Flower: A lot of us have been through what you are experiencing, hon. It's part of the process for a lot of us who were very in and very sincere about the whole thing.
The question you ask cannot be answered by anyone but you. You alone should decide what it is that you will do. I know it's difficult but it's necessary. Up until now someone else has been doing your thinking for you and like unused muscles that are suddenly flexed, there is some pain when the intellect is called upon to make decisions on its own.
Here is something that helped me. In the end we all stand alone before the throne of judgment, we stand before God for what we did and didn't do and there is no one that can come between us. That means that our life is our responsibility, we alone have to account for it. Suppose we made a mistake? So what? God knows that we will make mistakes, it will be our mistakes. The Society has, by its own reluctant semi-admission, made plenty of mistakes, some of their mistakes have cause untold harm and even death. Have you done anything on that scale? I don't think so. So why would God allow the Society to make mistakes and not you?
God will not punish you for honest mistakes. He judges not so much works but the heart. Consider this warning from Jesus: "But whoever stumbles one of these little ones who put faith in me, it is more beneficial for him to have hung around his neck a millstone such as is turned by an ass and to be sunk in the wide, open sea." --Matt 18:6 NWT. THAT is what we have to worry about, stumbling and misleading OTHERS. Jesus did not say, "woe to whoever makes a mistake!"
You are doing the right thing to question your faith. You will eventually make a decision based on that investigation. Pray to God and allow him to guide you...mind you I said guide and not choose for you. Yes, that's right, not even God will give you that answer outright so certainly no human should presume to do so.
Hang in there, sis. You'll be fine.