Do you think that it is better to be disassociated or disfellowshipped or do you think that drifting away is the best option?
An Opinion Question
by DIMs Wife 40 Replies latest jw friends
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larc
drift away
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OUTLAW
Hey Dims wife,drift away...OUTLAW
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DIMs Wife
But if you drift away can you ever really live your life without looking over your shoulder? ....
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Prisca
It's better to drift away, because that still gives you some leeway to speak to family and close friends.
Re "looking over your shoulder" - yes, that is true to some extent, but in my experience the elders eventually leave you alone, and you just live your life any old way. It's only when you start to flaunt your non-JWishness ie. Christmas lights in the house windows, telling a JW friend about the bday party bash you put on for your husband that you may attract some attention, but mostly if you play your cards right you'll be left alone.
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Pureheart
Don't burn your bridges! Of the three that you mentioned, drift away if you must. But, pull in from time to time if you feel like it.
Pureheart
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brodark
So far drifting away has worked out very well for me. But each one has their own circumstances and needs. I chose "drifting." But if pushed, I would disassociate before I would let them disfellowship me, I would think.
Lindy, posting from brodark's computer.
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betweenworlds
I agree 100%, drifting for me has also been the best option. Although telling the folks up in Brooklyn to go take a long walk off a short pier would be an exhilerating feeling, the long term implications such as not being able to talk to friends and family are too great. Slow and easy!
Best of Luck to you
bw
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice; nothing is safe that does not show how it can bear discussion and publicity. Lord Acton 1834-1902
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RedhorseWoman
Drifting away is by far the best option. First of all, it shows disdain for their ridiculous rules. Disassociate myself? Why should I? Your organization is of no value to me, so why should I feel the need to give your members a formal statement by which to shun me?
Drifting also gives you lots of leeway in talking to JWs. They don't feel threatened (most of the time), and you can frequently get through to them and help them out. This happened with one of my friends. She stayed in touch with me because I was still semi-acceptable. Then, when she started having doubts and questions, she felt she could talk to me without repercussions until she was ready to make her own decision.
As far as "looking over your shoulder" is concerned, in my case that never happened. When I first became inactive, I fervently wished for someone to call on me and help me to re-activate myself. Didn't happen. I haven't received a "shepherding call" in almost 17 years, and I don't expect that I'll be getting one anytime soon.
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aChristian
A second opinion:
"Drifting away" is the coward's way out. If you now know the truth about "the truth," don't hide your light under a basket. Shout it from the roof tops. Help as many poor lost JWs as you can to learn the same truth. Jesus said if we are ashamed of Him He will be ashamed of us. If you still have your faith in Christ, then tell every JW you know that He alone is "the way, THE TRUTH and the life," not any often mistaken, man made, religious organization.
Do this by sending every JW in your community a copy of a brief letter (short enough for them to actually read), explaining why you are sure that the Watchtower organization is not what it claims to be and how their boastful claims glorifying themselves greatly dishonor Christ. Send all of your letters out at the same time, so most of them will actually get read, before their recipients can be warned by others who have gotten them not to read them.
If you "drift away" you be forever thought of by JWs as being spiritually weak. Is that what you want? Did Jesus "drift away" from the corrupt religious establishment in His day, or did he boldly proclaim God's truth to all, and willingly accept the consequences of his actions? WWJD
If you "drift away" you will certainly end up, sooner or later, making some negative comments to family members and close friends about the organization. When they are repeated to the elders, which they certainly will be, the JW secret police will from then on be out to get you. And believe me they will. But then when they do, to avoid the embarrassment and attention that always comes with an official "apostasy" charge, they will find a way to disfellowship you on some trumped up lesser charge, maybe even using some mysterious words like "loose conduct" to describe your actions, allowing everyone to use their vivid imaginations to figure out why you were really disfellowshipped. Maybe they will disfellowship you for some technicality, like eating with a disfellowshipped person as they did with Ray Franz. But soon rumors will be flying all over town that you were really disfellowshipped for sleeping with the mailman or embezzling from your employer. Don't let that happen. Be strong. Be brave. Be proud to be an official apostate, a badge of honor many former cowards here like myself wish they now had chosen to wear.
The night they announce your disfellowshipping sit in the front row. Afterwards, stand up and loudly declare to all, "Jesus Christ is my Lord. Not the Watchtower, Bible and Tract Society." Then march right out of that Kingdom Hall straight down to the Religion editor of your local newspaper and say, "Have I got a story for you!"