How important is it to love someone in your life?

by Mindchild 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  Mindchild

  How important is it to have someone special in your life?

  When I was a regular pioneer, I was constantly hearing that I should put off getting involved with any romantic relationships because I would want to spend all my time with my new love, and I would give up serving as a pioneer.

  After I left the Borg’s cuckoo’s nest, I still had to put off getting romantically involved in long-term relationships because of wanting to be a full time college student. Later in life, I put off involvement again because of career options. It seems you are always faced with big choices and compromises in your life goals to make time for a good relationship.

  Have any of you experienced the same problem? How do you tell when it is intellectually worth it to drop your other life goals and go full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes or is it just an emotional decision based on how lonely you feel?

  Skipper
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  Sky

  I dont think anything else in life, is exciting or rewarding, without someone you love to share it with...
  Kisses,
  Sky
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  Fredhall

  Mindchild,

  I didn't face the same problem as you. Why? Because I'm full of love.
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  beepers

  For me, there came a point, when I just wanted to have someone to share all of those special moments with.
  Hope this helps:)

  Amy
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  Lindy

  I have found that most people need others in their lives to some degree, but some don't need the one on one real close relationship. Depends on the individual and also depends on such factors as to how they were raised, whether other things in their lives are more important, and the time period in their lives. Things change and this needs might change too.
  I guess you will know when it is the right time for this. You made choices to put this off. You make a choice to bring it forth to be a more important priority when you are ready to. You might be ready since you are now questioning it. Only you know. Trust yourself. You left the borg, so you know what is right for you.

  Lindy
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  MrMoe

  A life without love can be an empty one, that is just my two cents. To discourage marriage for the sake of putting your religious organization first is very sad, but I never paid any attention to it myself.
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  more2C

  I think it is very important to love. Love anybody and everybody. When I was in the truth, I met several brothers who were interesting, for the moment, then our relationships turned to friendship. Now that I'm single, I regret not having more serious relationships. (It was frowned upon in the truth.) It seems nice that you can have someone to live and share your life with. My point is that one should never stop loving. My friends and family fill some void with the loneliness. Right now, finding a special someone is hard. But, I am not pressuring myself into relationships. If something happens that's great, if not, that's fine with me, too.

  We all "love" you too, Fred.

  more2C
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  Satanus

  Glad fred is here to demonstrate to all what real love is.

  Mindchild

  I'm glad you brought this up. I have been wondering about this subject for weeks. During these non jw years, i have noticed that guys who spent a period of their life having sex w many different girls are now more tolerant, bigger hearted (should i say more 'loving' and being a real freind?) than the ridgidly moralistic types. I guess the question could be asked, were they sexually promiscuous because they were more loving to start w, or are they more loving as a result of giving/recieving love from different sexual partners.

  SS also looking for enlightenment
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  Celtic

  I only feel like half a person without her, whoever she may be. One tries to make life feel whole, but something is missing, a companion to trust, someone whose body warmth I may feel at night and breathe life's soul as one. To look into her eyes and share innermost trust with compassion and caring, these things twould be very nice, but it isn't the case, so, stop dreaming you ole bean Mark.

  Mindchild, yam ole balmpot you, why'd you have to ask this, as fast as I think I'm doing ok independently, you remind me of whats really missing from my life, all is great botherations indeed.

  I mean, how much psychic disposal interweaving must I participate within to find this lass, tis getting quite daft.

  I might as well become a monk and sit aloft a mountain.

  From one old soul to another

  Peace

  Celtic
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  Mindchild

  Saint Satan asked:

  i have noticed that guys who spent a period of their life having sex w many different girls are now more tolerant, bigger hearted (should i say more 'loving' and being a real freind?) than the ridgidly moralistic types. I guess the question could be asked, were they sexually promiscuous because they were more loving to start w, or are they more loving as a result of giving/recieving love from different sexual partners.

  That is an interesting question but I have to admit first of all that there are many men who have only had one sexual partner who are very loving, tolerant, and growing. Having said this, looking at my own experience of having multiple partners since I’ve been out, I tend to agree with you that it does change a man a lot in time. You come to realize the value of having say sex with feelings and sex without and you learn feelings wins hands down. You also begin to see that even though people are different we generally are all looking for someone to love us, care for us, and to build something together. I’ve really only met few women who were just strictly into just sex who didn’t have the hope that there might be something between us that would lead to something more lasting and higher quality than just great sex. I think for us guys, who are often slower in realizing our emotional needs that repeated exposure to this near universal pair bonding instinct tends to give us a wakeup call. Even some married women who have affairs are often looking for passion, love, and romance that has slipped out of their own lives.

  So, I don’t think it is so much sexual experience itself, but intimate exposure to several women that helps us grow some. I could be wrong but this is my guess.

  Skipper