by notverylikely 71 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
I did not like reading your post. I did not like what you did. I don't know you but you know you did a morally wrong thing.
OK. No one made you read it. I admitted my own wrongdoing, but I appreciate you're re-iterating it.
And... disagreeing with the WTS isn't an excuse to cheat on your wife
I never said it was.
I feel awkward being judgmental
Then why do it?
I said my peace.
Piece.
There are a lot if details about the marriage that led up to the cheating. I don't think I ever justified that or tried to excuse my behavior, in fact I freely admit my guilt. I do find it interesting that awkward to judge without the details and after the person has admitted the guilt and being wrong, yet that doesn't stop the judging anyway.
In any event, I just hope someone got some help from this or it was somehow useful. I made my bed and I AM sleeping in it, despite what some people think. There, I've said my peace. Piece.
nvl, I wish you the best of luck moving forward!
NVL
Thank you for taking the time to write this up. It's extremely well written and richly detailed. I'm of the opinion that sharing the good, the bad and the ugly on our current/former (whichever is the case) lives as JWs on sites such as this is very important.
Though some are able to break away, many can't. I'm so sorry that the WTBTS happened to you. I wish you the very best, NVL in your future. You are FREE.
Best,
~LV
NVL - I just read your most recent post that you were probably writing when I was writing my message above. I honestly, honestly believe that posts such as yours can be of enormous help. Your post may help someone today or this week. But it's here as a record. Perhaps in a few months or next year or even in five years or more someone will read your post and be helped by it. It will probably help many and you won't hear from 99% of them.
~LV
It helped me thanks for the candid life story. Peace to All! And to be honest I think it was tasteful not to tell us all the bad of why it led to adultry I was shoked how many people wanted me to tell all the dirt ,and except a few trusted friends that I needed to let it out to, I leave it as none of your business!!!
thanks laverite. I appreciate it. I just thought was interesting that even after i admitted my own guilt that cat felt the need to share that i was guilty and then feel "awkward" about doing something she totally didn't have to do.
cattails said: And... disagreeing with the WTS isn't an excuse to cheat on your wife. I'm sorry for your situation, but you made your other bed and slept in it. I feel awkward being judgmental, but I don't think the elders in the JC should have cried and hugged you, you did the nasty and deserved the kicking in the butt for it.
Cattails, do you know NVL's entire marital history? Unless you do, then perhaps you should try reserving your judgement. I remember a girl in my old congregation who was married to a man who was mentally, physically and emotionally abusive to her. She ended up committing adultery and was DF'd for it. I know another guy whose wife cut him off of sex 3 months after they were married because she "didn't like it". After going for 2 or 3 years with no sex, guess who ended up committing adultery and getting DF'd for it? I know another guy who was married to a total nag. That's all she did: nag him because he didn't make enough money for her, nagged him to re-do the house a thousand different ways for her, nagged that he didn't want to become an elder (which would have raised her social status in the congregation). Nag, nag, nag. He was terribly unhappy with her and guess who ended up having an extra-marital affair? Another guy had not had sex with his wife in over 20 years---she just wasn't interested. Guess what happened?
While a world without adultery would save alot of marriages, people also need to take into consideration what led up to it in the first place. This religion can put a huge strain on a marriage when one mate still believes it's the Truth while the other one doesn't. One mate might be distant emotionally from the other person, or heck, people even just grow apart. But of course, we live in such a politically correct society today that one is never supposed to acknowledge that adultery could ever be understandable under any circumstances.
I don't know the circumstances that led up to NVL's adultery, but I think it's pretty nervy of you to automatically assume the role of judge and jury on him when you don't know anything about his life. Let's hope you never put a wrong step and then write about it on here.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Glad that you are out! Look ahead for better times to be had, don't dwell on the past, what's done is done. Learn and grow. What you may have done may have been 'wrong' but who the hell am I to judge anyone? I'm just happy that you got out! Prison break!
Wow, great post Mary.
