Stop beating yourself up and cut your losses. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Yeah, but isn't it cheaper to keep her? Besides, something must be wrong with my rod--I'm not attractin' any keepers!
Fight with wife over watching Avatar escalates to near-separation--true story
by sd-7 108 Replies latest jw friends
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sd-7
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bohm
sd7 - in what way is it cheaper? your beating yourself up constantly over this completely brainwashed psycho - are you hoping she will wake up? become normal? how many years are you willing to waste waiting for that?
get out now. you are young, you have a job - you will meet someone else who actually love and respect you, and have your own family. it sure dosnt sound like you got a family now....
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sd-7
At least we know we'd both qualify, what with our basic writing skills and all.
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sd-7
bohm--I don't know. I might've been the same way in a different year. ... I'm trying so hard not to inflict any more harm on anyone, but it just seems to backfire. I think maybe it's best to seriously distance myself from other people for good, before more people get hurt as she has.
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Mary
She made it clear that this was all conditional love on her part, she was expecting a JW husband, though she acquired said husband via breaking JW rules and sweeping it under the rug, then selling said husband up the river to save her own skin. I loved her as a person, beyond the religion, beyond anything else. I find it tragic that that love is a one-way street because of this cult.
She deserves better than a life of sorrow with me. I failed her, dishonored her, betrayed her. I don't belong in her life. Maybe she can find someone better who will take better care of her in Jehovah's way. Yes, I just said "in Jehovah's way". No, I don't care if it's cult terminology
sd-7, sorry to say this hon, but your wife sounds like a total bitch and she is playing you for a sucker. STOP apologizing!!! I can understand trying to make a marriage work, but sorry---she's far more interested in appearances by her wanting a "JW husband" than what she is in trying to make the marriage work. It's not your biological child, she doesn't work and all she can do is whine and complain about Avatar and dumunz coming to get her!! Good lord. I say let her go and marry a good little Dub hubby. Maybe she'll get one who beats the living shit out of her.
And you seriously need to talk to a professional counsellor. Not because you're crazy but because you're so down on yourself all the time. You think your wife doesn't see that and plays it right up?? I'm glad you see the religion for what it truly is, but you seem to be in the limbo stage: not wanting to go back but unwilling to let go. She is going to make your life a living hell if you decide to stay.
Just my two cents.
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bohm
sd-7: Do you look forward to going home for work? Does you and your wife share any hobbies or interests? when was the last time you did something "fun" together? (sex does not count)
The stuff about inflicting harm and so on - well i just dont buy it. your not the problem, she is. it would take a miracle for your relationship to get back in order and hey, jehovah wants to kill you for seing avatar so thats not exactly likely.
And suppose the miracle does occur and she stop being an emotionally abusive bitch who does not respect you at all - you can still find back together again.
update
Iwe been in a semi-abusive relationship with a real bitch once for 11 months, and she was the sweetest and smartest person on her good days, and on other days she would tear me a new one for saying the word 'postman' or cook her food the wrong way. You live in a kind of daze right now where you think YOU are the one who need to change and if you just stick out for a month or two more something will change - well, it aint gonna happend, whats going to happend is you leave each other and you will wake up one day and realize the majority she brought to you life was anger, abuse, bitchyness and a really poor attitude, and i assure you, it will be a GREAT day.
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Jadeen
If my husband treated me like that- withholding sex, telling me about how I never do anything right, criticizing all the little things that I say, watch, and read- I'd leave him.
Yeah, it's a lot easier to say than do. You have to ask yourself that famous Ann Lander's question:
Are you better off with her or without her?
Or consider separating for a while- maybe that would give her the kick in the butt she needs to see how lucky she has it.
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Nathan Natas
Do you want a medal for being a human sacrifice?
Here:
Probably you really NEED to see a therapist who can prescribe an antidepressant for you. (A psychiatrist.)
You need to discuss with him why you are drawn like a moth to doomed relationships with needy women. (I re-read your first post from 10 months ago.)
Personally, I'd rather be alone than have what you've got now. You've never really been on your own - you went from Momma's house to THIS mockery of a relationship.
You need to split. Exit, stage left!
She and her kid will qualify for welfare as soon as you leave; they aren't your problem. Let her experience the loving provisions of Jah.
Change your identity if you must, spend some time in a Zen monastery if you must, but find YOURSELF.
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Nathan Natas
Making this change won't be EASY. You'll have to man up.
The discomfort will be temporary and will fade with time.
Wishing you were dead is not a sign of a happy life.
