways, which is completely normal leaving the JW's. What you're going through will indeed be a process, but the learning never stops. The JW is a CULT, and it has ALOT of different tactics to control people. Like a previous post mentioned, fear and guilt are are among the top tactics they use to control it's members.
Iv'e been a born and raised a JW for 20 years of my life. Iv'e been baptized and have even pioneered. Im now approaching my 24th Birthday. My whole family are still deeply involved. I even have family members who are still in Bethel. They are ALWAYS pressuring me to go back to the "truth". I left for the same reason you did, because I found out ALOT of different stuff that were hidden from me while being inside the organization. Lies, unconditional love, favortism, but most of all, they misinterpret the bible in MANY ways. Basically, I found out it's not the "truth".
The first couple years I left I had no emotional support (which you will need), because I really had no close friends in the "world". It was heart breaking to see my family and friends fade away and lose contact with me the way they did. I felt like I was on the losing end, but I only felt that way for so long mind you. Iv'e felt so seperate from the "world" my whole life, it was truly hard for my mind to adapt now that I lived in the "world". It's really a complete mind F***, excuse the language. It's gonna take some time for your mind to be "re-wired", so to speak. But it's 100% worth it, trust me.
It's only when you leave that CULT, you realize how truly unnatural and destructive it is. It's like comming out of the dark to see the light, but while your in that gloomy darkness, you can't see anything. Your mind is basically wired a certain way to think. JW's don't even realize this very real truth. That's the beauty of mind control at it's finest.
Iv'e read Crisis of Conscience and that's a very good read with alot of insight regarding to what happens behind closed doors of the WTBTS. You'll need to do much research on a consistent basis regarding the history of JW's, and alot of other valuable information the WTBTS wants to hide from you. You know, their's a reason why they say in the organization "their is nothing out there in the world". Those are the same kind of people who say they have "left" or know somebody who "left" "the truth" at a previous point in time, but they never really "left". Like the saying goes, "you can sign out but you can never leave". That's true to an extent for alot of people who leave. I know people who left years ago and still honestly beleive it's "the TRUTH." They never changed their mindset, technically, they are still living in it. That's a very bad position to find yourself in and you definetely don't want that.
It's your choice. My advice is to do "the drift". Which basically is to walk away and not be Disfellowshipped (or what they call it now "Disassociated"?). That way you may be able to say a simple hello to friends, but more importantly, keep in touch with your family. That's what I did. Actually, I had to move away from where I was living to get away from them, but it was well worth it.
Now that im fully out of the JW organization, iv'e discovered many truths about the Bible. Im a born again Christian. My faith and hope rely on Jesus Christ now instead of a human organization. Jesus is the truth and the light, certainly not the WTBTS. We live in the AGE OF GRACE, and are not under the law of the covenant like they lived before Jesus came to the earth. JW's really do miss the point when it comes to Jesus, and it's very sad. No wonder their are so many mentally unfit people in that, because doing good is never enough. We ALL sin and fall short of Gods glory, we need to rely on FAITH my friend. Certainly the law is still important, but faith establishes the law. Read Romans 3:27-31. Maybe you don't want to read anything regarding the Bible after you leave. And I don't blame you. I became an atheist.
If I can leave, YOU can leave. If you EVER want to contact me you can, because Iv'e been in your shoes. Ill pray for you and I hope for all the best!
God Bless!
Hi Gutted. Welcome to the forum.
How does one go about study of the Bible free from religious pretext and tradition, but still keeping with the principles and ideals of love, justice etc? Is it a scholarly study of the Bible or simply a self-study reading?
Elswhere said it well a few days ago. Read it like you have just found the only copy in existance.
That way you only have your knowledge of grammar, physics, common sense, etc. to guide you. I would recomment that you sharpen your skills in the art of critical thinking before you start. Edward de Bono's books should be in your local library and would be a big help. I found his Teach Your Child How to Think to be a quick and easy read and very suitable for adults as well.
It is very easy to blow your top when you first find out you were ripped off. If you want to fade, keep your big mouth shut and don't do anything different until you have a plan. By the time most of us get here we have already alienated our familys and our chances of having a civil discussion with them is greatly diminished.
If you want to take any family members out with you, you need to know how to discuss their religion without setting off their Apostate alarms. It isn't easy. One false move and they run for the hills. The top thing you must not do is tell them something they don't want to hear and you don't have the paperwork to prove.
For now.....
....just breath and read
Cheers
Chris (Born in, unbaptised)
Welcome!
Required Reading:
Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan
http://www.amazon.com/Combatting-Cult-Mind-Control-Best-selling/dp/0892813113/
Gutted,
Welcome to the board! I also had many sleepless nights and missed several days of work because when I "woke up", it almost stopped me in my tracks. The thing is, something ALWAYS felt wrong. Then one day I stumbled upon a youtube video. The next day I went and watched more. Once the googling started...it was over...and I eventually landed on this board.
Also, as others have recommended, be very careful with whom you share your doubts. I had a couple of "friends" that were coasters and we joked about the "truth". They saw me transition from a zealous pioneer to someone that couldn't tell you the name of the CO. Yet, things continued as if nothing had happened. I attended several festivies celebrating our new President...nothing. I bought my dad birthday and father's day presents...nothing. However, once I vocalized my doubts they dropped me like a hot potato out of fear that I would pull them out of the organization.
Hopefully, your mom will think you are just going through a phase and will not ask the elders to "shepherd" you. In regards to your sister and her relationship with your mom...no guarantees that yours will be the same as your sister was not baptized. In the eyes of JWs, that makes a big difference.
Even though its been said, take a breath...slowly exhale...repeat. The journey is different for everyone and I wish you a peaceful one. Welcome to freedom.
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