Would any of you DESTROY ones faith and life as a JW if they were your dying grandparents?

by EndofMysteries 49 Replies latest jw friends

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  AK - Jeff

  It is a very difficult, if not generally impossible mission, to 'convince' anyone who is not ready to hear the 'truth about the truth'. When a person reaches the end of life, is holding on to hope [even if it is all lies and falsehood], what odds are there of actually reaching them? In most cases, about 0% I fear.

  So, why attempt to shatter their hope? Now if they should ask, and really want to hear what you have to say - I would lay it before them. Otherwise, I believe it would most often do nothing but harm and cause confusion at a time when that is not necessary.

  Only you know the precise mindset and situation. My mother was Jw in name only by the last years of her life. Still, I refrained. There was no point. There was not enough time for careful debate, and I had no good alternative to offer to whatever hope she believed she entertained at that stage.

  I think has she been 20 years younger when I found out what I know, I would have 'felt out' the situation to see if she would be receptive. But in what I knew to be her last months of life - no way.

  Jeff
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  peaches

  no no no.....leave them alone...love them to the best of your ability....do not give them emotional pain,,that really could "kill" them....i do not know how it was for the rest of you...but....learning,,,leaving...the organization has been excrusiating....no need to do that to them....just my opinion..peaches
• 

  Mad Sweeney

  Haven't read the replies yet. Just the initial question.

  I tried to take a middle road with my parents (who are elderly but not yet on death's door). I told them the truth as I see it and then told them my recommendation: that they make no changes in their social life with JWs, that they continue to attend meetings but ONLY when they feel like it, but to never believe anything they are told without doing their own research or asking me for help in researching it with them. They were shocked and sad at first but seem to be fine now. They are actually kind of glad to be free of the guilt and fear but that's been somewhat replaced by fear of the unknown.

  I think by my having a positive attitude about it and embracing the unknown, as well as embracing the present life with gusto, they are encouraged that the future isn't so bad, even if you don't know what's going to happen.
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  NiceDream

  No. I was with my grandpa as he passed away recently, and I think it would be better to let your grandparent die peacefully with the purpose they've always believed in. Learning "the truth isn't the truth" is a process that takes time, but also a willingness to question things. Having spent their entire life as a JW, your grandparent most likely won't listen...and probably would be very upset.

  Because I didn't know what to believe, I just prayed to God to let my grandpa die peacefully and not feel alone because he was surrounded by his family (he wasn't a JW or religious at all).

  Take care of yourself
• 

  cyberjesus

  think it all depends on

  1) how valuable is for you to know the truth

  2) how easy is for to you to understand the truth

  I want the truth ALWAYS so if I was a JW and was dying and my children could prove to me that all my beliefs are wrong and lets say I have only 8 hours left and I can digest them all in 8 hours. then I would rather know the truth how painful it is.

  However being the fact that JW are a mind control cult it would probably take more that 8 hours to open my eyes. Because even if I wanted to know it I wouldnt be able to free my mind so it would be useless. And at the end it matters the most to spend a good time with my dying relative than ending my life with an emotional crisis.

  My Grandparents are 80. They are not dying. They look like they have still another 5 years. I love them. They love me. They know I am not aJW anymore but they dont know I dont believe in God anymore. Their whole life was based on the CULT. I think that if I opened their eyes that would kill them, or they would fall on depression and their last years would be miserable. I fell in 2 months of deep depression and was able to stand up because I still have many years left (I hope) But I m still upset that I wasted my first 40. But I have tools to change my life.... Do they have tools to cope and change their life? I dont think so.

  My Parents are 60. Very Well know family in Mexico. They have literally thousands of "Friends" in their religion and ZERO friends outside. Both of them have heart problems and they constantly talk about my life and my return to GODOVAH. Here lies the question, my question. Should I try to help them? Are they able to open their eyes? Can they re-start their life outside of the BORG? Can they live with the STIGMA of being labeled APOSTATES when they were on the other side? Can they handle it? Its a difficult decision. They are under total mind control, so I dont think its even possible even if they could survive in this "worldly" world.

