Post Resurection for the bored Fundies

by unclebruce 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    The times in which Jesus lived are well documented. We know a lot about the historical context of the world in which he lived. This knowledge is not a matter of personal belief but of historical fact. If a man or woman permits his personal belief to distort, alter or transform historical fact, he cannot expect others, whether or not they share his belief, to condone the process. The same principle applies if a man permits his personal belief to derange dramatically the laws of nature. I find it hard to challenge claims of Jesus divinity or that he dwells within some of you folk. However when you claim Jesus was unique in his imaculate conception, life and resurrection or that he flies a white horse with Russell, Rutherford and others at his side or that he dresses as a white bunny delivering chocolate eggs at Easter time, forgive me if my eyes begin to roll.

    The story of the resurrection and ascention of Christ Jesus is related by the four Gospel narrators, and is to the effect that, after being crucified, his body was wrapped in a linen cloth, laid in a tomb, and a "great stone" rolled to the door. The tomb (sepulchre) was then made sure by "sealing the stone" and "setting a watch."

    On the first day of the week some of Jesus' followers came to see the tomb, when they found that in spite of the "sealing" and the "watch," the angel of the Lord had decended from heaven, rolled back the stone from the door, and that "Jesus had risen from the dead."

    The story of his ascension is told by the Mark narrator, who says "he was recieved up into heaven, and sat at the right hand of God;" by Luke who says "he was carried up into heaven;" and by the writer of Acts who says" he was taken up to heaven and a cloud recieved him out of sight." Matthew 28, Mark 16 +19, Luke 24, John 20 and Acts 1.

    Funny thing about resurrections and ascensions - they were very common in ancient times, long before the world heard of Jesus the Christ, Gods were being raised and taken to heaven. In fact it was a prerequisite to Messiahship. Saviour status dictated that Jesus just had to be resurrected, Paul was fully aware of this and made it so. The following are a few examples of how the "Christian" resurrection doctrine is of pagan origin:

    Crishna: Crucified Hindu Saviour, rose from the dead and ascended bodily into heaven. At that time a great light enveloped the earth and illuminated the whole expance of Heaven. Attended by celestial spirits and luminous as on that night when he was born in the house of Vasudeva, Crisna pursued, by his own light, the journey between earth and heaven, to the bright paradise from whence he had ascended. All men saw him, and exclaimed "Lo, Cristna's soul ascends its native skies!"

    Buddha: When he died there were tears and much lamenting in heaven. An order rang out from the supreme being: "RISE HOLY LOVE!", the heavens echoed it back and "hells great dread and heavens eternal admiration" was restored to life. The coverings of his body unrolled themselves and the heavy lid of his coffin was lifted by supernatural powers. He then, mission acomplished on earth, ascended to the heavens. (as far as I know he's still there)

    Lao-Kiun: Born of a virgin (like Cristna and Buddah) he who has existed from all eternity, when his mission of benevolence was completed on earth, ascended bodily into the paradise above. After that he was worshipped as a God and splendid temples erected to his memory. (I am thinking of making a large erection for Farkels worship but I want to see him sprout wings and fly first)

    Zoroaster: Founder of the religion of the ancient Persians, who was consideredd a divine messenger sent to redeem men from their evil ways" ascended to heaven at the end of his earthly career. Ah "the immortal Zoroaster - living star."

    AEsculapius: Son of God, the Saviour, after being put to death, rose from the dead.

    Adonis/Tammuz: The Saviour - after being put to death, rose from the dead. These rites of Tammuz or adonis were recorded by Julius Firmicius during the reign of Constantine:

    "Trust ye saints, your God restored.
    Trust ye in your risen Lord;
    For the pains which he endured
    Our salvation have procured."

