The thing about writing a letter of dissassociation, is that if you want the general members of the cong to know YOU made the choice to leave, the elders will not broadcast that. They will just say from the platform "Joe Smith is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses." So its the same as being DF or DA in everyone elses eyes. Personally I would rather people know that I pulled the plug and not them doing it.
I could care less how they all think of me. Sometimes they tell my little girls who have to go with my ex to the meetings "oh tell your mom we said hi and we miss her, and to come back to the meetings." But I think that is just ridiculous to say that stuff to a 4 and 6 year old, they should keep their mouths shut. I digress.
The point I am making is that you have to decide how much the "label" will impact your life. I quit meetings cold turkey and I am treated like I am DF'd. But I don't really care. I would rather my kids not grow up with the stigma of a DF'd mother, but as they get older they will learn that it is just the label the JW's put on people as they see fit. Good luck!