How to have "The Talk" with my nephew

serenitynow!

Not sex. My sister is taking care of the sex and condoms talk, thank goodness.

My only nephew (and likely the closest I will get to having a kid) turns 16 next month. His mom is inactive, doesn't know if she is going back. He does still go to the KH with my mom. He's not baptized but he does participate in the TMS.

I want to talk to him about the org. I'm not really sure how to do it. I do know that I want to first find out how he feels about the org, I don't think that he is as indoctrinated as I was at his age. His best friend is "worldly" and he's never really had any friends at the KH other than an older teen who studied with him and later got d/f'd. I've already talked to him about college and how he WILL be going, which he is very ok with.

For parents, how would you recommend me talking to him? I know that I need to be age appropriate, but I don't really know how to go about it. I'll be taking him school shopping shortly, and I figured we could go to lunch and I would talk to him then.

Suggestions? Thanks.

PSacramento

Ask him what he thinks and WHY he thinks it, take it from there.

Where he is wrong, show him and let him coem to his own conclusion.

crazyblondeb

Talk to him about what he sees in his future. That should give you an idea of what he

believes! Is he involved in any school activities? That's a conversation hard to plan...

alanv

Not easy but it could just save him from a life dedicated to the watchtower society.

I did it the wrong way. I bombarded my son who was about 22 with everything I new was wrong with the society. Unfortunately the witnesses had already got to him and warned him there would be strong opposition to him becoming a witness.

The best advice now I think is really what you said. Find out what he thinks and feels about the religion. He may never have thought for instance that the love that is shown is totally conditional on him believing all that he is told by the org. That may strike a cord.

Anyway good luck and keep us informed how things are going.

ShirleyW

Well, he's just 16,so technically, he's a minor and under his parent's roof (unless you have legal custody) so it wouldn't really be "the talk" since you're not his parent, it would just be a "casual converstion" so to speak if he is still under his parents roof and direction.

serenitynow!

Deb, asking him about his future is a good idea, very simple too(why didn't I think of that). He is in various school activities, my sister saw to that.

Not easy but it could just save him from a life dedicated to the watchtower society.

Exactly, that is what I want to do. I want to give him that chance his mom and I didn't have. I agree I don't think shoving all the info down his throat would be productive.

ShirleyW, I think that you maybe are being a bit legalistic; but I think I understand your concern that perhaps I'm overstepping my bounds in having such a serious conversation with someone else's child. His mom is aware of my concern, as she has concerns too. She is allowing him to do what he wants in regard to the religion. Recently my sister confronted our mom about the fact that our mom knew the org was flawed, yet she still brought us up in it, and it was a painful and difficult childhood. Personally, it would have been great if someone I trusted, who I knew cared about me had pulled me to the side and given me the real deal about the religion so that I could have made different choices.

Since I am family and the one who is going to put him through college (and it ain't gonna be easy); it's not going to be just a "casual conversation." I'm not going to be dogmatic, but in the end if he decides to throw his life away with a life of pioneering or some other crap; it won't be for lack of knowledge as to what the org is really about.

cult classic

You are a loving aunt to be looking ahead for him. It takes a village to raise a child properly. Different perspectives was something many of us were denied. He's fortunate to have you. I have an aunt who was never baptised and recently she told me she always believed this was a cult. How I wish she was in my life growing up.

You're ahead of the curve b/c your sister agrees with you. So just be balanced and keep the lines of communication open. As long as you're close by, you'll have lots of opportunites to guide him correctly. I would just make sure that you teach him the importance of making decisions that will benefit him in the future.

Good Luck. (who said that?)

Cult Classic

brotherdan

I would hope that if anyone showed me the true origins of this organization (as opposed to the new DVD and proclaimers book) that I'd be able to see the truth. 16 year olds are usually open to different points of view. I would show him some specific things on freeminds.org (without taking him to the site) and show him the experience of others.

He has only had the fluffed up false experiences from the district conventions to go off of to see that the org is WONDERFUL! But I'd gently show him the opposite experiences that people have had (child molestation, rape, df'ing, etc...)

onefootout

I would come from the angle of truth and knowledge as he is taught in science, history, math ect. in school. Emphasize no one is exempt from being fact checked from other sources. Expose him to other ways of thinking about religion and god. Don't make it the JW's or no belief at all. Young people can latch onto the JW's because a young person needs the world to make sense, and where they fit into it. I firmly believe education can free the mind to think for itself if the person applies themselves.

serenitynow!

Thanks so much for the suggestions.

Is it okay to use the "c" word? Or is that too much? The biggest thing for me to find out is how much they manipulate people; how they change literature, discourage thinking, and control all information.

How to have "The Talk" with my nephew

Share this