    The Syrians and Egyptians celebrated the resurrection of Adonis in early spring. after laments, his resurrection was celebrated with joy and festivities. It is significant that this was a tradition at Alexandria - the cradle of Christianity - in the time of St.Cyril, Bishop of Alexandria (412AD) and at Antioch - the ancient capitol of the Greek kings of Syria - even as late as the time of Emperor Julian (361-363AD), whose arrival there during the solemnity of the festival was taken as an ill omen. Examine the evidence yourself and you'll see it is conclusive: the celebration in honour of the resurrection of Adonis came to be known as a Christian festival. The ceremonies held in Roman Catholic countries on Good Friday and Easter Sunday are nothing more than the festival of the death and resurrection of Adonis. Several of the Psalms of David were part of the liturgical service employed in the worship of Tammuz. Psalm 110 is an account of the friendly alliance of Jehovah and Adonis. Ezekial 8:14 speaks of the Israelite women bewailing the death of Tammuz in the Temple court.

    Osiris: Bore the title "The Resurrected One" after being put to death and rising up from it. Professor Mahaffy, lecturer on ancient history in the University of Dublin observed that: "The resurrection and reign over an eternal kingdom, by an incarnate mediating deity born of a virgin was a theological conception which pervaded the oldest religion in Egypt"

    Men preached Osiris as the resurrected saviour at least 3,000 years before that dark night the spirit of God entered into Mary.

    Horus: Son of the virgin Isis. Experienced death, great mourning and resurrection after three days - just like Buddha and Osiris and many others.

    Atys: Phrygian Saviour, was put to death and rose again. As Iggy says "you can't keep a good man down!" He rose of the 25th of March (just in time for easter bunny)

    Mithras: Persian Saviour and mediator between God and man. Was believed by the people of Persia, Asia Minor and Armenia (and Paul?) to have been put to death and to have risen again from the dead. On March 25, during a ceremony the Mithrian priest criedd out: "Rejoice, Oh sacred Initiated, your God is risen. His death, his pains, his sufferings have worked our salvation."

    Baccus: Saviour, son of the virgin Semele, usual story - put to death, rose from the dead. Having bought solace to the misfortunes of mankind he, after resurrection, ascended to heaven.

    Hercules: My favorite saviour, the son of Zeus by a mortal mother was put to death but arose from his funeral bonfire and ascended into heaven in a cloud amid great clapping of thunder.

    Memmon: Is put to death but rises again to life and immortality. His mother Eos weeps tears at his death - just as Mary wept for Jesus.

    Amphiaraus: One of the greeks most celebrated prophets and demi-gods, believed to have raised from the dead. Like many others you can visit the place of his resurrection.

    Baldur: Scandinavian Lord and Saviour, put to death by rose to immortality.

    Sir Frey HALL: Another Scandinavian God. Died but sightings and rumours of his resurrection are comming in from all over the world. (unconfirmed sightings and imitations prolificate - worshipped by some, feared by others)

    Quetzalcoatle: Mexican crucified Saviour - you'll never guess what happened to him! - he was put to death and ... wait for it ... he rose up from the dead.

    A question for Christians: "Why, outside the Paul influenced Gospels, isn't the resurrection mentioned by those said to have met the risen Christ? We have the writings of Peter, James, John and Jude all of whom are said by the Gospel writers to have seen Jesus after he rose from the dead but they fail to make any reference or mention of it in their epistles. The fact is, many of the earliest Christian sects denied the resurrection of Christ Jesus but taught that he will rise in a general resurection. No representation of the resurrection of the Christians' Saviour has yet been found amoungst the momuments of early Christianity. The earliest is an ivory carving from the 5th century!

    If someone tries to tell you that Jesus resurrection or anything else about his life as described in the bible is any way unique just shug and say "wow, when I grow up I wanna be just like you - blind faithful and fundy to the max!"

    cheers, unclebruce.

    ***This post is resurected at the special request of Shelby, YouKnow, Rex and several others. (i'd love to hear what 'normal' christians think, not just the jesus freaks and biblenuts who always seem to disappear when i post historical)

