I like Blondie's response to this question:
Rough quote 'I'll answer your question but first answer this: Why do you ask me that? Is it to really understand MY reason or just so that you can classify me according to the organization?'
I don't owe ANYONE an explaination...
by babygirl30 26 Replies latest jw friends
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upnorth
It's very possible that the Borg is using her to "feel out" your state of mind.
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TheSilence
You are correct, you don't *owe* anyone an explanation. But you can choose to give someone one if they ask out of genuine concern or interest. When my dad asked me many years ago my answer was simple but true, "I can't *make* myself believe something I don't." I don't debate doctrine with him or my sister. Perhaps my answer was accepted as a simple truth, I don't know. But I think if one of them were to ask further I would lay out the groundrules... look, I'm happy to tell you my feelings on the matter, but not if the whole purpose is for you to debate me and convince me to come back I'm not interested in pursuing this line of discussion. You're asking for my viewpoint and I'm happy to give it. I am not asking your viewpoint in return. If you can accept those terms I will tell you *why* I don't believe.
Just because we don't *owe* something to someone doesn't mean we can't *give* it to them if they inquire. I think the motive behind the inquiry is important. If she was asking because she was truly concerned about you and your welfare and really just wanted to understand then I see no reason not to give her the respect of an answer. If she is asking so she can prove you wrong... well, then it's her issue and I would steer clear of the subject.
Jackie
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babygirl30
I honestly believe she was asking out of purse concern...remember, the girl doesn't really LIVE an independent life - she is 'challenged' and lives with her parents at the age of 36! I had let her come visit me (we live 2hrs apart) and stay for a wknd, and she doesn't REALLY have a lot of friends. Guess I feel sorry for her cause I 'get it' - I mean, I understand why she would feel bad.
People need to understand that my NOT being a JW is my choice!! I CHOOSE not to return, I CHOOSE not to give the power of my future over into the hands of 3 elders who really don't know me. I should start asking others 'why do YOU stay a JW?'
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cantleave
Good for you BG. You only need to give reasons for leaving a group if it is a cult, any other group would just say, "so-long and good luck.........", they wouldn't shun you or demonise you.
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snowbird
I started a thread a while back about a JW trying to guilt/bully me back.
I told her off; she's back to non-speaking again!
LOL.
Sylvia
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babygirl30
JW trying to guilt/bully me back.
My parents do that in SPURTS! After my surgery, my mom was UP my butt about coming back...and she used the whole 'guilt' trip of claiming by my dating a non-JW and living with him, I was giving HIM a bad Witness. Like you, SHE (yes - my own mother) had to be told off! Told her point blank "The only ones giving a bad Witness are the Witnesses themselves! People know I was abused...people know I was kicked out the religion...they know I don't lie, cheat, steal, sleep around, get drunk or do drugs...people know I have reached out to you (mom and dad) and you have chosen to harden YOUR hearts towards ME. So really, YOU are giving the bad Witness - not me." She really had NOTHING to say after that.
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snowbird
Good for you!
Sylvia
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Jim_TX
"Told her point blank "The only ones giving a bad Witness are the Witnesses themselves! People know I was abused...people know I was kicked out the religion...they know I don't lie, cheat, steal, sleep around, get drunk or do drugs...people know I have reached out to you (mom and dad) and you have chosen to harden YOUR hearts towards ME. So really, YOU are giving the bad Witness - not me." She really had NOTHING to say after that."
I really like that! Good for you!
Regards,
Jim TX
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jamiebowers
"Told her point blank "The only ones giving a bad Witness are the Witnesses themselves! People know I was abused...people know I was kicked out the religion...they know I don't lie, cheat, steal, sleep around, get drunk or do drugs...people know I have reached out to you (mom and dad) and you have chosen to harden YOUR hearts towards ME. So really, YOU are giving the bad Witness - not me." She really had NOTHING to say after that."
You got that right. My jw mom's "worldly" siblings are horrified that she has shunned me for all these years.