by mentallyfree31 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
When you were a witness, were you happy or miserable?
I feel like I was pretty happy for over 20 of the 25 years. Only the last 5 years and especially the last 1-2 years did I really burn out and just wasn't that into it. Of course, when I say happy I refer to how I would have rated my happiness if somebody had asked me during that time. As a mind controlled robot, I had really convinced myself that I was happy for the first 20 years.
How did you feel?
-mentallyfree31-
28 years as a JW I can not remember one happy moment...28 years of constant fear, "Am I pleasing Jehovah today?" and just when I thought I wouldn't be destroyed at the big A a Convention would come around and remind me how much I wasn't doing enough to please Jehovah...
Well- when I first was raised in it as a child I was happy- because I really believed I would never die ! Thought I'd play with the animals in the alleged " paradise " ! But the older I grew in this system and ended up getting married, having my own children ( which I was told wouldn't happen until the paradise ! ) I got more and more disillusioned with the WT organization's false promises. By the time I was 30 in 1989 - I pretty much gave up on the Paradise coming. I knew something was up.
So all through the 1990's and until 2003 I wasn't very happy in the cult, because secretly I didn't believe it. But out of fear of what my then JW wife thought, or JW family - I didn't make a stand until 2003 after suffering injustices from elders. My moment of truth or epiphany came and like a pencil snapping- all that bottled up doubt caused me to snap. I HAD to get out for my mental and emotional well being. I've been so much happier these last 6 and a half years ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
Is this a rhetorical question?
StAnn
There were definetly periods I can look back now and say that I was actually very depressed but at the time thought I was just down for whatever reason: not being able to sleep in on one partifcular Saturday morning, having a talk I didn't feel like writing up for, etc. It wasn't till I was finally out for good that I truly came into a good place and realized that life can be enjoyable 24/7 and not just on non-meeting nights.
Twenty-six years later and I can say I am surely filled with happiness now more than ever.Plus it helps that I am in my new apartment with a writing desk that overlooks a large window..ah life is great
I have to say for the most part I was happy, I was with people that appreciated the earth as I did. Then they had to go an ruin it!!!
I don't think they changed, I did. I grew up and realized it was all a fairy tale. Man made at that.
But I took the love for the earth and what's in it with me.
I can do without the bugs tho...lol
Snoozy-less tonight..
I definitely remember some happy times...but I remember some painful ones too and in the end they were all painful...
Loz x
Brought up with threats of killer gods and demons, surrounded by people who were minions of Satan and were all going to die soon so don't bother forming any relationships with them.
The 'happy times' were when I had managed to blank out the WT's Donald Duck killer god that went loopy when Huey, Dewey and Louie got out of line.
It took a bit of doing, I can tell you!
If someone tries to tell you that doomsday cultists are harmless nut-jobs, they need psychiatric help before they involve themselves in damaging innocent children.
Cheers
Chris
You know its always a mix. There were good friends and good times and then it all changed and they changed or chose to stay.
The hardest part was listening to GB members, with the exception of Dan Sydlik, who just continually berated the friends.
Flogging Molly...........
Part of the process of getting healthy was realizing you didn't have to sit for it anymore and there were better things to do in life.
being raised and born into the cult made most of my childhood a complete misery, the walkabout years when my folks let me have nothing to do with anything Dub related was great, I baptized in 1987 at 21 and there were some brief moment's of happiness and good times I had some very good friends, but the years of marriage from 1990-95 were back to real misery culminating to a real crash in 1994. So all in all the unhappy times outnumbered the happy ones.
