Not Sure What To Do....HELP!!!!!

by lostinnj83 30 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    Welcome! Cognac and jgnat are good ones to read. Jgnat never was a JW but is married to one. Cognac has been struggling with her family for the past year and got out before her husband. I think they are both fading now, but I'm not sure.

    No, you are definitely not alone!

    So nice to have you here

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    Don't have anything to add...just saying Welcome!

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Welcome.

    Yes, patience is called for, and while you are being patient, you will be in turmoil, but being overly hasty will surely cause even more problems with your family.

    Take the time to find out more. Read many of the posts here. Let some time pass.

    Perhaps sometime you could "ask a question" to your husband. Something to make him think, but in a way that does not sound "apostate." Something like, "I don't understand about the generation changes. There have been so many in recent years. Can you help me understand how once the WT taught that the generation of 1914 definitely would not pass awaybefore Armageddon, then the generation was the wicked people who took no note, then the annointed, then overlapping generations?"

    Sometimes when others are called on to explain, they see the confusion of it all.

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Dear Lostinnj83,

    First of all...WELCOME!! We are so happy to have you here!!

    Second...((HUGS)) As I am sure you are probably in need of one considering most here can relate to you. I realized the truth about the "truth" quite some time before my husband was finally willing to listen to me. It was extemely frusterating to say the least. Looks like you have come to a cross road faster then many, but still the same crossroad we all face. Do we hold what we have learned all in, and live a lie for the sake of keeping the relationship with our family and friends, or do we stand up for what we have realized is really the truth and risk it all. It is really a tough choice when you are married and your mate refuses logic.

    I remember when the blood brochure came out at the convention and we were on our way home, reading parts of it outloud in the car. I was raised in the organization so I could not wrap my head around the fact that for all my life we were to pour blood out on the ground. We could not even store our own blood for surgerys. I wasn't thrilled with that teaching, but..I carried my blood card just the same. Then out of the blue one day we get the green light that "fractions" are ok...What the heck??? So on the way home I was expressing to my Grandmother how I did not understand..how could something go from absolutely WRONG in God's eyes..to being a conscience matter. We know God cannot lie...so who got it wrong?? She kept trying to tell me that fractions were not the whole blood...she even admitted it didn't make sence to her, but as long as the Society said it was ok then she was ok with doing it. ME?? I was in TOTAL confusion, and it made her angry that I wouldn't just agree that it was ok. But I thought to my self, "How can the Holy Spirit be wrong??" Saying that fractions are ok, would mean that they had had it all wrong....it just did not make sence.

    Then I made the mistake of saying to her, "Blood fractions are made FROM blood. You CANNOT synthetically make them. You can ONLY get them from someones STORED blood." Boy that was it...talk about heated...however..surprisingly, my husbands wheels were turning and he agreed with me..it didn't make any sence. All of this happened some time before we even started doing research. I ditched my blood card long before my husband..but he finally did too. The logic is so twisted...Here you cannot even store your own blood for a future surgery, yet you can take parts of someone elses stored, DONATED (I might add) blood!

    I would love for the Elders to answer how is it the Witnesses cannot donate blood for others, but they can take fractions from someone elses stored blood?? They try and say it isn't blood..but it is. Like I said you cannot synthetically make it. It is like your doctor saying you had better not eat any ham and cheese sandwhiches or you may die. So you reason...well...since I am not eating a "sandwhich", I will just eat them seperately...you eat the ham...then the cheese..then the bread, but all seperately...and that is OK??? Funny thing is, the part that you CANNOT take is the fraction that makes up the water in the blood!! How stinking BIZZARRE is that??

    I like the illustration that goes like this: You and your husband are sound asleep and a fire breaks out in your home. Your husband wakes up, but your sound asleep...he sees how urgent it is to escape while you still can. But instead of waking you up, to save your life, he sees your wedding ring you have taken off and that is sitting on your bedstand. He grabs that and flees, leaving you to die in the smoke and flames. Here he had the opportunity to save you, his marriage partner...but instead he chose to save the "symbol" of your marriage. Just like those that die for not taking blood. They forsake saving the actual life God gave them by upholding the stand on blood which only represents life!!! It is like saying the symbol is worth more than life itself!!