  • libra_spirit
    libra_spirit

    Bravo, uncle bruce!
    I love it!
    I knew of a couple of them, I knew that the Greeks had a story of the virgin birth, but not that it was so previlent with others as well.
    Maybe the question isn't which one is true, maybe the question is why do we need to have these beliefs. What does it accomplish for humans to have beliefs like these.
    The Christian faith acomplished one thing very well. It gave the Jews a way to shed thier guilt without having to continually slaughter animals for thier sins anymore. It gave people the ability to feel acceptable and loved even though they are not perfect.
    It has never been clear to me why God would demand that his perfect Son be killed to attone for our sins. The Christian God is a God of human sacrifice, but at least it states that only one was needed for all time, putting an end to human and animal sacrifice, a definite evolutionary and social jump upwards toward freedom.
    Compaired to what was done before this I see it as an improvement to the human condition.
    Maybe the evolution of Religion is not really for Gods purpose but is truly for ours. As God already knows all things and is all powerfull why would he need us to worship him at all? I do not believe that God needs any vengence at all, who could ever hurt him, he has nothing to fear. Only man has fear, so man needs these beliefs to conquer his fear and get to a place of love.

  • cellomould
    cellomould
    This post is resurected at the special request of Shelby, YK, Rex and several others.

    was this a request in writing? did they all sign it?

    or did you anticipate such a request?

    [:-)]

    awesome post unclebruce!

    I especially liked the part about the epistles not containing written testimony. Is this really true? I thought I recall Peter... I really don't remember... something like 'we preach Christ resurrected'... I guess it must have been Paul!

    Hey, do you ever read the apocryphal books? Those are quite interesting...

    Actually they are proof against the bible's inspiration, since it demonstrates a process of weeding out the bullshit. What's left is horseshit. he he he

    Jude alludes to something outside the bible in his 'Jesus disputing with Satan over Moses' body' comment. There is no such account ANYwhere in the bible. What do you know about this? I would like to find where in the Apocrypha this might be.

    cellomould

    "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

  • zerubberballs
    zerubberballs

    G'day libra_spirit,

    Maybe the question isn't which one is true, maybe the question is why do we need to have these beliefs. What does it accomplish for humans to have beliefs like these.
    I believe it fills a basic human void. I posted a full article the other day on this titled: "Rex's road to Armageddon?")

    Also it is used by those in power to stay on top of the masses. Paraphrasing a poster called trevor who once was here: Christianity would have faded away without a trace, had it not been for the Roman Empire. They saw in the followers of the Nazarene the perfect formula for a political religion. Their adoption of Christianity as a state religion gave them power as head of state and religion. When Rome fell the religious leaders held onto power through the Church of the Holy Roman Empire, and hold power to this day.

    Christianity has been ingrained in peoples minds as the true faith by greedy power hungry world leaders. Would a true religion really have used such a corrupt vehicle. Because the vehicle it used was corrupt Christianity became corrupted. It bears little resemblence to the original teachings of the Nazarene called Jesus.

    The Christian faith acomplished one thing very well. It gave the Jews a way to shed thier guilt without having to continually slaughter animals for thier sins anymore.
    I'd need to research the change in Jewish religious practise by the Roman conquest and rule over Palestine post 70AD to answer that.

    It has never been clear to me why God would demand that his perfect Son be killed to attone for our sins. The Christian God is a God of human sacrifice, but at least it states that only one was needed for all time, putting an end to human and animal sacrifice, a definite evolutionary and social jump upwards toward freedom.
    Compaired to what was done before this I see it as an improvement to the human condition.
    Well an evolutionary social jump toward not being so in fear of a manlike God perhaps.

    Maybe the evolution of Religion is not really for Gods purpose but is truly for ours.
    Yes religion rarely has anything to do with 'God' in the absolute sense.

    As God already knows all things and is all powerfull why would he need us to worship him at all? I do not believe that God needs any vengence at all, who could ever hurt him, he has nothing to fear. Only man has fear, so man needs these beliefs to conquer his fear and get to a place of love.
    You are a wise man libra_spirit. It's old saying but true: "man made God in his own image"

    unclebruce

    ===

    G'day cellomould,

    "This post is resurected at the special request of Shelby, YK, Rex and several others." was this a request in writing? did they all sign it? or did you anticipate such a request? [:-)]
    No each of them asked me individually.. I'd like to hear biblemans comments too... (maybe :)

    I especially liked the part about the epistles not containing written testimony. Is this really true?
    Yes, it's true.

