Dump her or take her down a notch.....find new friends who are less Witness-like.
What now....
by broops100 13 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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jwfacts
Welcome. I too felt like I was mourning a death when I left, but it passes with time.
I also relate to your comment about being a people pleaser rather than being the real you. I used to think this was a commendable quality, but realise now that it is not at all. Even people pleasers don't please everyone. You end up not being respected and let yourself down in the process. I am behind in my career for being a people pleaser, where I expected to be ahead. So start being true to yourself.
Don't fear being lonely. Life is not a popularity contest, even though I was alway made to feel that my self worth was indicated by the number of friends I had. It is better to get out there and do the things you enjoy and in the process you will find like minded friends.
I would advise though not to rush into losing you job and friend. There is plenty of time to move on and find alternatives.
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jamiebowers
It's normal for you to be attracted to a toxic friend right after leaving the cult. It's kind of the same dynamic of a girl marrying a man just like her father when that father was an abusive drunk. There are tons of things to do and ways to meet new people. Give it some time and effort. Welcome to JWN!
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noni1974
I had a friend just like that. She had a comment on everyone else I was friends with and went out of her way to judge me at every turn. No matter what was going on in my life she always felt she knew best. I finally dropped her like a lead balloon a few years ago. I didn't need her to be bringing me down all the time.
She never like anyone I ever dated. She hated all my other friends and would never hang out with them. She always told me I was stupid. She was very judgemental and it got on my last never one night. I let her have it. I did not hold back at all. We haven't spoken since. That was almost 4 years ago.
If you want to keep this person in your life you need to develop a voice and tell her to knock her crap off. If she can't handle you growing a spine then drop her. Believe me friends are not that hard to make. Look at work and see if there might be anyone you could hang out with. All you have to do is look around you and see if there might be someone you can hang with. You can develop deeper friendships later if need be.
The most important thing is to be your own best friend and get rid of anyone who has nothing good to say. These people leach the life out of you one day at a time. The more power you give them, the more power they think they have. Take your power back and tell your friend to stuff it or get out of your life.