Anxious about meeting...

by gutted 25 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  gutted

  Hi all,

  I know there are other topics related to this, I started one earlier similar to this but here goes anyway.

  So I skipped a couple of meetings of the CO visit to hang out with some "worldly" friends and we went out of town. I think some of my closer "friends" at the hall found out from my family and now I am dreading going to the next meeting and hearing their encouring "where were you!?".. it fills me with anxiety. I still think it's best I still go to some meetings and fade out during the summer, a couple of circumstances dictate I still do this, though I would love never going to another meeting or field service arrangement again.

  I think I'll just tell the truth, "yeah went out with some friends" but that would raise big red flags in their minds and no doubt lead to further questions.

  I hate to ask for advice again on this topic, but please...

  I guess this still shows I am still under the mind control of the group, I'm working mentally to break away.
• 

  yknot

  Better to make a completely break than rush through and still have lingering mental attachments!

  Okay so you are at the Sunday Meeting......

  JW: Where were you Gutted, you missed yadda yadda yadda and what a fine point Brother CO made about yadda yadda yadda.

  Gutted: Well that does indeed sound *interesting*.......

  From there you can make an excuse, use misdirection or just be direct.

  Misdirection: Draw JW attention to the 'fine counsel or point you appreciated' in the PT or WTstudy and move away from the topic of you missing the meetings by going on and on about the point.

  Excuse: Yea well something came up and I went out of town...... this isn't really the place or time to talk about such things...... and than head into misdirection to move the conversation away from you missing the meetings

  Direct: I was out of town. (That is it nothing more.....just the fact they are 'entitled' to) than misdirect by using Sunday's commentary or ask about what you missed at those meetings....

  _______________________________________________________________________________

  Our CO isn't coming back for awhile so I don't know the second round of talks......

  If SOMEBODY can tell me the titles I will check around for some MP3s to help Gutted out......
• 

  leavingwt

  "Some personal business came up and I had to take care of it. I appreciate your understanding in this matter."
• 

  asilentone

  I like yknot's excuse suggestion!
• 

  asilentone

  leavingwt's suggestion is also a good one.
• 

  gutted

  Great suggestions I will use for sure. I like the direct approach yknot and leavingwt made. I think I'll go with "Yes, I was out of town... but hey what did I miss, anything new from the CO, what should I be working on this time?"

  I was also thinking if some elders ask me more on what is going on, why am I missing meetings etc. I will go with "I am going through some issues right now, which I don't wish to discuss at this time" possibly followed by "but I appreciate your concern and will get in touch with you if I need to talk them through".

  I hope that will make it easier, thanks again guys.
• 

  undercover

  Back when I was in, I would have beat around the bush and never really answered the question. There is no good way to deal with it, if you're trying to sit on the fence for the time being.

  But if you have to lie, don't feel bad about it...just think of it as Theocratic Strategy. Just make sure your story is believable and can't be busted.
• 

  cantleave

  We have had a spontaneous visit this evening from a couple, good friends, genuine people. Our meeting attendance (or lack of) was like the elephant in the room, eluded to but not discussed. It didn't cause any anxiety for me or nugget, in fact it gave me a reason to have a couple of beers.
• 

  serenitynow!

  "where were you serenitynow?" Me- "I was somewhere minding my own business." That's how I answer. Or as my father used to answer when we tried that "where are you going" stuff, "I'm going whereever grown people go."

  It is not encouraging for people to demand where you were and what you were doing on any given day. If they were great close friends they would know where you were already, and probably been with you.
• 

  serenitynow!

  "in this matter."

  leaving, that phrase makes me smile. Total JW cult lingo, have used it myself.