Christians, Is it okay for engaged couples to have sex before marriage?

by asilentone 67 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  StAnn

  "you wouldn't buy a car with out taking it for a test drive would you?"

  OMG. A person with whom you want to spend your entire life is not a thing, a car, an object to be purchased. So, if the person is not good in the sack, does that mean they have absolutely no other qualities that would cause you to want to spend eternity with them? What if they are loving and kind and respectful toward you? Is that negated by a lack of sexual skill? And what if they are very good in the sack but they fail in dozens of other ways? Does that mean you would keep them and ignore all of the bad traits just for the good sex?

  People aren't commodities. I would be hurt if someone wanted to be with me just for sex with no regard for anything else I had to offer them. Excuse me but I think this whole "test drive" attitude is very shallow and disappointing.

  I'd love to see what the women on this group would say if their men said to them, "Honey, you're not very smart and you're not very pretty. You don't bring home the bacon and you can't cook it either. You're a lousy mother and you've got hygiene issues. But, hey, I'm only with you because you're great in the sack so none of that matters anyway. Roll over and spread 'em."
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  nicolaou

  Christians (or any other faith groups) who condemn sex before marriage clearly do not place a high enough value on marriage. In strict religious communities like the JW's, Mormons, Christadelphians etc, marriage amongst teens becomes common. Why? Because it is a license to have sex!

  The Bible itself encourages this view; "(1 Corinthians 7:9) . . .if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to be inflamed [with passion]."

  Marriage is so much more valuable and precious than that, the Christian approach demeans it.

  Why do you place a higher value on sex than on marriage?!
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  cantleave

  I think engaged couples should have lots of sex, with other people to learn the best techniques . Oh I'm not a Christian either.
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  Quillsky

  On the side of "no premarital sex," any one who has ever had really good, mind-blowing sex knows that it impairs your judgment. So there you are, brain-addled from multiple orgasms, and you decide to spend the rest of your life with this guy/gal. Premarital sex impedes your ability to make clear headed decisions and, during this period where you're having the best sex of your life, you decide to spend the rest of your life with this person? You're not in a mental position to be able to sign legal documents or enter into contracts, I mean, come on! Then you get married and discover there is more to marriage than just sex and, OMG, this person doesn't even speak English! You never noticed because moaning sounds the same in any language.
  
  Hence, premarital sex leads to divorce.

  Thanks for the good laugh, St Ann. How's your novel-writing career going?
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  keyser soze

  You're not in a mental position to be able to sign legal documents or enter into contracts, I mean, come on! Then you get married and discover there is more to marriage than just sex and, OMG, this person doesn't even speak English! You never noticed because moaning sounds the same in any language.

  I don't quite understand your reasoning. If they aren't compatible in any other way, why would they be engaged in the first place? I'm assuming we're talking about people who have been together for quite some time, not people who just met in a bar.
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  wobble

  I think sex before marriage is O.K, as long as it doesn't make you late for the Ceremony.
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  exwhyzee

  "You wouldn't buy a car without taking it on a test drive, would you?"

  I would rather buy a new car if at all possible....If I do buy a used one, It's because I need a car right now and cant wait till I have enought to buy the one I really want !

  "You wouldn' buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first"

  But who wants to buy used shoes?

  As difficult as it is...the couple obeying the "no sex" before marrige law,(IMHO) is better off in the long run as they have avoided unwanted pregnancy, venereal diesease and have tested their relationship to see what it is truly based on.

  I was the weak one during our engagement. If it had not been for her strength... we wouldn't have made it down the asile without breaking this law. Although she truly wanted to... with quiet reslove she insisted on waiting because she believed it was the best thing to do. I have always admired her strength and determination in this and have always been able to trust her in everything from the very beginning. She's still that way 30 years later.
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  Jadeen

  the couple obeying the "no sex" before marrige law,(IMHO) is better off in the long run as they have avoided unwanted pregnancy, venereal diesease and have tested their relationship to see what it is truly based on.

  But all these things could happen after a couple has married.
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  exwhyzee

  But all these things could happen agter a couple has married

  I would have to assume that if one is obeying God's laws about sex between unmarried persons, the issue of venereal diesease wouldn't be arise unless one had contracted a diesease some other way other than sexually. If a venereal disease is contracted after marriage...well someone has been breaking Gods laws on fornication.

  As far as unwanted pregnancy. If this happened to a married couple, at least the child would have two parents who are already committed to eachother leagally and otherwise. Typically an unwanted pregnancy outside of marriage would be less desirable than one that occured within a marriage.
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  GLTirebiter

  Excuse me but I think this whole "test drive" attitude is very shallow and disappointing

  I agree. The "test drive" attitude is disrepectful to your partner, and smacks of conditional love: "I want you only if you're good in bed, otherwise forget it!" What's next? "If you love me, buy a bigger house." "If you love me, you'll do what I say to do." Love isn't about what somebody does for you, it's about who they are and their value as a person.

  I don't expect today's youth to understand any better than I did at their age; having a teen-aged daughter to worry about brings an amazing clarity to this issue!