I'm new here but have been reading/lurking for several months. It's good to know that I'm not alone in my ex-JW status and that my story and experiences are not unique. I have no bitterness or anger anymore.... that's long gone since I left some 12 years ago. What has stayed is the sadness for others who are stuck in the religion. For fear of losing family and friends, they stay, holding fast to something they know is not true but fearful of what lies on the other side. It IS frightening to leave. You question everything, from yourself, to the Bible, to God, to Jesus, to humanity. Nothing makes sense in the beginning. But what I've found is it's simpler to just breathe. Take each day as it comes and be honest with yourself. Love the life you are given and live it to the full. Do something nice for someone whenever you can. Take care of the earth by recycling and reusing. Smile nicely when the JW's come to the door and say no thank you. (Although I do sometimes like to tell them I'm an ex. They take a step backwards. hehe)
A little of my background: Started to study in 1984, baptized in '85 (six month wonder!). Doubts from the beginning (never agreed with the blood issue since multiple transfusions saved my life and my unborn child long before this point) but decided to go with it because I felt they were right on so many other issues. It wasn't long before I started seeing the wrong. God doesn't deal with individuals only organizations?? What the...??? Started to see holes in the "love among themselves" when people were disfellowshipped instead of helped. Always having to do more to be approved by God. On and on I could go but it would be pointless and would just start to make me angry again and I don't want to waste my energy on that. Anyway, I started the leave in 1995 but it took a full 3 years before I could finally tell my spouse that I didn't want to be a JW anymore. It was hell at home for the next couple of years until we finally divorced. Since that time, life has not been easy but even now, the worst day I have is better than the best day as a JW. I'm not beset by doubts anymore. My life is mine! No longer face the scrutiny of elders or fellow JW's for not doing enough.
To those of who want to leave but feel they can't, my heart goes out to you. "Only be strong and very brave".
