JW men - wordly women

by larc 34 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Frenchy

  Good question, larc.
  When religion is a factor,(aside from just finding someone they think they can't live without, period) I think that JW men choose worldly women primarily for the first two reasons you site, and in that order.

  A lot of the sisters would fool around but there is that danger that her conscience will kick in and buddy when she starts blabbing, your goose is cooked. There is also the factor of having to face this little dish at all the meetings as well. Will her eyes give her away? Will yours? Suppose you're in the same car group with her out in service? How will you keep your face from getting red when you're doing your #4 talk on the evils of fornication? What about your comments at the WT study? You would definitely have to be careful there too. And then there's that annoying fact that you know, she knows you're a hypocrite. And the awful fear that somehow she might one day bring it up during one of your romantic interludes and force you to see yourself for what you are. She might say something like this: "It's too bad that you and I will never be in the paradise earth, isn't it?"--a real downer in an otherwise uplifting situation if you get my drift. A worldly gal would never bring up something like that. She would do her thing, pick up her crucifix necklace off the motel nite stand, and go to her church on Sunday and think nothing of it.

  Then there's number two: Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest. Ask anyone who's ever stolen a watermelon if you don't believe me! This is especially a factor when the guy definitely does not want a permanent relationship which brings us to another, closely related point. The guy knows (at least he thinks he knows!) that he cannot marry this woman so it enables him to set up his emotional shields to keep this fling from becoming something meaningful.
• 

  Prisca

  JW men are afraid to commit. They date worldly girls because there is no pressure of committment.

  If they date a sister, they will be expected to be engaged within 6 mths or so, and married within the year. Also, the sister will most likely refuse to bed him, not even give him oral sex, until the wedding night, if she's a "good" JW.

  Whereas if they date a worldly girl, they don't have this pressure to get married. They can have their fun, for as long as they don't get caught, or get the guilts.

  Then, when they tire of the worldly girl, or get caught, they dump the worldly girl for some desperate virgin sister and get married within a few months. He's had his fun, and then he settles down for domesticity, knowing he might not ever get another blow job again.
• 

  larc

  Prisca dear,

  I have never seen you write in such a graphic manner. Wow! Now, I wrote that my wife and I dated before all the restrictions. Another thing, when we married, blow jobs were not discussed either, so it was not a restriction.

  Those were the good old days.
• 

  nelly136

  theyre less likely to get reprisals from
  a worldly woman rushing to the elders with a case of guilts
  and end up married to her as part of the conditions of repentance
  to save their arses from being df'd,
  the jws i saw that got up to naughty stuff as a dating couple were
  raced off for a registry office wedding or the wedding was brought forward in order to save them 'sinning',
  I cant imagine councel
  for someone dating a worldly person to be to marry them if theyd got into a bit of heavy petting,more likely to be councelled to quit contact to show repentance, as far as I can see if they date a wordly person it cuts down the odds of anyone needing to know, their standing as a jw isnt interfered with unless they get caught, at which point they can do 'the worldly person led me astray'number,
  its also a good get out for a later date when theyre bored with that person, "i'd love to be with you but i cant" (as if they didnt know that before they started)
  I've also noticed from time on the lists and dbs that some are
  totally determined to keep the worldly person from turning up at the hall, I can remember a few instances where the
  'worldly' girls gone anyways only to find their true love holding hands and sitting next to their 'respectable jw girlfriend'.
  The unfairest of all I think is the one that marries a non jw
  then decides that person must convert in order to be acceptable.
  Perhaps theyre just determined to sow their wild oats before they
  settle down, as worldly people are lesser mortals in the eyes of a jw
  what does it really matter if their feelings get hurt? they are after all just walking dead disposable items in the eyes of a jw.

  nelly

  just my opinion
• 

  larc

  Nelly,

  Very well written. I think you have captured the essence of the situation. Thank you.
• 

  larc

  Frenchy,

  I forgot to mention, but I thought your description of the situation was right on the money. (very prosiac praise, but that is the best I can do at the moment.)
• 

  plmkrzy

  Nelly
  "what does it really matter if their feelings get hurt? they are after all just walking dead disposable items in the eyes of a jw."

  I have actually heard that remark not to long ago from an active good jw The only difference was she wasn't concerned with the fact that she was taking advantage of someone because they were just worldy so it didn't matter.

  Prisca
  I sound like a man? sad face
• 

  waiting

  Touchy subject,

  It puts down jw men as shallow, and jw women (and all women) as useful objects. In a lot of cases, most likely true.

  I wasn't raised a jw, so I dated whoever I wanted, whatever religion.

  Now my husband? Raised a jw - good dub until he left home. Then he dated far and wide - in/out of the org. He was never considered "spiritually strong" and gravitated towards "fringe jw's and saw quite a bit of action....for decades. However, he never dated in his home city - didn't want to appear before the elders, for inappropriate holding hands. LOL, as if........!

  Btw, as to oral sex & anal sex. There is a group of jw's, probably worldly people too, who don't consider these, particularily oral sex, as sexual intercourse. If not intercourse, no need to speak with elders. A convenient *loophole* of sorts. There are some jw's who have extensive expertise on how to perform these acts.

  After I got divorced, a married ms came on to me. Hurt my feelings & I talked to another single brother who was coming on to me about it.
  His explanation: Some jw's who want to have an affair look to divorced sisters (we had it, we now don't, surely we must be looking for it.) They want to have an affair with a *clean* woman - no *nasties* to bring home to the good wife.

  Also, I found usually the one wandering will use the excuse "she doesn't understand me." And who to better understand a jw except another jw? Btw, this seems The Most Universal Line of All Time.

  But I thoroughly agree with Nelly & Frenchy too.

  Touchy subject - no pun intended.

  waiting
• 

  waiting

  Howdy larc,

  I'm learning about surveys, etc., in class. You have here an uncontrolled group? We don't have a paper in front of us making us use 1, 2, or 3.

  So we don't. We espouse our opinions and you have to figure out what we're saying. And we NEVER stick to 1, 2, or 3. Poor larc!

  waiting
• 

  Thirdson

  This thread reminded me (long forgotten) about a time when I was a dumb dub and very "good". When I was fresh out of college (OK, not the perfect dub) I worked for a crappy little company doing a crappy job. However, part of the job was being provided with a nice 2.0 litre automobile - sedan (needed towing ability, and big in the UK), but I digress....

  There were a number of female employees around my age who worked there and one fancied me. But I was not really interested and while I talked to her, even had lunch in a group together I never dreamed of dating her. She sent me a Valentine card, to my home (I lived with my parents) and my parents saw it. It was the only Valentine card I would get for the next 15 years.

  This girl worked on the front desk. One day a friend, a JW, and sales rep stopped by to see me and to go out to lunch together. While waiting for me he chatted to the receptionist. He said nothing to me about her until after the Service Meeting the following night. Then he gave me this long lecture with scriptures from both testaments on the dangers of dating worldy girls and how I could get unevenly yoked tith an "unbeliever"...it was like a 5 minute number 4 talk. I said little, was rather confused by the lecture but knew all that stuff and lived it.

  I never knew what this girl said to him but whatever it was I think there was a BIG opportunity that I missed out on. Being the faithful, virginal dub that I was I never pursued the lovely Jackie (I knew she wore French knickers too!). A few months later I started to date a JW girl who I would later marry and divorce. After 6 months of dating I announced my engagement at work. I got a congratulatory kiss from Jackie. It may have been friendly but on the other hand, it might have been the last chance to sample the wares freely offered but plainly rejected.

  Thirdson

  (BTW the company made vibrators but not the ones you lot know