Despite the fact I was in a very large congregation (when I first became a witness-back in 1991), I was hardly ever invited out by people of my own age. Over the space of about two years, I could probably count on my hand the number of times I was invited out. I even made efforts to invite Brothers and Sisters. I was only 23 years old at the time, living in a very large city, in another country and yet felt completely isolated and all alone.
I would often reflect on the days when I would be socialising with all my friends every weekend and always looked forward to going out and enjoying a social life. I sacrificed all my old friends for the truth. So as you can imagine, for a young man having no social network whatsoever was deeply difficult. I would often lapse back and miss meetings for weeks on end. On my return to the meetings at one point, the presiding overseer, who initially tried to help me at that time, (which I did appreciate) suddenly started to ignore me (walk past me) if I happened to turn up at the hall. This didn’t help at all. He even rudely walked passed my mother, who had stayed with me for about 3 months to give me support which I so desperately needed at that time.
Being a young man or woman in the JW'S is a real test of faith. It is all work and no play in many cases. There are no youth groups or the like within the organisation, that such ones can look forward to each week. If you are one of the 'lucky' ones, that fit in, you may have plenty of social events; but it is hit and miss for most young witnesses. I know of two individuals in my hall who I know are being sidelined by the other youths within the hall. My wife tells me how shocking it is that such lovely people are simply left out. One of the these ones is a kind hearted 18 year old sister. I simply cant beleive why she is being left out all the time. Her mother often tells my wife of the pain she feels because of this. Of course, most of the teens in my hall are all elders children and seem to mix only among themselves. The other girl is only 13, and again, the same story. All work, no play. In all probability, it is very likely that such ones are being set up to fail spiritually. Their needs are not being met socially. Many of these ones will either end up fading away or simply end up making friends with people outside of the faith, which of course will then lead to them being watched/marked by the 'loving shepherds' of the hall.
My current congregation is shocking, I know for a fact that there are cliques (ie elders families and pioneers) who often arrange get togethers and leave out the same people each time (about a third of the congregation, us included). This has caused my wife a lot of bitterness. Thankfully, I have a couple of sincere friends I have met over the years, and manage to go out occasionally for a pint (both are now faders). I simply dont rely on 'THE brothers at the hall' to socialise on a regular basis; because it just simply wont happen. I enjoy occassionally going out with my work mates, or 'worldly' relatives for a drink. at least I can let my hair down and have a bit of a laugh with these ones. Yet, I am comfortable with this, because I use my discernment who I socailise with, as I still maintain my relationship with Jehovah. It is unfortunate, but in many cases the brothers simply have no other option available to them, but to socialise with people 'who are not in the faith'. Many brothers and sisters in many congregations probably do the same, as they tend to end up in similiar situations.
Unfortunately, isolating oneself in thier livingroom surrounded by four walls each weekend, year upon year is enough to crack up the best of us. Anyway, its friday night, I'm off for a pint, catch you all later!
TE
