Worldly Husbands

Frenchy

larc has an interesting thread going about why JW men choose to date (and beyond) worldly women in lieu of dating the seemingly overbundant supply of 'horny' sisters available. I recommend it.

It set me to thinking about yet another interesting phenomena in JWdom. That is the situation where the JW woman has, as a husband, a 'non-believer'. This is the sister who, unlike many described here as hell-bent to get their husband 'in the truth', really does not want the guy in the hall except for the Memorial. What? You didn't know about those sisters? Well they're there.

A C.O. once made the statement at an elders' meeting at a circuit assembly that the single biggest factor in unbelieving husbands not accepting 'the truth' was their wives. He meant it to mean that they were too aggressive in trying to convert the poor guy but there is a meaning there that the C.O. didn't even see. Many DO NOT WANT HUBBY inside the org.

Why?

larc

Frenchy,

As with every subject I have an opinion. I think that some Witness women become Witnesses and really don't want their husbands to join them because the religion gives them the chance and the time to get away from their husbands. Religion is a more socially acceptable way for a woman to get away from her man than adultery.

cellomould

I hate to blame it on gold-digging, but perhaps that's all there is to it, Frenchy.

More money = more personal attention for her(?)

cello about to erupt in flames

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

Frenchy

larc:
Excellent point, I had not considered that one. Makes sense.

Anyone else?

nelly136

my nan was married to a non jw, she joined while he was
away in world war2 I think, they happily cohabited for years
I think she nagged him ealier on but eventually settled to him doing his thing she doing hers, my auntie was married to one jw (beat the crap out of her)the next two husbands were non jw they also did their thing and she did hers, seemed to be a pretty good working arrangement.

nelly

Frenchy

cello: Didn't mean to ignore your post, ours crossed. What do you mean by your comment? Do you mean that non-JW's would be likely to have more money than JW's? The particular cases I had in mind were women with husbands that were rather poor providers.

nelly: Thank you too for your input. I have seen that arrangement but it's not limited to JW's.

nelly136

lol i know its not limited to jws, but I also think my auntie got to get her cake and eat it, if she missed any meetings because of hubbies no one was going to berate her over it, if she had to cook turkey for dinner at christmas she was just being wife in subjection,
to my mind she had choice of takin jw life home or leaving it behind when she left the kingdom hall.
when she got divorced from no1 wife beater it was frowned on, she was dfd later reinstated for getting number 2 (scripturally not free to remarry or something)
I dont remember there being any mention of elder interference with either of the worldly husbands after that.
nelly

cellomould

Frenchy,

Perhaps not that non-JWs would need to have more money. But there is that possibility, plus the extra attention she would get from a non-JW.

For example, I would not sit next to my ex-girlfriend at the k.h. She constantly asked me to, but I didn't think I could 'get away with it'. She definitely wanted more attention. Her social status therefore wasn't improved much by dating me.

But back to the money issue; as much as my ex said money wasn't important to her, it was. (I was a poor college student as well as a poor JW.) She would say stuff like 'you need a new car'. On what budget?

Since 99% of men choose money as their primary currency of attention-giving, the majority rules. It is easy for a non-JW with a few social skills and a little money to work his way into a woman's heart. (JW boys may tend to have a little less of one or the other )

---will play cello for food

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

edited but still not making as much sense as I would like. he he

waiting

Howdy,

Not all men are louses. I know several jw women who's husbands aren't in the org.....and they have lovely homes, kids go to good schools, some to college. Their husbands are gracious to jw's who visit - even having get-togethers at their house, and the jw wifes *have* to join in a semblance of celebrating the holidays. They dress nice, can/can't work outside the home with no snide comments from other jw's. But they also have FREEDOM away from the jw's. What they want to read, watch, speak about. These sisters have been married for decades to these men, started out the same as most of us - young & poor.

But they have good marriages - and o-so-much more freedom than many jw woman have at home. I was speaking with a sister who's husband is a jw. She laughed about the sister who's husband wasn't, saying "Oh, she takes good care of her husband - she knows how good she has it."

Another phenomenon: jw's married to worldly men will moan & groan about their lot in life - and get much pity. Married to a jw man? Keep quiet - at least your husband's in The Truth!

I know the above aren't the only views. But I had always thought that any & all jw women yearned to have their husbands in the org. I was wrong.

waiting

BobsGirl

I didn't think that I would EVER marry. There was no way in Hell I was going to marry into the borg and be eternally trapped. I really couldn't see having children who were trapped. So I decided that I wouldn't marry and that I would try the slow fade. Then something glorious happened. I met a wonderful, sensitive, caring man who had never heard the word "headship". He thought I was beautiful and corageous and strong. He belived that I was an angel sent to earth. He adored and worshipped me. Growing up in the borg, I had no idea that such men existed. I spent the greater part of my first year with him waiting for the other shoe to drop. He would be so tender and appreciative of me that I was frequently moved to tears. I think this baffled him, he took for granted that these were the natural behaviors of a man in love. When he asked me to marry him, my only stipulation was that he NEVER convert to the borg. He is my best friend, my lover and he paved my path out. He has been my supporter every step of the way. He comes from a large family that have taken me under their wing and softened the blow of losing some contact with my family. He is my gift .... one that I never would have known how to ask for. Thank you God.

BobsGirl

"May the work of your hands be a sign of gratitude and reverence to the human condition." - Mahatma Gandhi

Worldly Husbands

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