My wife and I was talking about one of the talks that they had concerning marriage and how each spouse is suppose to put the other spouse first and that as long as both spouses did this, it would work out for the greater good of the marriage.
I agreed but added a point in that sometimes, either because of human frailties on the part of your spouse or some other reason, you spouse may not be fulfilling all your needs and sometimes you will just need to take care of your own needs. I tried to emphasize that this did not mean placing your needs ahead of the marriage or family or even your spouses, but simply sometimes we need to take care of our own needs and not always expect the spouse to do it for us.
She did not like the 'tone' and 'attitude' of my remark and when I brought up an example, it really set her off.
The example had to do with birthdays. Since my wife is a witness, obviously she will not be throwing me a party, at least don't expect her too. Therefore, I just said that when my birthday rolls around, I would probably have to take care of getting my own self a 'birthday present' as crazy and somewhat selfish as that sounds. I don't see too many alternatives.
She told me that if I only took the time to research why birthdays are so bad then I would understand why it is best to stay away from them. So I asked her what makes them so bad. She would not say, claiming that I would just simply dismiss it as Watchtower reasoning. I asked her to explain it anyway and she still refused. So I said, well, if you are speaking of the reasons why birthdays should not be celebrated then according to the Watchtower the only times that birthdays were recorded in the Bible was when ungodly men were celebrating them and in both cases, someone lost a head. Also, according to the reasoning book, sometime in the far far distant past, blowing out candles originated with the belief that some fairy or other spirit was suppose to grant your wish. Then I concluded by saying, "But what does that have to do with today?"
She told me that I needed to do more research but I was like, why? I did not see the harm in birthdays but if there is more to it than that, she me the proof. She still would not, saying that I needed to research it like I was busying myself researching 607 B.C.E.. I told her that she was shifting the burden on me and that since she made the assertion, she needed to back it up. She got livid and started talking over me and telling me that I only believe what I want to believe, etc.. I knew the situation was getting ugly when my wife was getting visibly upset so I started apologizing. Even my daughter said that I made her upset, which I acknowledged and said that I was sorry, then I changed the subject.
We talked about it later and it turns out (much as I suspected) that my wife thinks that by my meeting my needs for celebrating my own birthday that I was somehow not putting the marriage first. I explained to her that I was in no way going to do something that would compromise the marriage and told her that I did not see it being any different than a woman going to pamper herself at a spa or getting a manicure / pedicure. It was harmless to me but it rattled her cage.
She apparently does not like my questioning the Society teachings and gets an attitude with me when I said that even though she does not celebrate Christmas, I would still buy her a Christmas gift regardless (like I did last Christmas). Her coworker and I even threw her a surprise birthday party this year which she thoroughly enjoyed.
My mother and I also threw her a surprise baby shower and come to find out later that one of her aunts did not attend because she happened to see some of my wife's friends wish her a happy birthday on my wife's facebook page. I sent her aunt a message concerning that tonight so I am waiting for the fireworks to start. My wife and her mom think the real reason why her aunt did not attend had more to do with the fact that she did not have a present to bring.
I swear, Jehovah's Witnesses can be some real nuts sometimes.