I've never understood why people would choose to have kids

by gubberningbody 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • AGuest
    AGuest

    Omigosh. I simply cannot imagine my life without my children, right now (may you all have peace!). My husband and I once talked about "needing" other people. His philosophy at the time (when we were "dating") is that he didn't "need" anyone, people shouldn't need anyone. While I understood this proclamation of self-sufficiency, I had to confess to him that I certainly needed at least a couple of people: my children. Thinking that he was going to set me straight on the matter, he asked me, "What do you need them for?" It took me only a few seconds to know: I told him that I needed them to breathe.

    He was confused for a second... and so was I: where did THAT answer come from? I really didn't quite know what I meant. And then I did and I told him: I needed them to breathe. Because if anything happened to them... I would stop breathing. My heart would break SO much... that it would take me years, if ever, to learn to breathe... fully... again.

    I did tell him that, yes, I knew I WOULD learn to breathe again, but the pain that my body and spirit would experience in the meantime... while learning... would be almost unbearable... and it would take some time... years. Perhaps decades.

    I meant that then... and I mean it now: for me, my two children are at least two things that are right with this world... in the face of all that is wrong with it. And so, I live for them... and because of them... by the grace of God and Christ. And very gladly so. They were and are my motivation and my inspiration... for everything good that I do, including but not limited to trying to look for God. I wanted THEM to know Him... and be known by Him... and so I had to find Him... be found BY Him... for THEIR sakes.

    Would have I lived/survived had I never had them? Of course, I would have. And it pretty much would have been about me... and that's okay, too. But I did have them and now that they are here, now that they HAVE come into the world... the world will NEVER be the same for me... without them. Either one of them. Ever.

    And every single person here who has children understand this truth. Because unlike a spouse, a parent, or a sibling... a child IS you.. You... in yet another body. It's the closest thing you can get to a clone.

    If one doesn't like one's children, one might start by looking at oneself first. Because one's child is usually a reflection of all that is good about one... and well as all that is bad about one. It is only after one looks at oneself, however, that one can know that child, indeed understand him/her, so as to know, definitively, whether the child is TRULY a "bad seed."

    Again, I bid you all peace.

    A slave of Christ,

    SA

  • sabastious
    sabastious

    "Why would I ever want to go outside? The sun's rays are harmul to my skin, cars on the roads have BUILT in blind spots and cats could scratch me and give me an infection..."

    -Sab

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    It is better than being a billionaire.

    Have you ever been a billionaire Terry :)

    -Sab

  • StAnn
    StAnn

    Funny, I've never really understood why people would choose NOT to have kids, for the most part.

    Kids change you, they transform you for the better. My oldest is 27 and I adore him. I couldn't imagine life without my boys.

  • Snoozy
    Snoozy

    After the week I have had with my kids...... (they are in their 50's lol)

    I can understand why animals eat their young!!!

    Snoozy

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    I don't understand having kids either,If you had a 50% chance of passing on a fatal disease would you do it well we have a 100% chance of passing on death. Our children deserve answers to the meaning of life well I don't have a good anwer & not for want of trying. Do you think the planet is going to become peaceful & lovely & environmentally well anytime soon NO!

    so just because I would like someone like me to play with I should subject them to this? I don't know who is pulling the strings to this world and I don't see that it ever was meant to be anything other than a death planet.

    I have very little control over the situation but what I can do is not add anymore human fodder to their cannons. So "as for me and my household we will not serve the lords"

  • THE GLADIATOR
    THE GLADIATOR

    I t behooves us to be mindful of gubberningbody's words of caution that echo the fine admonition give by the Society regarding this time of the end.

    At the 1987 summer assemblies, the pressure to avoid parenthood, or better still marriage, began to be applied again at the stadiums around the world. Later the Watchtower contained two articles and a mong the many pages of advice and direction they stated:

    “While Paul (the Apostle) forbade neither marriage nor childbearing, he obviously felt duty bound to warn his fellow Christians that such could bring about problems and distractions that might hinder them in their service to Jehovah…. Obviously, rearing children in the time of the end would not always be a pure joy. It could bring heartbreak, disappointment, and even danger.”

    Responsible Childbearing in This Time of the End

    “Second, they doubtless felt disinclined to bring children into a world where the badness of man was abundant in the earth….” Childbearing Among God’s People

    With the end so much closer this advice is more appropriate than ever!

  • BurnTheShips
    BurnTheShips

    To love and be loved is the greatest experience in life.

    The love a parent has for their children is, in my opinion, the greatest love a human being can experience.

    Children are a hassle and a heartache, but some have already mentioned the joys of it here.

    I am very happy I finally had my family when leaving the borg. It is worth more to me than any money, or fame. Words cannot describe the pleasure, purpose and satisfaction of holding my little ones in my arms.

    BTS

  • sammielee24
    sammielee24

    Loving other people, loving children as much as yourself, does not necessarily mean that you have to bear your own to do so. In fact, when we hand out a trophy for people procreating, it demeans others in an attempt to raise up your own value. The idea that you must bear your own child in order to feel a complete and total love for a child, is telling of the bias that people instill in their own offspring. You see it in some cultures where women are shunned because they cannot have a child - or a man is made to feel less a man because he can't produce a child. For some it is not a choice - it's an avenue they walk because it's expected they will do so.

    I can understand why people can choose either way - sammieswife

  • sabastious
    sabastious
    I don't understand having kids either,If you had a 50% chance of passing on a fatal disease would you do it well we have a 100% chance of passing on death. Our children deserve answers to the meaning of life well I don't have a good anwer & not for want of trying. Do you think the planet is going to become peaceful & lovely & environmentally well anytime soon NO!

    I'm pretty sure this is the Watchtower Organization's words. I would suggest really looking into those negative ideas about the world around us. The Watchtower froths at the mouth when tragedy or crisis hits this world and the people in it.

    In the scheme of human history we live in a remarkable time period in a remarkable country. We have rights, rights that most people that have ever lived on this world never even imagined.

    We have the opportunity to give a good life to our kids and help show them that even with tragedy and crisis we can rise above it and gain peace and understanding. We do not need all the answers to life's big questions nor do we need a "peaceful and lovely" planet to be truly happy.

    -Sab

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