The Five Languages of Love (page 2)

Dark Side

I read it. I still suck.

Thank god I have a wife who believes in me

Lillith26

Oh, I get it now- my hubby is the 'acts of service' type... he doesnt like to see me bored, so he creates the mess and mayham to keep me busy cause he loves me...... yep

Lill needs some good lovin *quality time* and a little *physical* private recreational

Dark Side

Lillith, for the most part, men stink at relationships. We have no clue what a wife needs. But we try

Give your guy the benefit of the doubt. He's a blind man in the dark

the thing i'm wondering bout this book, for those that HAVE read it... is it like trying to understand your mate in a way like... they're ONE of those languages? or is it like all five will apply in different situations? nad you're to try to understand?

me

AwSnap

Voices: Chances are your mate fits one category the most, with another as a close second. Chances are the other ones do not matter so much to them. It mainly has to do with how they perceive love and affection. One person may crave compliments, so that is how they perceive everybody is.... when in fact, their mate may not care at all about compliments but feels the most love when his laundry is folded.

cognizant dissident

I'm greedy, I want all five.

Voices

i'm wondering if it's really greed or something else cognizant dissident... Cause i want all five as well....some i can do without but essentially in the end it's nice to have all five

teel

I'm thinking we all want all five, but one or two are above the rest. I think mine is Quality Time with Physical Touch as close second. I apreciate the others too, but these mean the most to me. My stbx wife on the other hand was more likely an Acts of Service kind, to which I didn't react too well I guess. You could say she was a perfect JW (I wonder, do JWs feel God's language of love is Acts of Service?)

AwSnap

Maybe I didnt clarify correctly ... With everything described in the book, its normal to want all 5 (...just not with the same intensity). In my case, "acts of service" isnt one of the top ones for me. If my laundry gets folded for me, I appreciate it....but dang, I do it all the time for him so whats the big deal?

When I made lunch yesterday, I appreciated that he stepped away from the game and sat at the dining room table to eat with me (quality time). But it didnt really give me the warm and fuzzies.

If you feel equally passionate about all 5, I'd say (IMHO of course)....you may be a bit needy and high maintenance and i'm glad I'm not married to ya. LMAO

Heaven

Lillith, for the most part, men stink at relationships. We have no clue what a wife needs.

And even if you tell them, it doesn't mean it's going to sink in or anything is going to change. They have to want it. I think some men have difficulty with relationships because they think it's all about them. There are also some women like this as well. If you have a difficult time with the whole concept of the Golden Rule, then you're going to 'stink at relationships'.

I asked my hubby (at the time) to read Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and he refused. I tried to discuss things with him but he wasn't willing to participate. I asked him to seek professional help with his issues but he didn't go.

At some point you have to accept that this person just doesn't want to have anything to do with you, that they don't want the work that's involved, and it's time to move on.

Voices, usually there are 2 main 'Love Languages' that surface when you go through the questionnaire in the book. When you focus on your mate's 'Love Languages', especially when they differ from yours, then your relationship becomes about showing love to your mate in a way that they relate to. The author of the book has found that people's marriages as well as other relationships improve when we realize how to show love in a way that the other person relates to. He says he has found 5 main ones, but that doesn't mean there aren't others.

If you are one of these people who 'stinks at relationships', then "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman should definitely be able to help you reduce or eliminate 'the stink'.

The Five Languages of Love

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