by gutted 25 Replies latest jw experiences
There's always the ole standby...
"we missed you. Where were you?"
"I was sick"
"Oh that's too bad, you missed the COs visit"
"Yea, but I didn't want to bring all my germs here and get everyone sick"
"Maybe you can catch him at the next congregation (across the city)?"
"Hey...that's a good idea. I'm going to do that"
And then you miss all next week's meetings again...
Unfortunately I can't do that one undercover, my fam already told people I was away and I actually texted a "friend" back telling them what I was doing when I was on my way back... a mistake I will not make again. I can just see my "friends" faces feeling superior when they see me knowing it was not a legitimate reason to go by any means... sigh. They prob already know it was with worldy people, hence my anxiety. At the time I followed my values of honesty, if only the WTS was honest with us.
just say ... "... I know, I wasn't able to make it, what did I miss? wouldn't it be nice sometimes to be able to be in two places at the same time?" ....
DEFLECT! You don't owe excuses or explanations.
My skitzo mindset (ha) is already constructing ideas they told an elder or two and they want to talk to me... I really HATE the oppresive feeling of the meetings, have for a long time, even before searching the internet on JWs.
WTF are they going to do? Just tell them they were plans you had made and already paid for and couldn't change. Ot don't tell anyone anything. Just say "I was out of town." If someone calls you on it and says "you were having fun with worldly people" just don't answer. Don't even engage. I like the "It was good to chat, but I need to go see so and so before they leave"
WTF are they going to do? Just tell them they were plans you had made and already paid for and couldn't change. Ot don't tell anyone anything. Just say "I was out of town." If someone calls you on it and says "you were having fun with worldly people" just don't answer.
Yea... it's not like they've got two witnesses or anything.
You're much too honest for this crazy religion. If you're gonna fade, you're gonna hafta to learn to at least stretch the truth, if not outright lie and lie from time to time. In addition, you're gonna hafta stand your ground and not let anyone walk all over you.
There is a point where even as a fader you say, "Enough. Leave me alone."
Since everybody already knows and there's a big scarlet letter "A" on your chest, maybe you can just go ahead and fade. Make excuses to your family, that you're just too embarrassed, everyone will harass you, etc. for awhile and then stop discussing it completely. Fade complete.
StAnn
Oops, I've got a better idea. Tell them you heard about all of the changes to the ever-expanding Generation and you've been stumbled by it. It's just all so confusing, you need time to pray about this and see if you can go on because it seems like the WTS may have lied to you all back in 1995 and then again in 2008. Cry a lot, spend some time "studying" the Insight book.
StAnn
gutted,
It is precisely this type of 'anxiety' that makes it unacceptable for me to even think of visiting the hall. I greatly resent any activity that causes me to have the slightest flutter in my stomach. This is why I didn't visit to hear the special talk they had soon after the memorial. I had anxiety over what I would say to the busybodies who I knew would be lying in wait to ask me all kinds of questions.
After almost ten years into a 'fade' I have no tolerance for this. It would be a different thing to feel this kind of anxiety if you were going on something important like a job interview.
But, for some stupid religion? nope.
Powerful thought notverylikely, I don't have to reply if I don't want to. StAnn, sounds very tempting...
While re-reading these posts again, making some notes, serenitynows "I was somewhere minding my own business" sounds too amazingly tempting... should I dare? Again they probably already know what I was up to but yeah...
This has really helped, I'm kind of on a bit of a rollercoaster thinking about it. I think I'll just play it off the cuff, I'm starting to realize it doesn't really matter what I am going to say in the end, won't be around much longer.
