I used to be VERY rigid in my interpretation of "living undercover..."
(Hmmm.... That would be a good 'alias' as an on-board name... )
But now I kinda wish I'd approached my time in the WTBTS in a drastically different direction... I've previously mentioned the job interview which posed the question, "Which would you rather be, a spy, or a fireman?" Wherein I was forcefully repulsed by the idea of being a spy...
But no longer...
My personality is WAY too straightforward, outspoken, direct, 'honest' - but in a brutal way... Going 'undercover' might enable me to develop subtlety, tact, guile, subterfuge, self-restraint, and witty style...
So, although it may feel TERRIBLE to be stuck in the organization right now, it could - with an attitude adjustment - be quite a bit of mischevious fun... But it's never really fun to be stuck in a cult... I know.
Sometimes you just want to stand up and scream at the top of your lungs, "It's ALL A LIE!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!"
Most people just can't do that... I was in a position to do that, when I left, but instead all I did was write a one-line letter... "I no longer wish to be considered a Jehovah's Witness..."
But part of me would love to be a 'spy' in the Borganization!!
Zid