Cheating in the Congregation

by EXMS 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • EXMS
    EXMS

    How often does anyone see cheating happening throughout the congregation?

    Reason that I ask this is because it happened to me. I dated this girl that was also in the congregation for 3 years. In this three years things seemed to go great. I was pioneering. She was pioneering. I was on track to becoming a ministerial servant. Been through Pioneer School. Was talking about getting married. Planning our life together. Moving to Alaska and both being pioneers up there. We had even briefly talked about going to bethel. Life seemed good. One day out of the blue, she says we have to stop seeing each other. When I ask why, she proceeds to tell me that she has been dating another guy (whom I have known for a little while) for the past year and they are getting married in a couple months! I am pissed and go to the elders. Apparently she already had. Her dad is an elder. She got off scot free. She stayed a pioneer, he became a pioneer, and I got privately reproved for "entering into an established relationship". That was a serious turning point for me. I realized then that I don't want to do this. I never did get an privleges back either.

    Has anyone ever seen anything like this before?

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    So although you were still both single, you both moved to Alaska to pioneer?

    I’ve never heard that one before.

  • EXMS
    EXMS

    Oh sorry....just realized it said that.

    No, we were going to get married and then move up there. We were in communication with the Circuit Overseer in Anchorage and he was advising us which congregation to go to. But no, we hadn't moved there yet.

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    Ok, that makes more sense!

    I find it amazing that she found the time to date another guy while pioneering and dating you at the same time.

    Sorry your feelings were hurt like that. If that’s the kind of person she is, it’s just as well you didn’t get stuck being married to her.

  • EXMS
    EXMS

    Yeah I feel the same way...I'm glad I didn't marry her. Still quite rough on me. I even talked to my grandparents about this. My grandfather lives in Vermont and is an elder. He was "trying to bring me back" and said that it is amazing how many times he has heard of something like this going on. I was shocked!

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    EXMS........welcome to the board. Sorry about your heartbreak. Nothing hurts like that when you are young and in love.

    Think About It

  • Cagefighter
    Cagefighter

    Damn... sounds like general women stuff... Like my Dad said once, "if you gonna play with snakes, you going to get bit."

  • penny2
    penny2

    Welcome, EXMS. Sorry you had this bad experience. After 3 years - it must have been a shock.

    penny

  • SnakesInTheTower
    SnakesInTheTower

    cage:

    if you gonna play with snakes, you going to get bit

    heeeeeyyyyy! I resemble that....lol

    And...welcome to the board EXMS....be glad that you didnt get stuck with her...

    SnakesInTheTower (of the "got the hell out of the Borg" Sheep Class)

    ps...regarding the topic..... this crap happened more than the average JW realized.... I even knew of wife swapping among participants in a district convention drama........it occured at a private "rehearsal".... but it didnt come out until after the convention...so much for good examples. ....so yeah....plain vanilla cheating doesnt surprise me..

  • undercover
    undercover

    Welcome, EXMS...

    That's a raw deal, but not unexpected. Congregations are full of politics. There are ways of kissing asses to get away with things that others, who are more honest, would never get away with.

    But let's look at the positive...

    This event set in motion the wheels to you being freed from slavery to the WT corporation. Imagine if you had gotten married, moved to Alaska, pioneered, etc etc. How long before you realized it wasn't the "truth"? Maybe never?

    Yea, it hurts and yea you've been shitted on, but that pain will go away. Now you've got the rest of your life to get over the injustice, the pain and her. And you get to do it free from the cult of the WTS.

    Good luck on your continuing journey to freedom...

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