I like the people in my Kingdom Hall! (page 2)

Hadit

Welcome Lavozsa! Right now the elders believe you are part of the flock and are encouraging you. However, once they realize that your stand and beliefs are firm, they will quickly turn. Unfortunately, I found out the hard way that ALL my 'friendships' in the org are conditional. Once it is known that you celebrate birthdays - as Undercover pointed out - you will be rather quickly freed from this religion. It won't by by your choice. It would be a good idea to build up your friendships that you have outside of the hall because they tend to be more real (not in all cases) as they are not based on a forced friendship like in a religion. For the time being and until you do more research I would also recommend to keep the information to yourself. It helps to have a plan first. I wish I had done that when I first found things out.

I wish you all the best - glad you joined. There is a wealth of information on here and lots of support.

Hadit

lavozsa

Thank you all so much for your comments thus far. In my wanting to celebrate my son's birthday, I definitely wouldn't invite an JWs so as to not "stumble" them nor make it a public announcement. I do have several non-JW friends with children of the same age. My ultimate desire is to have my wife see things as clearly as I am now so that she can decide for herself that this is not the "truth" that she has been led to believe. As I mentioned, my wife and I are happily married and the questions and doubts that I have posed over the last couple of years have not led to an major arguments because I've been good about leaving breadcrumbs of information about what is really true. I do think that if she agrees to the B-day party, that will show me that she is coming to the same conclusion as I have. But as I mentioned before, she grew up a JW and it will be difficult, especially with the strong influence her parents have on her. Curiously, of all of her JW friends that she had growing up, only herself and a handful of others are still active. Most have been DF'd and never been back or have been inactive for years and years. With the advent of facebook, she has reconnected with some these ex-friends and I believe is seeing that there is life after the "truth". A real good friend of ours that has been inactive for several years stayed the weekend with us and I expressed to him some of my thoughts and she seemed to be comfortable with the outward expression of my ideas. Though sometimes it's difficult to really say if I think she could find herself breaking free from the control of the society.

Thanks again. Also, can Ray Franz book be found at Barnes and Noble?

AudeSapere

Also, can Ray Franz book be found at Barnes and Noble?

Welcome to JWN! Nice intro post; looking forward to hearing more from you.

I don't think B&N carries this in stock but can probably order it for you.

OR... why not order it straight from Ray at www.commentarypress.com ? Not sure, but he may get bigger commission/royalties (????)...

-Aude Sapere (meaning: Dare to Know; Dare to Have Wisdom/Understanding; Dare to Think for Yourself)

cult classic

Welcome Lovozsa,

"I really do enjoy the friendships of the people at the hall, including the elders. The people in my hall and the elders are very up to date with their thinking and handling of situations, which differs greatly from the people and elders at my in-laws hall. They know I haven't been out in service for over a year and do occassionally invite me to work with them or informally try and give some words of encouragement at informal meetings, but they are never persistent nor over bearing in their attempts."

Are they really your friends? Do you mean they invite you to work with them on projects around their home/community? Or work with them in field service? Just because they are nice/cordial doesn't mean they are your friends. A friend allows you freedom of thought and expression. If they are progressive in their thinking and actions you should be able to express what you are thinking without fear of reprisal.

If you tell them that you are celebrating birthdays I am telling you it will be ON! I wouldn't do that unless you are ready for the consequences.

yknot

I am not sure why you would need to share the info with Elders..... (really why burden them with this!)

There are far more 'Social JWs' than you realize ...... you will likely take gradual steps from social into full fledged conscious class..... into inactive and than finally no longer a JW

I am one of those.......like your wife I am a born-in and have family/social structure concerns.

Granted I don't expect to always remain..........rather drift further and further away seeing how the social benefits are less than what other denominations offer in the long run.

When is the last time you asked your wife to explain what exactly the 'troof' is........(do you remember from your initial study)

I can't wait until she joins the forum tooo....

(oh btw there was a talk entitled "Millions Now Living May....." given in 1918.......)

flipper

LAVOZSA- Welcome to the board ! Nice to have you here. I understand your situation. I too was raised in the witnesses and although I didn't have MANY close friends- there are a few who it would have been nice to keep having as friends but they pulled away from me due to my disagreeing with the WT society. If your witness friends are accepting of you even though you doubt- you are very fortunate- that is not usually the norm. But I would still be VERY careful of word getting out to your local elders that you and your wife want to celebrate Birthdays . Some of these same elders who have been your friends - could turn into your adversary in a New York minute quickly if it becomes known you are doing Birthdays . Then you'd have a nasty little judicial committee meeting to deal with. Been there, had that done to me- it's not pretty. It brings more stress to your life that you don't need right now.

Anyway ! Continue reading the books recommended by some here ! Seve Hassan's are great as are Ray Franz's books too. They really helped me over 6 years ago when I stopped attending ! So pull up a chair, enjoy your stay here ! I look forward to your takes and observations ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

happy1975

It's really too bad, but each one of those relationships is conditional and won't stand up to your questioning the society. Welcome to the board!

Happy

moshe

Welcome. I advise you to immediately join a club, a bowling league or start taking dance lessons and go to the dance parties, anything- meet some new friends asap, as you are going to be left out in the cold very soon, if past experience with JW's holds true.

man in black

The friendship that you are experiencing right now is VERY - VERY conditional.

Make sure that you and your family have a backup plan, you will be in for quite a shock when the "friends" show their true colors.

OUTLAW

Who are the people in your Kingdom Hall?

........................ ...OUTLAW

I like the people in my Kingdom Hall!

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