In the beginning, I was in a state of euphoria.
Near the end, I was almost catatonic.
Syl
Were You A Happy JW or An Unhappy One?
by mentallyfree31 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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mindmelda
Except for a few memorable times when I felt I actually belonged, pretty darn miserable through most of it. One of the few good times was when I met my husband, who was introduced to me by another Witness, although he wasn't one, not yet. LOL He's a plumber and he was helping them remodel their kitchen.
I got so in trouble(called in for an elder's meeting and chewed out, of course) for marrying "out of the truth"; he went to meetings, although not baptized, and was studying here and there.
He's the only good thing I really ever got out of being associated with Witnesses all those years and I had to break a rule to get him! Tells you something about this bag o' crap religion. You have to tell them to go piss up a rope to get anything good out of it.
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ziddina
MISerable... Absolutely miserable... Didn't want to be in the cult AT ALL, but the beatings/hitting/kicking/slappings that I received from my manic-depressive father - and the psychological abuse from my manic-depressive mother - bullied me into the religion...
I was SO relieved to get out in my early '30's, and sure wished I'd taken the plunge and gotten out MUCH earlier...
Zid
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mentallyfree31
Thanks everybody for your comments!
-mentallyfree31-
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freeflyingfaerie
I was mostly happy-go-lucky when I was believing.. ignoring 'negative' talk and glossing over 'faults' (hypocrisy and abuse). ( ignoring so as to not blow my entire belief system from birth), always wanting to walk right into Paradise ...soft lush carpet of grass...everyone hugging and being kind to one another...frolicking in the meadows...swimming with the dolphins..no starving babies..all sunshine and love and peace..it was going to happen, we just didn't know the exact moment..
I really thought I had the best of friends, special, faithful people...wow, how blessed I was to be raised in The Truth, God's very own religion here on earth.
When i divorced at around 30, (not adultery), I still clung to my support, took comfort from family and friends that knew me from birth. but once the dust began to settle there i was ...looking around at the meetings no longer as my refuge, no more the ultimate brotherhood. I was dying as a JW. It wasn't in my heart to live for tommorrow any longer. There was no joy in it. I still love so many of them, but didn't relate anymore. It didn't fit anymore. It was still a sort of happiness...because it was a new self-discovery. There was a secret inside that grew to become too big to ignore. The secret was that I was falling out of love with The Truth. And when I thought of all the possibilities outside those walls, it drew a smile on my face.
One foot in front of the other ... out of the KH never to return.
Tangent...so i admit, this was my very own personal therapy session ..thanks for listening