    I always knew deep down when we had our daughter, that if anything ever happened where she needed blood to sustain her life, I would do everything in my power to see she got it. I would give up my "life" and die a everlasting death so she may live. Thank goodness I never had to face that. However..my JW Grandfather died faithful to a "changing policy" because of his stand on blood! I only wish he could have taken even a fraction..but sadly he died. ( I guess he had A LOT of questions too..)

    Now..think of how many died, like my Grandfather...loyal to a belief, that changed to become a conscience matter. Are we supposed to just say, "Oh well??" That is easy for the organization to say since it wasn't their loved one! Another example of this is organ transplants. Are you aware that for years and years it was a disfellowshipping offence to take a transplant, and it was even considered cannabalism?? Then... it became a conscience matter...how many would still be alive had they had the opportunity to use their God given conscience on the matter. Someones, child, Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, Grandparent..etc isn't here now because they were loyal to an ever changing "policy". Funny thing is they will use the ridiculous reasoning that the light got "brighter". That is insulting to God, as it is like saying they, Jehovah or Jesus or the Holy Spirit screwed up and couldn't get it right the first time. How they must be furious to be blamed on mere mens mistakes, all claiming to be food from God at the proper time.

    Anyhow....the whole blood issue really gets me going...I hope you stick around here, as there are many who have been in your shoes..and some who continue to be so.

    Sincerely,

    Lady Liberty

    P.S. If you are asked by the elders if you believe that the organization is God's spirit directed organization or something to that effect...say nothing but a FIRM, " YES, of course!!" Even if you don't...otherwise you will surely be disfellowshipped.

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    Welcome to the Board. I grew up in Northern NewJersey.

    Take it slow. Fake your hours to stay under the radar until you are ready to start letting on about your increasing 'doubts'.

    Start making other friends and finding other interests to expand your social circle and activities so if you lose current friends you will have someone and something to keep you company.

    Get a few books: Combatting Mind Control, Releasing the Binds (both by Steve Hassan), Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom (both by Ray Franz - former member JW Governing Body).

    Keep reading and posting here.

    We'll do what we can to help you decide what you want and need to do.

    -Aude Sapere (meaning: Dare to Know; Dare to Have Wisdom/Understanding)

  • moshe
    moshe

    Welcome- you said-

    and he IMMEDIATLY called the elders who provided a sheparding call.

  • mentallyfree31
    mentallyfree31

    Welcome to the forum.

    Lots of good advice has been given here. Just take it slow.

    Remember that persons under mind control don't use logical thinking. There is only one belief that matters to a JW and it is this: "God chose the men in brooklyn and I have to follow them or else i will be destroyed at Armageddon". All the other beliefs don't matter. The WTS changes things all the time - nobody even researches it or blinks an eye. As long as they believe that God chose those men in Brooklyn, they will fall right into line with ANY and ALL other beliefs. The same applies to any cult group.

    Best of luck to you.

    -mentallyfree31-

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere
    Lady Liberty wrote: I like the illustration that goes like this: You and your husband are sound asleep and a fire breaks out in your home. Your husband wakes up, but your sound asleep...he sees how urgent it is to escape while you still can. But instead of waking you up, to save your life, he sees your wedding ring you have taken off and that is sitting on your bedstand. He grabs that and flees, leaving you to die in the smoke and flames. Here he had the opportunity to save you, his marriage partner...but instead he chose to save the "symbol" of your marriage. Just like those that die for not taking blood. They forsake saving the actual life God gave them by upholding the stand on blood which only represents life!!! It is like saying the symbol is worth more than life itself!!

    Great analogy!

  • moshe
    moshe

    welcome- you said

    and he IMMEDIATLY called the elders who provided a sheparding call.

    This sounds like my ex-wife. Unless you want to live with a bully, then you have to stop this disloyal treatment immediately. You have to start marriage counseling and get your hubby to attend. The counselor can show him how he is destroying your marriage with his gestapo-like attitude. It will only get worse, unless you act forcefully to assert your rights as a human being- otherwise you will end up like a doormat.

    -

  • NiceDream
    NiceDream

    Welcome!

    I'm also on my way out, but my husband is still in. The blood doctrine worried me because we have a little one, but I figured the doctors would probably favor the parent that wanted their child to have a transfusion.

    There are others here in your situation too. PM me if you would like to chat.

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