Hello from a Pagan UBM

by Libelle 35 Replies latest jw friends

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  garyneal

  Actually I spend alot of time keeping my beliefs underwraps which is wearing on me.

  I can certainly relate to that. I find myself walking on eggshells because I want to do simple things like birthdays, holidays, or even attend get togethers with people from various churches and wondering if my wife will not be 'stumbled' by it somehow. Then I realize, "Wait just a dag on minute, she married me know who I was from the beginning. Why am I watching my moves and apologizing for who I am?"

  I've had to assert myself to her on more than one occasion because of this. She married me knowing who I was. I did not change, she did. She needs to live with it.
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  chrisjoel

  Hi Libelle....just a few thoughts:

  you are in a woeful situation. Does your husband think you are, in the end, an athiest? Since your relgion is an "earth" based religion he might see it that way. I think its intresting. Have you ever attended meetings with him? If so, then you would have heard the "Israelites being cautioned against hanging out with pagan nations". Your man, may have shivers run up his spine when he hears this. IF theres 1 thing Jehovahs Witnesses "hate" more,or at least the same as apostates and homosexuals, its athiests and pagans. On the other hand you do have something in common. The "you reap what you sow" outlook on things.But karma isnt going to save your marriage when the magazines and witness indoctrination overpower reason.

  I think, if he left before, for good reasons, he can leave again for better reasons. If your husband is easy to talk to and listens i think you have a chance.If he doesnt care and has the "my relgion right or wrong" mentality then imo all is lost. Its like living with a stranger.
• 

  Dark Side

  Libelle,

  Stick around. Read. There is a ton of information here about the Watchtower cult. This board has been one of the great finds of my life

  On a personal note, reveal little about youself. Some of these posters are vicious
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  wannabefree

  You have probably come to recognize that his mission is to get you to accept "The Truth" as uniquely taught by Jehovah's Witnesses. Help him to learn it ISN'T the truth before the attachments become complicated.
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  Libelle

  Thanks for the welcome TNL. yeah awkward, I guess that's a nice way of saying it!

  Gary - yeah I walk on eggshells with the religion thing. It's not that I worry about stumbling him, it's that I have stepkids whom I'm not allowed to share my beliefs with. So for instance, my seasonal decorations do not happen, since they are not allowed to look at them, and I don't want to put them in a tough place.

  ChrisJoel, I believe his perspective on my beliefs is that they are a Satanic diversion from The Truth TM . The reason he left before he would chalk up to "being worldy" rather than seeing evidence of how whacked they are. Yes, he loves their beliefs and is caught up with them hook, line and sinker. It absolutely is like living with a stranger. He is not the same person.
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  Libelle

  Oops! Cross posted!

  Thanks for the tip, DS.

  WBF, at this stage, he doesn't want to see anything else. I don't know if he ever will leave this stage, at this point he's immersed in it and happy to be.
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  JWoods

  Libelle, just as a matter of interest - what kind of pagan are you?

  I post on a Ferrari owners board, and we have a guy there who proclaims himself to be a pagan. However, when questioned, he pretty much says he just kind of rejected established religion and made up his own - which he calls pagan.

  Just wondering - I am an agnostic myself.
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  Libelle

  JWoods, I'm what I like to call an earth-based choose your own adventure Pagan. (CYOA Pagan). I do find the old mythologies interesting, but I don't tend to hearken back to "the old ways". I don't think it's wise to base current beliefs off everything people used to do. But even in old myths some truths can be found (in some you have to dig a little more than others). In my view, spirituality should evolve as human understanding has evolved.
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  snowbird

  Very interesting, LiBelle.

  I can't see your husband messing with you!

  Syl
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  JWoods

  JWoods, I'm what I like to call an earth-based choose your own adventure Pagan. (CYOA Pagan). I do find the old mythologies interesting, but I don't tend to hearken back to "the old ways". I don't think it's wise to base current beliefs off everything people used to do. But even in old myths some truths can be found (in some you have to dig a little more than others). In my view, spirituality should evolve as human understanding has evolved.

  Yup- that sounds a lot like our guy. He has an old Lotus instead of a Ferrari, but we are a pretty understanding and tolerant group. All I can say is - it looks to me like if your husband keeps getting tighter with the Watchtower cult - you are going to need to be pretty understanding and tolerant yourself. I don't envy the situation, but stay with us and let us know how everything goes - maybe you can help him out of it someday. James