Quick one-liners to explain why you haven't been to meetings (page 3)

sooner7nc

(1) A dog ate my Watchtower.

(2) I HAVE been to the meeting. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? (I actually used this one and was met with a blank stare)

(3) Que? No Habla Englas

nancy drew

evidently in my flash forward I saw myself throwing away my mags,books,bookbag and my dresses and I felt really good so I decided to get started working toward my future.

palmtree67

I found a guy down the street from me who gives garage sermons every Wed night and Sat morn.

"Grab a beer and repent, you sinners!"

cyberjesus

I have been so drunk that I ve ended up in the catholic church instead

serenitynow!

"2) I HAVE been to the meeting. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? (I actually used this one and was met with a blank stare)"

I've found that works for any missed occasion.

cantleave

I'm exhibiting Tourettes which makes me shout out "Bullsh*t" at inappropriate times..............

twinkle toes

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

Mohandas Gandhi

tt

Finally-Free

Here are a few responses I used in the past.

"I missed you at the meeting".
"Thank you. I'm touched."

"I didn't see you at the meeting."
"That's becauase I wasn't there."

"I didn't see you on Sunday."
"I didn't see you either."

"You weren't at the meeting on Tuesday."
"I am cognizant of that."

Ok, maybe I sounded like I was being a jerk, but I used these kind of responses to people who almost never acknowledged my existence. Had I been at the meetings they wouldn't have spoken to me anyway. Finding fault and expressing it was their only intention in speaking to me, so there was no reason for me to be forthcoming with information. They should be glad I was even polite.

W

Quick one-liners to explain why you haven't been to meetings

MMXIV