Need JW Jokes!!

by Francois 12 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Scully

  A Jew, a Hindu and JW were travelling together along a deserted country road. It was getting late, and the travellers were growing tired. They agreed to stop at the next house and ask for a place to stay the night. They soon arrived at a small farmhouse. The farmer and his wife offered them shelter for the night, however, there was only room enough for two of the travellers to stay in the house. One of the travellers would have to stay in the barn.

  The Hindu was the first to offer to stay in the barn. A brief period of time passed as he went his way to the barn, and the other travellers started preparing to go to sleep. There was a knock at the door, and it was the Hindu: "Oh I am so sorry, but you did not tell me there was a cow in the barn. I cannot sleep there as my religion forbids it."

  So the Jew decides to go to the barn in his place. It wasn't long before there was another knock on the door. "You should have said you kept a pig in the barn. I can't stay in there, it's against my religion."

  So finally it falls to the good JW to spend the night in the barn. He says "Hey no problem! My religion has no restrictions against animals the way yours do. See you in the morning!"

  Everyone is finally settling down to sleep, looking forward to a quiet night after the recent confusion. Suddenly, there was another knock at the door. The farmer was getting irritated by this time, and was quite upset as he went to open the door.

  It was the cow and the pig.

  It is not persecution for an informed person
  to expose a certain religion as being false. - WT 11/15/63

  A religion that teaches lies cannot be true. -WT 12/1/91
• 

  rolling rock

  Ok my JW mom told me this one...

  Why do JW gals have inverted boobs?

  From people pointing there fingers in there chest saying get off my porch...

  Thought that was good cuming from my jw mom...
• 

  Erich

  A regular ("plain") publisher, an elder and a bethelist entered a full-packed congress-hall one after another.
  
  Finally, after a longer searching, the publisher found a free seat and sat down.
  
  In the same moment, he cried out before pain: A long rusty nail had drilled him into his ass.
  
  " Oh bloody shit! These trolls! Early in the morning, at 3 o'clock, I had to stand up from my bed driving here as fast as possible to find a car-parking place here, and a free seat in the hall. And now that happens! And I also have hunger and thirst, but there is nothing to buy. Even a toilet cannot be found. Christian love should be that? I'm going home again, bye!
  Furiously and in rage he left the hall.
  
  Now, after he was gone, the elder came and also sat down on the chair.
  A paroxysmal jerk went through his body. With iron expression, immovable, without twitching with any eyelash, he got up, set his tie right, took flock- and service-book, ballpoint pens, and bag, and whispered in the ear of his seat-neighbor: " Sorry. Dear brother: I have to stand up and leave the hall again. Unfortunately, I forgot the manuscript I had prepared for my talk this afternoon. I wish you a nice and edifying day"! With stiff steps, he moved his body up to the exit.
  
  After some time the bethelist came and took a seat on the chair. The smile in his face became brighter, and expressed luck and contentment. Oh, isn't it wonderful and encouraging, brother", he whispered to the ear of his seat-neighbor: " to perceive the splendid experiences, that, day by day, come through the invisible spiritual channel of God...?"