    I thought I recall Peter... I really don't remember...something like 'we preach Christ resurrected'... I guess it must have been Paul!
    That was Paul and I've been using that as evidence that Paul used Jesus to creat his new nazarite destroying religion. I don't have a bible here but he says in dismissing James, Jesus brother and heir to his Nazarite party, (early in Romans I think) "I am not interested in Jesus except as the risen Christ." In other words "I will use the martyred messiah Jesus as a foundation for moulding a myth that would channel support of the Jewish diaspora away from the Roman fighting Nazarites" (Saul's stated purpose had not changed, he just became more cunning and much more effective)

    While James and the Nazarites were sending bags of white pebbles to the diaspora in exchange for cash (with a secret name to be divulged to no one .. as mentioned in Revelation) Paul was intent on stopping those bags of money reaching the anti-establishment forces in Palestine. (things you won't learn in Sunday school ;)

    Hey, do you ever read the apocryphal books? Those are quite interesting...
    Yes, they're good fun. I listed as many of them as I have on record once, inncluding the fragements of early letters etc.. the list was well beyond 66 'books' ;)

    Actually they are proof against the bible's inspiration, since it demonstrates a process of weeding out the bullshit. What's left is horseshit. he he he
    Spot on, but not just weeding out bullshit, weeding out things that didn't put authority in good light. My personal favorite is "Susan and the Elders" I'd love to see that story read out from the Hall platform. These books were once considered appropriate reading 'though not inspired' but nowerdays I guess they could have a man disfellowshipped.

    Jude alludes to something outside the bible in his 'Jesus disputing with Satan over Moses' body' comment. There is no such account ANYwhere in the bible. What do you know about this? I would like to find where in the Apocrypha this might be.
    Thanks, when I get back home I'll look it up and see if I can find anything.

    cheers, unclebruce.

  • cellomould
    cellomould

    Thanks again unclebruce,

    I liked your follow up as much or more as the original... insightful!
    I don't think I can keep up with you in research, my friend. he he he

    (In fact, I had given up almost entirely doing bible research until I joined this DB)

    cellomould

    "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

  • Will Power
    Will Power

    Excellent sentence libre:

    Only man has fear, so man needs these beliefs to conquer his fear and get to a place of love.

    Exploring the concept of God should lead you to this place. Man has so often substituted & confused "the way" with rules that they think should steer the unthinking/unexploring one, or the "lazy".

    Think of how difficult it would be to practice perfect, unselfish love.
    Think of what you would have to do to & for all those who were getting in the way of you practicing your perfect love.
    ?????

  • Will Power
    Will Power

    PUTTING THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE:

    If anyone is intrigued by these other stories that sound so familiar, the author Joseph Campbell gives good insight into WHY mankind has developed these "mysteries".
    Also Karen Armstrong gives a good historical acct in the "History of God" and "The Battle for God"

  • Rex B13
    Rex B13

    Hi Unc,
    You still 'just don't get it', regarding similiar claims and beliefs by pagan religions. The Christian faith has so much more evidence than the rest and it's claims are backed up both secular and by the apostles giving their livelihood, reputations and very lives for this miracle that you scoff at! Also, the fact that pagan religions have valid similarities to Christianity enhances the idea that there was at one time, one God worship from which all other worship originated.
    Zoaraster and the Magi of Persia gleaned much from being exposed to Daniel and the hebrews at Babylon. The Magi (who were not 'magicians' but an elite, 'King making groups of wise men') even tracked down the Christ child by His second year of life.
    Of course, you much champion the typical critisisms because it allows you to believe you are correct in your own life course and world view.
    Rex

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Hi rex
    'Of course, you much champion the typical critisisms because it allows you to believe you are correct in your own life course and world view.'
    Still making unfounded accusations, i see.

    Cellumould

    Judes story of satan and michael arguing over moses' body is from 'the assumption of moses'. His phrase about myriads of angels coming for vengence is from another apocraphyl book called 'the book of enoch'.

    I guess the romans left a little bull shit in the horse shit.

    SS

  • cellomould
    cellomould

    Thanks SS,

    I had heard of the book of Enoch before, and that was a hunch of mine.

    But I just recently heard about the assumption of Moses. (like a few days ago) I hadn't put 2 + 2 together yet.

    cool! I want to read those.

    cello the disputer

    "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

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