  What is the truth anyway? What is reality? What difference does it make at then end if they knew they were in the truth or not? When they are dead it doesnt matter anymore. They are gone. Their knowledge just dissapeared. I think if I were to tell them the Truth because that was the REALity but the truth would only kill them.. How different would it be from the Blood Doctrine that kills them just to defend the TRUTH?

  If I could extend their life or at least not shorten it. not by lying but by not revealing information that would kill them, I am willing to have in my conscience a lie just not to make them suffer. And when I face my death I will know that I tried to helped them but I knew it was not possible so I did my best to keep them as happy as possible. I will have a smile in my face and I could die in peace. and after that it wouldnt matter.
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  Terry

  http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=deathbed+scene%2Bthe+invention+of+lying&aq=f

  (click on "Where you go when you die")

  THIS IS PROFOUND
• 

  Terry

  The Man in the Sky (from THE INVENTION OF LYING)

  > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9omBYO9T7E

  Got to YouTube and click on The Man in the Sky
• 

  Dogpatch

  Some people want truth at all odds, but "truth" never makes one happy in the end. It only destroys the little fantasies that keep us going.

  Take a fragile person's fantasies away, and you can kill them literally.

  You can tell the difference between a person who balances the bludgeoning tactic of shock and awe about how cold the world really is, LIKE IT OR NOT, with a person who is used to working with people and can judge what is in the best interests of the person's well-being. We all deceive ourselves in one small way or another to survive, it is the nature of our species. It is a wise judgment call to know when to blow their bubble and when not to.

  Doctors, funeral directors, social workers, and pastors have this gift.

  I often suspect the ones who don't know how much "truth" to hold back from another as being bereft of compassion and experience with helping people in a positive way. ("Honey, you better put on some makeup today, and dodge the tacky dress!") It's easy to hurt others with reality in a way that will not change them for the better.

  When we leave the JWs or another cult, we are angry that we have been lied to. We want to tell other victims of deception and shake them to their senses. Some even make a career out of it. Get out the TRUTH bat!

  Working with people hands-on and experiencing their struggles and miseries will soften our approach to others; make it more palatible. Or, try raising children. Or as in my case, be a pastor of a church for awhile. :-))

  Randy
• 

  myelaine

  dear Terry...

  you said:

  "But--when it comes to religion and especially christianity and particularly Jehovah's Witnessess it is a different thing altogether.

  Your life isn't about your life in the real world. Reality is the enemy.

  Your life is "on hold".

  Why?

  This life is empty of meaning other than a bridge to an imagined "better" life...........later.

  So, you trade the value of life for the promise of a better life.

  Like a gambler who pushes "all in" and hopes to rake in the pot.

  A delusional life for a delusional reward is a sad, sad life.

  If reality is the enemy of happiness it all the more enforces that realization: truth is a lie."

  you're painting with pretty broad stroke here...:)

  I don't know exactly what kind of parent you are but for myself, if my children demanded that I give them what they want (like the name it and claim it "gospel" is teaching their little ones) or if they would only love me and do my will if I rewarded them (which you seem to suggest is the only reason christains have hope) I would have to say that I had truly failed as a parent and I just don't know if I could blame the kids.

  my life is not empty of meaning and I'm sure that most christains would disagree with your implying that their's are. We inhabit the same world that you do and in quite a few areas we do a lot more to aleviate the suffering of the oppressed in "reality" than non-christains. we do this out of a sense of compassion not with a thought to future reward.

  "reality is the enemy..."... then why on earth would we try to be friends with someone like you? do you think we're trying to psych you out?...lol

  love michelle
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  jam

  I am waiting for the day my brother-law A JW Elder when I can destroy his faith, on his death bed, Why you might ask.

  My mother, her Father A Baptist minister, all her life active in the church, at 85 she was still active, this was

  her life and her kids..A week before she pass, my sister and my Brother-law made the decision to tell my mom

  that she have been worshipping the devil all her life, and before she pass she can still come into JW org..

  This frighten my mom so badly she call my older Brother he call my other brother and sister. They all went

  over and told my sister and my Brother-law to leave, do not come back, yes even our sister because she should have had

  enough sense to stop it.My mom died the next week 89yrs.