Hi all, new posting, but I've been lurking for a while. I thought it was time to "come out" as it were and voice my story...
I was born into the JW cult surrounded by all of my JW family. Grandfather was an elder for almost 40 years till he passed, both of my uncles are currently now elders and have been for the last 15 years. Even my best friend is a JW MS for the last 5 years. I pioneered briefly, just long enough to be invited to pioneer school back when I was 16 yrs old. I have been DF’d twice, and came back twice, but I always had this nagging doubt in the back of my mind that something about this “religion” or rather cult, was wrong. I’ve never been appointed as an MS since I’m too “rebellious”.
I was abused as a child by my step-father, and till this day denies it and even been through a few JC’s throughout the years trying to expose him with the elders just bringing up the whole, “well, no one else saw him do the things you said he did to you so we can’t do anything”, even though my mom walked in on him but they say that she is just trying to bury her ex and is making this up.... wtf right?
Anyway, there has been so much of what you all here have seen first hand and have experienced with this cult that I too have seen and can relate to. I knew that this mind-control that they have on their members is disgusting to say the least.
My predicament? Everyone in my family is an active JW. My mom see’s the bs that this org is but won’t leave because she too is “stuck” because of friends/family. In fact, the longer I think about it, the more I realize that a lot of my friends have their doubts as well but are in that “wtf do I do” mode since all of my family are in too.
So where does that leave me? I’m currently on the fast track to fade out. I haven’t gone out in field circus in 3+ months, I am trying to slip the meetings a little more and more. The crapper is, an elder came up to me a week ago and asked me to take over a study... I was like... uh.. no thanks, I have no time. Of course he started with the guilt trip right away, “well, we ARE instructed to spread the word and it is our duty as baptized publishers to fulfill our dedication.” I told him I’ll think about it and came up with some excuse based on work. I can’t get over the guilt trips these people push on others. Sickening.
I know this is quite a quick overview with a lot of details left out, but what led me to this site was, one day I wanted to do research on 1914 and what do you know an article that someone wrote here came up and that opened the whole can of worms! I have been to freeminds.org, jwfacts, and countless of other sites that give an honest, straightforward, and the thing I like, back up their stories with facts. Needless to say I’ve been doing a ton of “personal study”, LOL!
I have been taught a lie from the day I was born, so that leads me to say that I have lived a lie all of my life. I am glad to have my eyes opened and I have been starting to read the bible and research facts other than what the WT has printed. In doing this I have been awakened. Awakened me to seek the truth, THE truth about everything I’ve been taught. Cognitive dissonance couldn’t mean more to me at this moment.
Thank you all here for sharing parts of your lives and being a part of a group that knows what it’s like to go through the things that being a JW goes through.