What now? Where to from here on in?

Aussie Oz

Well, it is about six months since i came on here.

I have a stack of files and information at my finger tips that frankly i dont know what to do with! It is almost like i have forgotten more than i learnt when i go back through it all. Sometimes i re-read stuff just to make sure i am really really sure of it all.

One of my main reasons for beginning this journey from apologist to 'apostate' was first to de-construct the power that held me since i was 10 and secondly, when i realized the truth about the 'truth' and the Watchtower corporation/s, to get my kids out of it.

On one hand i want the WBTS to be some distant forgotten memory but realize this probably will now not be until i feel they are 'safe' and

on the other i want to do something with what i have learnt. I realize it is pretty useless to hit witnesses with the real truth, so other than using it for a bit of fun with them what do i do with it?

Sometimes it feels like a fire in my belly and i want to scream it from the roof tops, yet i know that wont really acheive anything at all. I feel so indignant at the WBTS that sometimes i wish i could do some harm there but the world is full of groups wanting to control people and people wanting to be controlled, i can not dent that.

Perhaps i should concentrate on the strategy needed to help the children and then hit delete?

I find an incredible mix of people here, new scared and unsure ones, angry and frustrated ones, funny ones, cool headed wise ones, researchers and those dedicated to exposing and educating, some with minds like encyclopedias that seem to be able to find and share rare material too.

Did you reach my point in the journey? Why are you how you are?

Oz feels a little lost for direction for some weird reason...

Mad Sweeney

I still feel like I should do something to protect others from the cult and *maybe* help some still in (though there is little hope in that, a little is better than none).

I'm not free to do any of that at this point though. So I wait.

transhuman68

Maybe you are seeing the whole situation from a different viewpoint now. When we leave the Witnesses, it seems that they have the power, because they are a strong group, and we are all alone. Now you realize that they are completely wrong, and they are waiting for an event that will never happen, you are in the driving seat. It is still hard for us 'born-ins' to plan ahead and live like normal people, though. Good luck, Oz.

designs

Oz, the new goals will get more focused and clear, you are already doing many of the positive things such as taking care of your family. Embrace some worthwhile causes. For me it was coming full circle back to things I had as goals as a teenager before I got involved with the Witnesses, Environmental issues and addressing the great tragedy of Hunger.

You'll find your path, you've already started.

OnTheWayOut

I have some loved ones in the WT religion still. Otherwise, I would slowly put it behind me. I don't need to be an encyclopedia of "Why it ain't the truth." I respect those that do that, but it is not for me. I went through a whole bunch of books about the JW's, then a whole bunch of books about the Bible, I viewed many videos, documentaries, personal testimonies. I am losing interest in those things now, but still come here to vent and relate with others who are going through it. I am writing my own book of finding and losing my religion and that will hold me for awhile.

Many come here for months or a year or two then stop posting. Some stay longer. There are a few that start their own campaign somehow (websites, visit church groups, protest at Memorials) to help others. That not for me.

It's hard for a slightly obsessive person like me to give this advice, but work through your process and don't worry too much about spending too much energy on things anti-JW. When you are ready, it will die off and be less important to you.

Black Sheep

Yeah, I've been there. The timing was probably pretty similar too.

I haven't managed to get my kids out, but they still talk to me about anything else and they have no doubts about my opinion of old farts in Salt Lake, the Vatican % Crooklyn.

All of my family owes me answers and I don't demand them until they say, "Jeho...." and they don't forget that very often.

I never fail to have a dig at cults in general if they come up in conversation in my daily life. I doubt that I have any aquaintances that are at risk from any cult.

Once my kids are out I might box up all of my books, back up my cult library to a portable HDD and clear all of the tish out of my computers. I would never dump it though. It might be needed for an intervention. I'll probably leave Manson's music in my Jukebox.

Cheers

Chris

life is to short

Sometimes it feels like a fire in my belly and i want to scream it from the roof tops, yet i know that wont really acheive anything at all. I feel so indignant at the WBTS that sometimes i wish i could do some harm there but the world is full of groups wanting to control people and people wanting to be controlled, i can not dent that.

I can totally relate to that. There are sometimes I get so mad and just want everyone to know that this is a cult and I want to scream it to everyone but it really does not work.

I was put in contact with ones who have left the WT back in the mid 70's and their whole lives have been trying to bring down the WT. They are still so strong trying fight the WT and for what. Their whole lives have been wasted just the same as if they were still in the "truth".

I was talking with my counselor yesterday and was telling her I do not what my life defined as being an ex JW. Yes I want to help people know that it is a very destructive and dangerous cult but to spend all of your time like some of the ones I have come into contact with seems like such a waste of life.

What I want to do is to let people know. Especially about the pedophiles. That is my passion because I know first hand how horrible it is to be abused and second I know in my hall that pedophiles have full run of this religion. I have seen it with my own eyes. I do not know just how to totally do it but I tell everyone about what I know and no one has looked down on me for it or for my having been a JW. In fact I find most people do not hate Jehovah's Witnesses like I was always taught to believe. Most people are very nice when I tell them of my past and what I know now.

I totally feel though about where you are coming from. It has been so hard learning what I know about this religion. I truly thought it was the "truth". I just look back and wonder how I could have been so stupid.

LITS

blondie

Of course there are people that manage to balance things and still help others over several years.

Randy Watters

James Penton

Barbara and Joe Anderson

Lady Lee

just to name a few; I don't like to think them as somehow crippled and unable to "move on." I think they provide a valuable resource and are willing to give some of their time and energy.

It takes time to get over a traumatic situation whether it was originally bad or good. Six months is not sufficient in my opinion. Each person's situation is unique and I don't think they should be considered or consider themselves "slow."

RosePetal

hi Aussi Oz I have learnt a lot and had a lot of support from every one that comes on the board. Every one has something to give because you all have experiences and difficult problems to deal with and can pass on how you dealt with them. Also great advice because you have been there and experienced it. You also pass on information and are always ready to share what you have learned and put lincs. so that we can find out for ourselves.

This is how my eyes were opened about the lies and the 'truth about the truth' I found out about different sights you had already researched and passed on. You have all really helped me move on. We don't have to be obsessive to still give and help others I hope you still visit when you can.

That goes for all who visit the board Love RosePetal

Broken Promises

Not everyone has to be a Ray Franz or a Randy Watters.

Do what’s best for YOU, and the rest of the world can wait. Obviously your kids are your first priority, and I would keep the information for any questions they may have in the future. But hopefully, one day, there will come a time when you won’t need the information, and you can then choose whether to keep it or not.

What now? Where to from here on in?

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